"And it's all going to be your fault"

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You know, I've been thinking....

Dangerous pastime, apparently, because the more I think about this, the madder I get. I am not doing my blood pressure any favors here.

I have been a member for a while now, read these threads even before I became a member, and I have noticed a disturbing trend. I am wondering if anyone else has as well.

It all our fault.

I don't care what happens, who does it, who causes it, the nurse gets blamed. Management backs up the customer-cum-patient, admin backs up the managers, HR backs up the admin.

So, I dreamed this little warning label of sorts up for all those wide-eyed, fresh-faced nurses-to-be out there. I wish someone had told me what I was getting myself into.

Dear Soon-to-Be Nurse:

A Friendly Warning. It's all going to be your fault.

After school, you'll get a job. You'll be ready to take on the world. Get ready. It's coming.

You'll get asked for medical advice by every family member, friend, relation, acqaintance, and person you don't even know that gets wind that you are a nurse. One of 4 things will happen:

1) You will advise them, they will not follow the advice. They will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

2)You will tell them that you would rather not advise them, that they need to consult their regular doc. They won't do it amd that won't get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

3) You will advise them and the advice will not help and the y will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

4) You will advise them, they will get well, pass along the advice to a friend, who had a DIFFERENT problem, and he will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

You will go to work. You'll go in to meet your patients for the day (or night). You'll smile and be perky. They will complain because they just found out that they have a dreaded disease and they don't want to be smiled at. And it's all going to be your fault.

You'll go in to see your next patient, still upset by the reaction of your first, and are a little less upbeat. They will complain because they have had a bad day and they think that their nurse should be happy just to serve them. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor did not order the pain medicine that Patient Number 3 ordered because the patient is a known drug abuser who is only in for his fix. The doctor explicitly states in his orders that he is not to be called for orders for pain. That patient refuses to accept this. And it's all going to be your fault.

Patient Number 4 is NPO, and Aunt Katie can not understand why he can not have something to eat. After all, he's hungry, and you are starving him to death. All the other nurses fed him. You're just mean. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor comes in to see Patient 4 and finds him wolfing down pizza that Aunt Katie brought him because she knows what he needs better that you do. They snuck the pizza in as you were coding Patient 5. Patient 4 now has to reschedule his surgery since he ate. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor will call the supervisor to tell her how incompetently run this floor is and how no one ever does what they are supposed to do. The supervisor will pacify the doctor and the patients and family. She will tell you to be more careful in how you present yourself, because the patients perception of you, while not measurable, is important. Never mind that you have done everything by the book, to the letter, and that, Oh yes, nuber 5 is alive, thank you. No, no, we have to work on our image and smile, smile, smile, (except around patient 1) even though you may have just herniated your umbilicus doing compressions, because our patients have a perception. And if it goes to heck, it's all going to be YOUR fault.

No, the above did not happen. Maybe I am just jaded. That's why I got away from the bedside, and why I am getting my NP. I want to be a manager that has my nurse's back. That will say, "No, Mr. Loudmouth, you may NOT have 4 cheeseburgers. You may NOT call my nurses foul names. You may NOT help yourself to any and everything on this floor like it was your own personal mini-mart." If I ever acted the way I have seen some sups act, "Well just watch how you present yourself.", I would hope someone smacked me!

Flame me if you want to. I really do think newbies should be warned about things. I think they should be trained how to handle it, not sold up the river. Maybe this would also help with the shortage. Just maybe. Thanks.:D

i think i began to understand this just a few months after i became an rn. it was also three days before i got married, and i was working my last shift before my wedding. i took a man who had muscle biopsy out to his car at discharge, and he was mad at the doctor for discharging him. when i helped him out of his wheelchair, he shoved me hard in the chest and i fell back on the pavement on my butt. i had a bruise on the center of my chest that i had to cover up with makeup on my wedding day.

i remember crying and feeling very ashamed, and i didn't tell anyone about it. i thought if i had been a better nurse, maybe he wouldn't have done that to me. i remembered bringing him coffee and a warm blanket, and wondering if i could have done more? it had already started...even i was blaming myself.

blah. i hate talking about this subject. there's like no way for it to improve. my self esteem has taken a tremendous hit since i've become an rn. you're right - someone is always mad at and blaming us, and there doesn't seem anyway to change that.

honesty, you could have and should press charges against this patient -- especially as he assaulted you with intention of harm and did so practically off hospital property. there is no excuse for this type of behavior against nurses!!! that is assault and battery, my dear. press charges.

This reality of nursing is why I'm not sure I will last long in the profession. It's just such a constant mental and emotional strain to work in this environment, to work so hard for so many people, only to have the constant threat of a lawsuit hanging over your head. I feel it constantly, and it's all our managers and admin seem to have on their minds. We can't even BE nurses.

I want to do a job where a mistake will hurt me only -- where I can make mistakes and not fear that my life and livelihood will be over. Nursing is just too much RISK. As a nurse now for about 18 months, I've never felt more at risk in my life.

Specializes in EC, IMU, LTAC.
This reality of nursing is why I'm not sure I will last long in the profession. It's just such a constant mental and emotional strain to work in this environment, to work so hard for so many people, only to have the constant threat of a lawsuit hanging over your head. I feel it constantly, and it's all our managers and admin seem to have on their minds. We can't even BE nurses.

I want to do a job where a mistake will hurt me only -- where I can make mistakes and not fear that my life and livelihood will be over. Nursing is just too much RISK. As a nurse now for about 18 months, I've never felt more at risk in my life.

I'm going back to school for IT, as this job is too dangerous. I'm not going to martyr myself out to the many oppositions to my job. I'm philanthropic, but I'm not masochistic. Nursing is so often an impossible situation. I feel bad that I'm going to leave so many behind in this thankless job, but I need to save my own hide. Kudos to you who are willing to risk lawsuits, violence, and sabotage for the patients. I promise that I'll be a good patient if I ever end up in the hospital.

Specializes in NICU, ER.

LOLOLOLOL This was a hilarious post. I was completely ready for you to say pt #5 was a DNR.

Specializes in addictions recovery, tele, peds.

Ive been working 7 months now and I have to say what you said is so true I have actually had pt 2 and 3 and so true about families.....funny post:yeah:

All I can say is-----

1. Everything is a choice!

2. I'm not responsible for what you choose to do.

Therefore------

3. It is most definately soooo NOT MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

There is only one wish I can have for new RNs who read this post. PLEASE don't allow yourselves to be abused and feel "guilty". This is a profession that requires mental stamina and the ability to place SOLID REALISTIC BOUNDARIES.

Being assaulted by ANYONE IS NOT acceptable whether verbal or physical.

Best post ever.:yeah: I'm not a nurse yet, but working as a CNA I can relate to some of what you're saying. I had a lady that came and stayed with her husband from 7am till 9pm everyday. She was a former nurse and was on our case all the time about EVERYTHING!! One day she rang for me and I went in to see what the problem was and he needed to be cleaned up..no problem. She then went on and on about why he was having stomach problems and going BM all the time and that I wasn't feeding him the right diet. Like a CNA has control over what comes out on the trays! I rolled him over and it looked like someone dumped a can of corn in the bed! When I opened the closet to get him some clean clothes there was a case of canned corn in there! Oh yeah, it's my fault he's got stomach problems when you're loading him up on freakin' corn! GEEZE!:eek:

I still can't eat canned corn till this day!:barf02:

I have one co-worker that I have lunch with once a week to vent with. I printed this out and read it to her. Now when ever we get frustrated with our jobs, patients, families, doctors we just smile at eachother and say..."and it's all going to be your fault" and somehow it makes the whole situation less miserable. I, too, have created a "warning" for wanna-be nurses though yours is much better.Thanks!!!

try re-posting when you have somewhere between 3+ yrs under your belt your perspective may be significantly different.

I recently had this happen to me, pt drug seeker, known to the unit, kept insisting I give meds for which there was no orders, she told me she was going to report me for unethical nursing, I informed her I had spoken to the doc, no orders rec'd charted it all, and she did in fact report me to the BON, which did open an investigation and I get to wait for 3 months until the next board meeting. Completely ruined my career at this point, more than likely the BON will close it b/c there is nothing there, but the stress and uncertainity of it has completely embittered me to nsg, healthcare, admin, I hate it. I have gotten beautiful performance evals, amazing raises, opportunites b/c of my knowledge and clinical skill but the minute customer service rating was bad w/ this crap pt, admin didnt give a damn about my 93- 98 % scores for performance, 10 years down the drain,.. run fast and far from nsg

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
try re-posting when you have somewhere between 3+ yrs under your belt your perspective may be significantly different.

I may have missed something, but WHO are you directing this at?

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