"And it's all going to be your fault"

Nurses General Nursing

Published

You know, I've been thinking....

Dangerous pastime, apparently, because the more I think about this, the madder I get. I am not doing my blood pressure any favors here.

I have been a member for a while now, read these threads even before I became a member, and I have noticed a disturbing trend. I am wondering if anyone else has as well.

It all our fault.

I don't care what happens, who does it, who causes it, the nurse gets blamed. Management backs up the customer-cum-patient, admin backs up the managers, HR backs up the admin.

So, I dreamed this little warning label of sorts up for all those wide-eyed, fresh-faced nurses-to-be out there. I wish someone had told me what I was getting myself into.

Dear Soon-to-Be Nurse:

A Friendly Warning. It's all going to be your fault.

After school, you'll get a job. You'll be ready to take on the world. Get ready. It's coming.

You'll get asked for medical advice by every family member, friend, relation, acqaintance, and person you don't even know that gets wind that you are a nurse. One of 4 things will happen:

1) You will advise them, they will not follow the advice. They will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

2)You will tell them that you would rather not advise them, that they need to consult their regular doc. They won't do it amd that won't get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

3) You will advise them and the advice will not help and the y will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

4) You will advise them, they will get well, pass along the advice to a friend, who had a DIFFERENT problem, and he will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

You will go to work. You'll go in to meet your patients for the day (or night). You'll smile and be perky. They will complain because they just found out that they have a dreaded disease and they don't want to be smiled at. And it's all going to be your fault.

You'll go in to see your next patient, still upset by the reaction of your first, and are a little less upbeat. They will complain because they have had a bad day and they think that their nurse should be happy just to serve them. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor did not order the pain medicine that Patient Number 3 ordered because the patient is a known drug abuser who is only in for his fix. The doctor explicitly states in his orders that he is not to be called for orders for pain. That patient refuses to accept this. And it's all going to be your fault.

Patient Number 4 is NPO, and Aunt Katie can not understand why he can not have something to eat. After all, he's hungry, and you are starving him to death. All the other nurses fed him. You're just mean. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor comes in to see Patient 4 and finds him wolfing down pizza that Aunt Katie brought him because she knows what he needs better that you do. They snuck the pizza in as you were coding Patient 5. Patient 4 now has to reschedule his surgery since he ate. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor will call the supervisor to tell her how incompetently run this floor is and how no one ever does what they are supposed to do. The supervisor will pacify the doctor and the patients and family. She will tell you to be more careful in how you present yourself, because the patients perception of you, while not measurable, is important. Never mind that you have done everything by the book, to the letter, and that, Oh yes, nuber 5 is alive, thank you. No, no, we have to work on our image and smile, smile, smile, (except around patient 1) even though you may have just herniated your umbilicus doing compressions, because our patients have a perception. And if it goes to heck, it's all going to be YOUR fault.

No, the above did not happen. Maybe I am just jaded. That's why I got away from the bedside, and why I am getting my NP. I want to be a manager that has my nurse's back. That will say, "No, Mr. Loudmouth, you may NOT have 4 cheeseburgers. You may NOT call my nurses foul names. You may NOT help yourself to any and everything on this floor like it was your own personal mini-mart." If I ever acted the way I have seen some sups act, "Well just watch how you present yourself.", I would hope someone smacked me!

Flame me if you want to. I really do think newbies should be warned about things. I think they should be trained how to handle it, not sold up the river. Maybe this would also help with the shortage. Just maybe. Thanks.:D

Sorry, I clicked on reply in this OP but somehow got out of sequence, sorry for the confusion..

OP

Re: "And it's all going to be your fault"

You do sound a bit jaded, that is coming from a new graduate. However, maybe you are taking it as a personal thing when people are just not always nice. I'm sure dr's are asked for medical advice a lot too, and often it is their fault!

But thanks for the uplifting post!

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

Oh, NP, just wondered! I have gotten more laughs from this post, I printed it out for my NP class, and they all had a ball with it. Good luck, hon, sounds like you're burnt out.

I absolutely loved the OP! That nurse had it all figured out and it was awesome, so refreshing to see that other nurses experience similar events!

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
I have not noticed that when it comes to nurses it's always their fault but then again I'm new, check back with me in a year or two.

2 years have lapsed BinkieRN, I'm curious............did your perception change? :D

:yeah: not jaded.......so true.......
Specializes in MS/Telemetry.

Can I come work with you? Loved your post!:yeah:

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

Anytime, dear, anytime. Always welcome a kindred spirit!

We can't choose what people say to us. But we can choose how to deal with the situation. :devil:

Specializes in Psychiatric nursing.

I work in psych and often get told "If you don't prescribe me methodone/oxycontin/some other drug of addiction I will kill myself and it will be your fault".

I understand that they may not want to withdraw...however our service doesn't prescribe methadone/oxycontin etc...and it won't be my fault....

Specializes in Cardiac Nursing.
When I was working at Harborview in Seattle I got report on a patient who I was told no longer required restraints.

Somehow, I knew what to expect when I went to that room.

I called security to ask if they could locate my errant patient. One of the guys said he had seen the soon-to-be-former-patient while he was coming in to work - heading down Yessler (a.k.a. "skid road").

I checked with the powers that be, and discharged him AMA.

Don't you know that at the end of my shift, he was back in the room he had previously occupied expecting to be treated. The guy had gone down to Pioneer Square and done what people do in Pioneer Square.

"Sorry, you're not a patient here any more."

I had this happen to a patient of mine. An 18 yo asthmatic admitted for an acute episode decided to go out to smoke with his "friend". Med pass comes 10 minuets later and he isn't back so, I ask one of my aides who smoked to check to see if he was down in the smoking area. Nope, had to call house sup and security and call a "code pink" (missing adult) so security could do a thorough search. No patient. Had to call the doctor who said discharge him AMA, then I had the wondeful task of calling his mom. She was nice to me and wanted to kill him, as he was still on her insurance. I explained everything that happened, then documented my orifice off. About 2300 he he comes strolling in, in clothes different than he left in with his gown slung over his shoulder WITH a cigar in his mouth. He strolled by like nothing had happened, that he had just left a few minutes ago not 4 HOURS ago. I had to say those wonderful words "sir, you've been discharged". HE was like umm, ok and turned to leave. I then had to say, "uh, I need to take your IV out first" :banghead: I hope his "friends" were still downstairs as he was on his own to get home, unless he was brave enough to call his mom. I was fortunate that I didn't get chewed for that episode because "it was my fault my aaox3 patient decided to go smoke and then go party with his friends like he was staying at the Hilton instead of the hospital". But if something bad had happened to him, boy I bet I would have been screwed.

Specializes in I/DD.

Originally Posted by aeauooo

When I was working at Harborview in Seattle I got report on a patient who I was told no longer required restraints.

Somehow, I knew what to expect when I went to that room.

I called security to ask if they could locate my errant patient. One of the guys said he had seen the soon-to-be-former-patient while he was coming in to work - heading down Yessler (a.k.a. "skid road").

I checked with the powers that be, and discharged him AMA.

Don't you know that at the end of my shift, he was back in the room he had previously occupied expecting to be treated. The guy had gone down to Pioneer Square and done what people do in Pioneer Square.

"Sorry, you're not a patient here any more."

I've had that happen as well. The patient disappeared from the unit and was gone for 6 hours before we decided to discharge him from the system. He eventually came back and was shocked that we didn't hold his bed.

Being jaded isn't a terrible thing as long as you don't become bitter. There is a subtle yet relevant difference between the two.

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