hi. i'm finishing my first year of nursing school. i'm not sure if i like it or not. i originally got into nursing because my parents wanted me too, but i was also interested in the subject and patient care. i don't think nursing is right for me. btw, i'm in the rn program. most of my instructors are excellent. i have great clinical instructors. here are my concerns. if anyone can help me, thanks.
1) i ace my classes. i’m book smart, but i suck with common sense in clinicals! i think it’s because i lack a lot of experience. i didn’t even know how to change a diaper until this year! l i won’t mention all the dumb mistakes (really dumb common sense errors) here or else i might be identified. i don’t know what to do in a lot of situations, but of course i won’t know what i don’t know until it happens. then i feel really stupid.
2) i make a lot of stupid errors. i still forget to id patients even though i constantly remind myself to. i think it’s because i work with the same patient all day, so i forget to id them for new procedures. i check the patient information for food and procedures outside of the room, but when i bring it into the room, i forget to id them.
3) i stopped caring. right now, 25% of the time, i love being in clinicals. 75% of the time, i hate it. i don’t know why i stopped caring, but my patients deserve better. i just get through the day now. what i like about clinicals is patient teaching, documenting (weird huh?), and physical assessments. what i hate is giving meds (afraid of errors. i do enjoy learning about meds though!); i think wounds are interesting (ie stage 4 ulcers), but really dry cracked stage 1 or 2 ulcers creep me out (weird again?)!
4) because i stopped caring, i’ll probably make an error and get into a lawsuit. i bet i’ll worry about a possible lawsuit every day of my life.
5) i always feel overwhelmed with information. i used to study so hard, but weeks later, and i forget the information. now i’m slacking off like crazy. i just lost all motivation.
6) i’m afraid of infectious diseases. i can’t remember all the microorganisms and which precautions for what. also, i know this sounds bad, but i’m actually afraid to work with aids patients. originally, i didn’t mind, but now i keep finding random cuts on my hands and arms…
7) i’m shy. i’m always nervous. i hide it, but it shows during emergencies. i’m not good with emergency situations. i guess all that indoor studying made me not have good people person skills. i’m not very social anymore.
8) i think i’m the slowest “skills” learner in my class. i mean, with 3 new skills every day, i never master the previous skills! i practice, but one two weeks later, i forget!
9) i was pretty spoiled as a kid. i don’t even know how to take the bus. therefore, it’s hard for me to be independent now. i’m really trying. (feel free to hate me over being spoiled. i would to, if i were you).
i think i’d make a terrible nurse. i don’t know if i would feel this way if i were in other majors. i probably would because of low self-esteem and confidence. i don’t know what else i’d pursue. i was pretty good at every subject (except science. i sucked at science until i found a passion in it in college. i still think i’m only ok at it) in elementary to high school, but i never pursued one subject to be great at it. so i consider myself an average person now. i think i spent most of my time indoors reading. now i’m that weird anti-social awkward kid. i don’t know what to do… i really hate clinicals. i suck and lack confidence. i don’t know if i should waste my time and money with 2 more years or quit now and try something else.
how often did you think of quitting? do you know anyone that quit? what did they end up doing? i think of quitting every day. that bad. such a shame though. i used to be a bright kid. my school has a good nursing program and is well known for 2 other majors, but it sucks in everything else. if i quit nursing, i’ll feel stuck with a crappy degree from a crappy school. any suggestions? i have not talked to my parents about this. they do not want to hear it (really). my friends outside of the major don’t understand and tell me they think the major’s easy. thanks for reading.
I appreciate your honesty. I get straight As in my courses, love learning/research, etc. I was a biology major, and enjoyed that. But, nursing offers options, the ability to make a difference, and to opportunity to continually grow and learn.
When I was a dialysis tech, a nurse who is very wise and understood me very well told me to stick it out in nursing school. Nursing school will provide an avenue for further options. There are MANY CARING, AMAZING nurses who prefer not to work in direct care. There are nurse anesthetists, nurse researchers, instructors/professors, nurse attorneys, etc.
I do like people, I do have a passion for helping others and improving lives, but I also thrive in a research-type setting. I excel in class. Not as much in clinicals. It doesn't make me bad, it makes me unique, and I'm going to do everything in my power to use the UNIQUE me to excel as a nurse. Definitely not the same kind of nurse as my friend who can spend endless time chatting with a patient who's complaining about everything, all the while accomplishing tasks I'd rather turn my head to the entire time. She's amazing as she is. I am as I am. We're both going to be nurses, and we're great friends, just different styles.
I have an amazing, generous family. I have an adoring boyfriend who is a physician (resident). I'm blessed. Thankful always though. Spoiled? No way. I appreciate it all, and don't think that having more money than others, more gifts, more wonderful people in one's life necessarily ruins someone. Make it work for you. We all are given gifts in different ways, but spoiled is turning those gifts into negatives, and using them against yourself/humanity.
Ditto the counseling advice. Only you will know if you really want to be a nurse, but depression can get in the way of a lot of things. Does your school offer counseling? Take advantage of it! Its part of the fees at the Comm. College near here.
I think it is obvious to all of us that you are quite capable of passing the nursing program; the question is is it best for you. :icon_hug::icon_hug:
thanks for all your replies. i'm holding off talking to a counselor until the end of the school year.
clinicals are not getting better. i am too slow; i don't get everything done. all the patients i have had have been easy patients-- not that i purposely avoid the hard patients, but i pick them because their chart looks interesting. then i find out that they're already fully mobile and there aren't that many am cares that i can do. i wish i could become a better am care provider because i haven't done bedbaths and diaper changes since last quarter!!! i feel like if i go onto level 2 and don't remember this stuff, i'm gonna suck even more.
my skills have been deteriorating since last quarter. my critical thinking skills have sunken; i don't think i even try, and my instructor can tell. i'm pretty sure he thinks i'm lazy and stops asking me critical thinking questions anymore. i forget a lot about my patient-- ie recent labs. all i remember are "x" is low and "y" is high, but i have trouble remembering the value and the regulars. i miss really obvious things. for example, if the patient has difficulty breathing, i wonder why when he came in with gi diagnosis. i couldn't find anywhere on the chart stating wheezing or respiratory problems or anything. then my instructor points out in doctor's handwriting "wheezing," several times throughout notes. which i couldn't read beforehand b/c the handwriting was messy. that made me feel so stupid. it was so obvious.
i think my plan is to talk to a counselor, but i'm going to continue the program. i'm just going to wait to flunk; that way, my parents will not be mad since i didn't drop out. i'm probably going to flunk this quarter anyway, and you know what? i won't be sad. i'll just be disappointed i wasted 3 years (2 year prereq 1 year nursing). everyone will be disappointed because i was supposed to be the really smart one. i bet i could've done anything i wanted, but i have no idea what i like doing. hate business, not good with communication, hate working alone in office, but get anxious in very social environment. my parents refuse to talk about my unhappiness and my friends think i'm just being too hard on myself because "i'm the smart one." i feel very trapped and have been very unhappy, but i know i'm being selfish because so many people would die to get into this program. what a waste of money too. what saddens me as well is that patients think i'm providing them good care, but really, they just enjoy my company--anyone's company would suffice. my care is not good. my mind doesn't care. i think i want out. i can't focus in school. i sleep all the time. 5 more weeks...
thank you everyone for listening. any other advice besides talking to a counselor? i'm not sure if i want to get a job over the summer related to medical field. it can either help improve my skills and confidence level or it might make me hate it more. any advice? what was your experience like? there is not a a day anymore where i don't think about unhappiness.
I say I need more practice with AM care, but I don't really like it anyways. It seems repetitive and boring. Sure, you can do a cool full body assessment, but eh other than that it gets boring.
I wonder if I care about my patients at all. I think I don't. I'm not sure. Maybe there are moments, but those moments are few.
I think I used to be really bright but since I never focused on one subject, I never became great at one thing, so I'm not sure what I can do in life.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. You actually remind me of ME! I always doubt myself and worry that I wont be able to perform tasks in an efficient manner. I lack self confidence when I am doing something in front of someone hence why I fear clinicals. I am working on my self confidence everyday. I was very coddled as a child also. I never had to do anything for myself. Then I became a young mother and got married. I was good at being a mom. I loved taking care of my kids. I stayed at home for 14 years and raised my kids as well as everyone elses. I had a home day care. I was in my comfort zone.
I have been going through a divorce and had to "rediscover' myself.I had to find a job, move out my house, went back to school, etc. I start NS in Fall and im petrified. Im scared I wont be able to do the simplest things or I wont know something I should know! I love to learn about Medicine and I love people. I can be quite a spaz and I feel people in Nursing school are just naturals. I can compare it to mother hood though and it makes me feel better.I would think a very large percentage of new parents fear parenthood. They think they will mess up or wont know what to do . They fear the unknown.BUT usually with time, practice and a lot of patience things flow naturally and work out.
I am constantly reading or researching info because of my fear of not being able to do the Nursing skills when the time comes.I feel like I need more practice than the average person. It takes a lot for me to remember and learn something..then I forget most of it.. Coomon sense things don't come naturally to me so I know what you mean. But dont knock yourself down. No one is perfect.
I try EVERYDAY to acclimate myself to social situations where I would normally be too shy or nervous . I don't know how I am going to be able to survive clinicals with my faulty self confidence but I tell myself" I can do this" and seeing posts like yours helps me in knowing that I am not alone. So thank you for sharing and just know you CAN do whatever you put your mind to . If you are not happy you cant make your pateints happy so if you feel taht it's not for you then you should reconsider. BUt dont let fear stop you. There will always be trilas and tribulations to overcome no matter what you do .Dont focus on th enegative, look at the positive you have done..everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. keep at it..you will feel more confident as time goes. It may take a while but it will come..Good luck in your endeavors!!! and keep us posted..
If it were me, I'd take the summer off as a way to step back from the situation for awhile. It sounds like you just need some time to breathe without all the pressure of school and parents and the disappointment you seem to feel with yourself.
I dropped out of school the first time through college.... I freaked out the last year; could not figure out what I should be doing. I spoke openly to one of my instructors, and he said that dropping out was probably the first decision I had ever made for myself. Everything else I had been doing up to that point was out of obligation to others. My life blurred into everyone else's and I couldn't see clearly enough to know what was best for myself.
Fast forward 20-ish years..... and I graduate this Friday (RN). Finally, I think I know what I want to do.... where my heart is. Nobody told me.. I finally.... just.... knew.
All this to say that it really is OK not to know right now. You don't have to, and the more pressure you put on yourself to figure it all out RIGHT NOW, the worse you will feel.
I want to encourage you that you possess inside of yourself a passion for something that you will be GREAT at. Whether it's nursing or something else, it's there.
Dear OP - your story reminds me of myself and so what follows is a bit of my story as well as part of pep talk that I give myself when I feel that I'm going nowhere, have no clue, no worthwhile talents, etc.
------
I was one of the "smart ones" in my social circle. I excelled in school, teachers gave me lots of positive feedback, and I felt I was expected to do something really special and take advantage of my natural academic abilities, especially in science.
But what?! I had no special passions to pursue. So there I was, with the "ability to do anything" (according to some enthusiastic instructors and family members) and no idea what to do!! I was so afraid of "wasting" whatever opportunity it was that I supposed to be taking advantage of. How many others could only dream of having the options I had?
But that's not the point. It's not about using your skills and your life to live out someone else's dream. They can't enjoy it because it's YOUR life and you can't enjoy it because it's *not* YOUR dream. You may not have a clear-cut dream. That's OKAY. Maybe your dream for now is to know what kind of work would suit *you*. It takes time and hard work to make our dreams come true. Many people know their dreams but struggle with academics to make it happen. In my situation, I didn't have clear dream but I didn't struggle with academics. Life's not always fair and what more can we do than make the best of what we've got?
Know that there ARE lots of jobs out there and that there ARE some out there that would suit YOU... maybe not *perfectly* but *well enough* that you'd be comfortable going to work everyday and get some satisfaction from it. If that's not nursing, that's OKAY. And if you don't know where to start looking or what direction to head to find a good fit you, that's OKAY, too.
It can feel like being lost in a forest without a map and and no way of knowing which direction to head to find a road. What do you do? You take your chances and head in one direction. Eventually, you may run into a big rock wall and have to turn back. That's OKAY. Now you know what's in that direction. So then you try another direction. Maybe you lost some money. Maybe you lost some time. Maybe you lost some pride. Maybe you lost a lot of all of those. It sucks, but you wouldn't be the first and you won't be the last, and the rest of us not-so-perfect people out here will sympathize and not hold it against you, cuz we've had our own struggles, too.
Some people talk as if you should always know exactly what you want - even though you've never tried whatever that is before. How could you know *for sure* before testing the waters? We are learning as we go. You may be discovering that nursing doesn't suit you. Or you may be discovering that you need to find supportive instructors and peers who will challenge you without intimidating you. Or you may be discovering that you need to build a new social support network outside of your parents and old friends. Or you may be discovering that you dislike physical work as opposed to mental work. Or you may be discovering that while you're not happy with many things in nursing school, that there ARE parts of it that you DO like or that there WERE other jobs/classes you've done that you felt more confident and comfortable doing.
I've worked at several different jobs since graduation, some related to nursing, some not nursing but related to health care, and some not related to anything I formally studied. I've never had a prestigious, fast-track, exciting career... but I've got friends and my health (including my mental health!!!!!)... and I can pay my bills, travel some, etc. I can even afford to take classes just for fun - maybe I'll eventually find a passion?! But til then, it's a good life that I'm mostly happy with (and just see how many "successful" people AREN'T happy!!!). That's enough. Really.
And to sign off, a quote I heard attributed to Dr. Suess
It's crazy how much we sound alike on some of these things. I'm book smart as well, but when it comes to actually having to apply the material, I can't seem to do it. I didn't have any experience at all going into nursing either btw. I've never changed a diaper as well. lol.. I've caught myself walking out of a room and forgetting to gel out right away or forget to check their armband, etc. I'd come home every week bawling my head off b/c I wasn't doing good in class or clinical and thought I was the worse in my class. I noticed I started losing more hair b/c I worried myself over every little thing possible in relation to nursing school. I avoided going into patient's rooms if they had MRSA, etc., but one day I didn't realize that I picked a patient who had it and was stuck with the patient for the day... but I came to found it wasn't that bad, as long as you take the necessary precautions that you're supposed to. They're just like any of your other patients. And if you're not sure what to do, ASK. I'm shy as well. VERY VERY VERY shy. I always have been. And I get made fun of it every year in school. I can't react under emergency situations and I freaked out terribly the first time I ever had to check-off on a skill. I was so nervous, my hands trembled and I couldn't even think straight. My instructor told me that I needed to get my anxiety under control. I was the slowest in my class when it came to learning care plans, for example. The last week of my first semester is when I finally learned how to do them right. I was a spoiled kid growing up (and I still am.) I've found my boyfriend, friends, parents, etc saying that I need to gain more confidence in myself, and I do need to. I strongly believe my lack of confidence is holding me back from making my dreams a reality, and I think the same thing kind of goes for you. But maybe nursing might really not be for you? After my first semester, I started thinking how nursing really might not be for me. (That's what attracted me to this post in the first place.) I'm not 100% sure anymore that nursing is what I want to do. I'm hanging in there though b/c nursing still sounds interesting to me even if I am a slow learner, etc. I'm not giving up. Yes, I keep thinking.. What if I'm just wasting my time? It won't be the end of the world if I find out nursing isn't for me down the road though. Are you sure there aren't any other majors you might be interested in?? Maybe you should try taking a class related to whatever else you think you might be interested in. Or I'd suggest to try talking to one of your instructors you look up to. That's what they're there for. You're not the only person who has talked to them about these concerns before. Or take a little bit of time off for yourself and really contemplate on what you think is best for you.... And I know it might seem kind of silly, but I know at our school, the counselors have this test where it kind of tells you maybe what majors you should consider. See if your counselors have something like that, or even just try talking to a counselor. Look up some books at the bookstore about career choices, or books on improving self-confidence, etc. I really hope you find some help. Best of luck to you (and me) on finding our passion in life.
Dear OP - your story reminds me of myself and so what follows is a bit of my story as well as part of pep talk that I give myself when I feel that I'm going nowhere, have no clue, no worthwhile talents, etc.
------
I was one of the "smart ones" in my social circle. I excelled in school, teachers gave me lots of positive feedback, and I felt I was expected to do something really special and take advantage of my natural academic abilities, especially in science.
But what?! I had no special passions to pursue. So there I was, with the "ability to do anything" (according to some enthusiastic instructors and family members) and no idea what to do!! I was so afraid of "wasting" whatever opportunity it was that I supposed to be taking advantage of. How many others could only dream of having the options I had?
But that's not the point. It's not about using your skills and your life to live out someone else's dream. They can't enjoy it because it's YOUR life and you can't enjoy it because it's *not* YOUR dream. You may not have a clear-cut dream. That's OKAY. Maybe your dream for now is to know what kind of work would suit *you*. It takes time and hard work to make our dreams come true. Many people know their dreams but struggle with academics to make it happen. In my situation, I didn't have clear dream but I didn't struggle with academics. Life's not always fair and what more can we do than make the best of what we've got?
Know that there ARE lots of jobs out there and that there ARE some out there that would suit YOU... maybe not *perfectly* but *well enough* that you'd be comfortable going to work everyday and get some satisfaction from it. If that's not nursing, that's OKAY. And if you don't know where to start looking or what direction to head to find a good fit you, that's OKAY, too.
It can feel like being lost in a forest without a map and and no way of knowing which direction to head to find a road. What do you do? You take your chances and head in one direction. Eventually, you may run into a big rock wall and have to turn back. That's OKAY. Now you know what's in that direction. So then you try another direction. Maybe you lost some money. Maybe you lost some time. Maybe you lost some pride. Maybe you lost a lot of all of those. It sucks, but you wouldn't be the first and you won't be the last, and the rest of us not-so-perfect people out here will sympathize and not hold it against you, cuz we've had our own struggles, too.
Some people talk as if you should always know exactly what you want - even though you've never tried whatever that is before. How could you know *for sure* before testing the waters? We are learning as we go. You may be discovering that nursing doesn't suit you. Or you may be discovering that you need to find supportive instructors and peers who will challenge you without intimidating you. Or you may be discovering that you need to build a new social support network outside of your parents and old friends. Or you may be discovering that you dislike physical work as opposed to mental work. Or you may be discovering that while you're not happy with many things in nursing school, that there ARE parts of it that you DO like or that there WERE other jobs/classes you've done that you felt more confident and comfortable doing.
I've worked at several different jobs since graduation, some related to nursing, some not nursing but related to health care, and some not related to anything I formally studied. I've never had a prestigious, fast-track, exciting career... but I've got friends and my health (including my mental health!!!!!)... and I can pay my bills, travel some, etc. I can even afford to take classes just for fun - maybe I'll eventually find a passion?! But til then, it's a good life that I'm mostly happy with (and just see how many "successful" people AREN'T happy!!!). That's enough. Really.
And to sign off, a quote I heard attributed to Dr. Suess
"Be who you are and say what you feel
Because those who mind don't matter
And those who matter don't mind"
WOW! What a great post!!!:yeah::yeah::up:
I even love the quote! How 'bout my favorite quote..that'll make ya feel better too!:
From George Bernard Shaw:
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing":wink2:
Sometimes low self esteem and anxiety can cripple you. Your performance in clinicals..if it is as you say it is...is likely related to a history of low self esteem and directly related to what you are telling yourself at the time. You are your own worst critic. That came from somewhere/someone! Who? It sounds to me like clinicals basically send you into panic mode and your mind therefore gets fuzzy and you make what you call "common sense mistakes". For this, you need to get your anxiety under control and work on your self-talk. You are what you tell yourself. And you control your feelings. Of course, improving on this and changing decades of bad habits takes a lot of work. I am not there yet so really, I know how hard this can be. But I really do believe this is the root of the problem.
Because you have low self esteem or because someone in your past told you you were worthless...or because you were never allowed to develop you OWN identity..you now DO NOT TRUST YOURSELF or any decision you make. That is why making a decision is so difficult. You ask others and ask others and STILL can't make a decision. You want everyone else to tell you what to do. Believe me I know! (search my posts!)You have no confidence that you alone are capable of making the RIGHT decision for you. You have to try and trust in yourself and make the decision you think seems right at the time. Like JJJOY said..you go in one direction...if that is not right...well, then, go in the other. How else do we learn what we like/dislike or what is right for us?? Of course there is a lot more on the line in NS cuz you don't want to drop classes and drop out if you aren't *SURE* it is the right decision, right? For me, maybe I should have quit when I was a first year student like you. But I didn't. Now I have my degree but I am not any worse off. It I decide now this is not for me, well, I just go in another direction. And ignore people's comments about not using my degree (I'll just keep telling myself that Dr. Suess quote cuz I mean, how true is that??!!)
You might be depressed as well, like others stated. I was in nursing school. When you talk bad to yourself long enough all those negative feelings take over and pretty soon you want to give up. Your mind has exhausted you!!! You may also have an anxiety disorder. I do. Or be anxious AND depressed, as I was in NS. Having such a spoiled childhood as you describe can certainly lead to some issues I suppose.:chuckle
I ask you this: what makes you like patient care? Do you really like it or are you just telling yourself that you should like it if you were a good person?? I never wanted to take care of people or be the one holding so and so's hand when her mother passed away. From the very beginning I did not want this. Adverse events happened to me in nursing school that made me more sympathetic and empathetic but deep down I don't consider myself a "people person" or highly compassionate. It is not that I don't care about people....not at all...I just don't want to be the one in the middle of all that emotion. Which probably makes nursing a very poor fit in general for me. I just could not admit this to myself because admitting I had no compassion, to me, was like saying I was an Ahole..you know?:chuckle But I am just DIFFERENT, good at different things. We need people like me in this world as much as we need compassionate nurses!
I ask you about this because you state you liked reading by yourself and I get the impression you are/were kinda a loner. maybe not so much a people person. I am the same. I also excelled in school but not in clinicals. My anxiety was so high that i DID pick the easiest charts and HID when a new skill came up because I was so deathly afraid of performing in front of someone. I like working ALONE. I think I like talking to my coworkers...every now and then but there is always a limit for me. I am not a social butterfly. I want to go to work, mind my own beeswax, do a good job, and GO HOME. I don't even really know if I have to "make a difference" to feel good about things. I don't mind clocking in and out. I'd like to feel good at my job and feel confident, but I think that's it. And that is OK. It is OK that I don't feel like Mother Theresa!
Try to figure out if you really like doing what nurses do or if you just stumbled upon this career and now realize it is not all you thought it was or just not a good fit for you. I know I have an anxiety disorder and my fair share of issues but I am leaning towards nursing just being a poor choice for me. I might make a stab at it one more time but that will be it. And others say, "oh there are so many avenues in nursing..it is not just hospital nursing". Well, I beg your pardon because in order to become a research nurse or whatever you have to have a few years exp at the bedside!!! And if you hate clinical nursing, that is a freaking death sentence! it's getting through those first few years that'll open all the other doors. I guess then if you just get the degree you are better off with a BSN than, like me, an ADN!
Good luck to you! I sent you some PM's and really know how you feel, honest. There are a few of us here at all nurses that have struggled with the very same issues and know how hard it can be! Think about counseling..it may just help you realize how stinkin' your thinkin' may actually be!:chuckle
Hi girl, I feel for you because I'm dealing with the same issues as you. Like you, I'm very book smart, I ace most of my exams, but feel totally lost at clinicals. I struggle with confidence and english is my second language so I get very nervous and shy at clinicals. My last clinical instructor called me on it, she even put in my evaluations that I needed to be more confident with patients and staff. Her advice to me was to fake cofidence in clinical situations until I get more confortable.
I graduate in December with my BSN and I feel like I don't have any clinical skills, but my instructors keep assuring me most new nurses feel the same way and that you develop your skills and confidence by working and gaining experience as a nurse.
I'm also spoiled by my father, he pays for all my school expenses and give me an allowance every month, but I realize that I have to stand on my own two feet eventually, parents don't live forever, thats why I'm working so hard to get my nursing degree.
I would advice you to just stick with it if you are already in the program, you seem young so you could always pursue another profession latter on if you don't like nursing, many nurses go on to become lawyers, doctors, realtors, etc and they don't starve while pursuing those dreams.
You are very lucky that you are book smart, don't waste your God given abilities by feeling sorry for yourself too much. Changing your major isn't necessarily going to fix your problems, most professions require confidence and social skills. Like my little brother always tells me when I'm feeling sorry for myself, TOUGH IT OUT!!! THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!
wow... I can't even begin to put into words how IDENTICAL we are. In every one of your posts I felt like I was reading my own story. I too am wondering why in the world I chose nursing school - I come home from clinicals and cry, I dread even going to bed the night before clinicals because I know I will have to wake up and go to them. I am also quite socially awkward - I have trouble making friends and making conversation, and I just generally feel like I don't fit in anyone's circle. I have been told by more than one instructor that I have no confidence and really need to work on it - in fact I got an "unsatisfactory" grade in one clinical rotation because my instructor thought I couldn't manage my time and do everything I needed to do properly. That was SO MUCH of a blow to what little confidence I had, I can't even tell you.
There has been lots of good advice in this thread, and I don't think I'm very good at giving advice anyway, so I'm not going to try. BUT... I do want to say, if you still have a decision to make on this - PLEASE don't let yourself fail out! Make it YOUR decision whether you stay or go. I understand if your grades are suffering - believe me, mine are too... while other girls are breezing through with A's, I'm barely clinging to my C's. But please don't give up and let everything fall apart around you. YOU should be the one to tell THEM what you want to do with your life.
One last note, on the parents issue - mine are EXACTLY the same. I thought at first I wanted to be a pediatric nurse practitioner, and even though my ideas on that have changed dramatically, they WILL NOT let go of it. I finally broke down one day on the phone with my mom and sobbed to her that I hated nursing school, I didn't think I wanted to do it anymore, and that I wanted to look for a different major. That didn't go over well at all. BUT... my parents are finally starting to turn around. My mom is even HELPING me look for graduate programs in Anthropology, which I think is what I'd like to move towards after I graduate from nursing school. My point here is, while I know that it's terrifying to tell your parents something like this, you might be surprised by their response... even if it doesn't happen right away.
I had to think long and hard about whether I wanted to stay in nursing school or not. Please, please, please make it *your own* decision whether you stay in it or you pursue other options.
I don't know if any of this helped... I certainly hope it did. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk.
:yeah:
:up:
amjowens
486 Posts
I appreciate your honesty. I get straight As in my courses, love learning/research, etc. I was a biology major, and enjoyed that. But, nursing offers options, the ability to make a difference, and to opportunity to continually grow and learn.
When I was a dialysis tech, a nurse who is very wise and understood me very well told me to stick it out in nursing school. Nursing school will provide an avenue for further options. There are MANY CARING, AMAZING nurses who prefer not to work in direct care. There are nurse anesthetists, nurse researchers, instructors/professors, nurse attorneys, etc.
I do like people, I do have a passion for helping others and improving lives, but I also thrive in a research-type setting. I excel in class. Not as much in clinicals. It doesn't make me bad, it makes me unique, and I'm going to do everything in my power to use the UNIQUE me to excel as a nurse. Definitely not the same kind of nurse as my friend who can spend endless time chatting with a patient who's complaining about everything, all the while accomplishing tasks I'd rather turn my head to the entire time. She's amazing as she is. I am as I am. We're both going to be nurses, and we're great friends, just different styles.
I have an amazing, generous family. I have an adoring boyfriend who is a physician (resident). I'm blessed. Thankful always though. Spoiled? No way. I appreciate it all, and don't think that having more money than others, more gifts, more wonderful people in one's life necessarily ruins someone. Make it work for you. We all are given gifts in different ways, but spoiled is turning those gifts into negatives, and using them against yourself/humanity.