hi. i'm finishing my first year of nursing school. i'm not sure if i like it or not. i originally got into nursing because my parents wanted me too, but i was also interested in the subject and patient care. i don't think nursing is right for me. btw, i'm in the rn program. most of my instructors are excellent. i have great clinical instructors. here are my concerns. if anyone can help me, thanks.
1) i ace my classes. i’m book smart, but i suck with common sense in clinicals! i think it’s because i lack a lot of experience. i didn’t even know how to change a diaper until this year! l i won’t mention all the dumb mistakes (really dumb common sense errors) here or else i might be identified. i don’t know what to do in a lot of situations, but of course i won’t know what i don’t know until it happens. then i feel really stupid.
2) i make a lot of stupid errors. i still forget to id patients even though i constantly remind myself to. i think it’s because i work with the same patient all day, so i forget to id them for new procedures. i check the patient information for food and procedures outside of the room, but when i bring it into the room, i forget to id them.
3) i stopped caring. right now, 25% of the time, i love being in clinicals. 75% of the time, i hate it. i don’t know why i stopped caring, but my patients deserve better. i just get through the day now. what i like about clinicals is patient teaching, documenting (weird huh?), and physical assessments. what i hate is giving meds (afraid of errors. i do enjoy learning about meds though!); i think wounds are interesting (ie stage 4 ulcers), but really dry cracked stage 1 or 2 ulcers creep me out (weird again?)!
4) because i stopped caring, i’ll probably make an error and get into a lawsuit. i bet i’ll worry about a possible lawsuit every day of my life.
5) i always feel overwhelmed with information. i used to study so hard, but weeks later, and i forget the information. now i’m slacking off like crazy. i just lost all motivation.
6) i’m afraid of infectious diseases. i can’t remember all the microorganisms and which precautions for what. also, i know this sounds bad, but i’m actually afraid to work with aids patients. originally, i didn’t mind, but now i keep finding random cuts on my hands and arms…
7) i’m shy. i’m always nervous. i hide it, but it shows during emergencies. i’m not good with emergency situations. i guess all that indoor studying made me not have good people person skills. i’m not very social anymore.
8) i think i’m the slowest “skills” learner in my class. i mean, with 3 new skills every day, i never master the previous skills! i practice, but one two weeks later, i forget!
9) i was pretty spoiled as a kid. i don’t even know how to take the bus. therefore, it’s hard for me to be independent now. i’m really trying. (feel free to hate me over being spoiled. i would to, if i were you).
i think i’d make a terrible nurse. i don’t know if i would feel this way if i were in other majors. i probably would because of low self-esteem and confidence. i don’t know what else i’d pursue. i was pretty good at every subject (except science. i sucked at science until i found a passion in it in college. i still think i’m only ok at it) in elementary to high school, but i never pursued one subject to be great at it. so i consider myself an average person now. i think i spent most of my time indoors reading. now i’m that weird anti-social awkward kid. i don’t know what to do… i really hate clinicals. i suck and lack confidence. i don’t know if i should waste my time and money with 2 more years or quit now and try something else.
how often did you think of quitting? do you know anyone that quit? what did they end up doing? i think of quitting every day. that bad. such a shame though. i used to be a bright kid. my school has a good nursing program and is well known for 2 other majors, but it sucks in everything else. if i quit nursing, i’ll feel stuck with a crappy degree from a crappy school. any suggestions? i have not talked to my parents about this. they do not want to hear it (really). my friends outside of the major don’t understand and tell me they think the major’s easy. thanks for reading.
