hi. i'm finishing my first year of nursing school. i'm not sure if i like it or not. i originally got into nursing because my parents wanted me too, but i was also interested in the subject and patient care. i don't think nursing is right for me. btw, i'm in the rn program. most of my instructors are excellent. i have great clinical instructors. here are my concerns. if anyone can help me, thanks.
1) i ace my classes. i’m book smart, but i suck with common sense in clinicals! i think it’s because i lack a lot of experience. i didn’t even know how to change a diaper until this year! l i won’t mention all the dumb mistakes (really dumb common sense errors) here or else i might be identified. i don’t know what to do in a lot of situations, but of course i won’t know what i don’t know until it happens. then i feel really stupid.
2) i make a lot of stupid errors. i still forget to id patients even though i constantly remind myself to. i think it’s because i work with the same patient all day, so i forget to id them for new procedures. i check the patient information for food and procedures outside of the room, but when i bring it into the room, i forget to id them.
3) i stopped caring. right now, 25% of the time, i love being in clinicals. 75% of the time, i hate it. i don’t know why i stopped caring, but my patients deserve better. i just get through the day now. what i like about clinicals is patient teaching, documenting (weird huh?), and physical assessments. what i hate is giving meds (afraid of errors. i do enjoy learning about meds though!); i think wounds are interesting (ie stage 4 ulcers), but really dry cracked stage 1 or 2 ulcers creep me out (weird again?)!
4) because i stopped caring, i’ll probably make an error and get into a lawsuit. i bet i’ll worry about a possible lawsuit every day of my life.
5) i always feel overwhelmed with information. i used to study so hard, but weeks later, and i forget the information. now i’m slacking off like crazy. i just lost all motivation.
6) i’m afraid of infectious diseases. i can’t remember all the microorganisms and which precautions for what. also, i know this sounds bad, but i’m actually afraid to work with aids patients. originally, i didn’t mind, but now i keep finding random cuts on my hands and arms…
7) i’m shy. i’m always nervous. i hide it, but it shows during emergencies. i’m not good with emergency situations. i guess all that indoor studying made me not have good people person skills. i’m not very social anymore.
8) i think i’m the slowest “skills” learner in my class. i mean, with 3 new skills every day, i never master the previous skills! i practice, but one two weeks later, i forget!
9) i was pretty spoiled as a kid. i don’t even know how to take the bus. therefore, it’s hard for me to be independent now. i’m really trying. (feel free to hate me over being spoiled. i would to, if i were you).
i think i’d make a terrible nurse. i don’t know if i would feel this way if i were in other majors. i probably would because of low self-esteem and confidence. i don’t know what else i’d pursue. i was pretty good at every subject (except science. i sucked at science until i found a passion in it in college. i still think i’m only ok at it) in elementary to high school, but i never pursued one subject to be great at it. so i consider myself an average person now. i think i spent most of my time indoors reading. now i’m that weird anti-social awkward kid. i don’t know what to do… i really hate clinicals. i suck and lack confidence. i don’t know if i should waste my time and money with 2 more years or quit now and try something else.
how often did you think of quitting? do you know anyone that quit? what did they end up doing? i think of quitting every day. that bad. such a shame though. i used to be a bright kid. my school has a good nursing program and is well known for 2 other majors, but it sucks in everything else. if i quit nursing, i’ll feel stuck with a crappy degree from a crappy school. any suggestions? i have not talked to my parents about this. they do not want to hear it (really). my friends outside of the major don’t understand and tell me they think the major’s easy. thanks for reading.
thanks for all your replies. i'm holding off talking to a counselor until the end of the school year. .
why are you waiting to see a counselor? it seems to be the thing that has the greatest chance of making the biggest difference.
you're young, and i think it's pretty rare for a young person to really know what they want, because they often don't know themselves yet (not meaning to blast anyone, this is just my opinion). if you could work with a counselor, they can help you start on that process. this way you can find out who you are, not who everyone thinks you are.
Try some career counseling through your school - don't be afraid to because of the word "counseling" either. You can take all these career tests that give you some insight, and it's just really good to talk to someone honestly about all your concerns without fear of judgment you get from friends and family. I have really bad confidence and self-esteem issues too, and they help you with that too. I was terrified (still kinda am) of making mistakes and being a horrible nurse, but I'm getting through school and learning, and everyone in the program is in the same boat. Some know a little more, some less, but we're all gonna get there. Whatever career you end up in, make sure it's something you think you could be happy in. (And also, if you continue with nursing and don't love a certain area of it, there's tons of opportunities - chances are you'll find something.) Best of luck to you!
Man are you hard on yourself! You have done alot to get in your position. Don't throw it all away because of feelings of discouragement. You sound a lot like me and that is advice people have given me over the years and I have learned the hard way, because I am a very emotional person. If I were you I would keep plugging away because you are half way done, and you can decide after you grad what to do with your degree. As a nurse you can do so many things, even things that might have no direct patient contact. But I bet you will be great, just keep on practicing.
Did you decide to stay in your program? Are you doing better in clinicals? I am having really bad anxiety and I am so nervous when I think about clinicals? Do you have any tips for me? Thanks and I hope things are going wonderful for you no matter what you decied to do!!!!!!:redbeathe
If you liked nursing before you went to school, just remember that this is just a few years of your life, just like highschool. Highschool sucked because all I did was study, but it has an end.
You sound just like me. But you can do it. Stop feeling like you're falling short of perfect. That is an unreasonable expectation for anyone. Just focus on being the best you can be. Your best is good enough. You are good enough.
**I listen to Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" every morning on my way to clinical or whenever I need to chill or when I lose faith in myself. Because really like Bob says "Don't worry, about a thing, cuz every little thing, is gonna be alright..."
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I think you need to talk to a trusted advisor about your concerns, also I agree that you are showing signs of depression and having these negative feelings constantly weighing on you is very unhealthy. You will not be able to make a good decision in this mind set. I think you are strong because you were able to open up to us, many would hide these feelings and press on.
In the end, you need to focus on you, doing what makes you happy and only you. Never settle!
I'll just be disappointed I wasted 3 years (2 year prereq 1 year nursing). Everyone will be disappointed because I was supposed to be the really smart one. I bet I could've done anything I wanted, butI have no idea what I like doing. Hate business, not good with communication, hate working alone in office, but get anxious in very social environment. I feel very trapped and have been very unhappy, but I know I'm being selfish because so many people would die to get into this program. ...I can't focus in school. I sleep all the time.
My god... this part reminds me SO MUCH of myself. The way you think too - "If I can't do little things, how can I handle bigger things?" I had issues with focusing too and sleeping all the time. I had issues with anxiety and being in social situations, yet at the same time I hated being isolated from everyone and everything. However my problems were so bad that they messed up my academic progress and I had to end up dropping out of nursing school. Now I am afraid I will not be able to get back in because I had some bad grades in general education courses.. for the most part my pre-reqs were good.
For the most part I feel that if I was just given the chance to get back into nursing school, I would be able to excel in the classroom and do well in clinicals and be a good nurse. Sometimes I really feel like nursing would be a great fit for me and I am cut out for it. And then there are other times where I feel a lot like you, where I really doubt my abilities. I wasn't fortunate enough to have clinical experience but I took health assessment and I was a little slower with learning skills than some others and I doubted my abilities at times. I bet if I was in a clinical situation and not understanding things right away I might feel the way you do too. Hell, I feel incompetent on a daily basis being at home.
Sorry I went off on a tangent there. Reading this post made me think a lot, though.. the way you think reminds me so much of myself. I don't have as much experience as some of the other people who have responded to you nor is my post as helpful.. but I just wanted you to know that I am really routing for you. I've been there too with the depression and lack of confidence. I hope all goes well for you and that whatever happens makes you happy. Hang in there and best of luck. :loveya:
I had a lot of those negative feelings too when I attended nursing school but you know what I did it and now realise that my anxiety was getting the best of me, which was contributing to my negative thinking. Now that I actually pulled through and made it with anxiety and the lack of confidence, I realised that I am really smart and intelligent...it was just the way I was thinking during the process in which I'm not what I thought which can affect your performance to an extent. You can get through nursing school and when you do, you'll realise that it was just "thoughts". You are intelligent, and you made it this far, and had to work very hard to. Good luck.:wink2:
wow i can really relate to you in so many ways. i was also in nursing school and quit last fall. i had the same fears as you, feeling as though i was gonna kill somebody on accident and end up in jail or something. i was very forgetful and felt like i could NEVER retain all of the info from school. i also got made fun of a little bit, just by friends jokingly, because i was a little slower learning than the rest of my classmates. i was also very spoiled growing up, what am i saying i still am and im 30! but hey, everybody has insecurities but you just can't let it get the best of you. i am actually gonna go back to school and give it another shot. if you don't think you like it, that's one thing. figure out what it is that YOU want out of life and not what your parents or anyone else wants. but the main thing is, please dont be like i was and just give up. you might regret it because i definately have. and remember YOU CAN DO ANYTHING THAT YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO!!!! ANYTHING! and dont ever forget that. dont give up on yourself and have faith in yourself that you can do this. shoot i might end up making some mistakes but thats what life is all about...its a learning experience. you will do fine just dont give up ever. good luck with everything
keldel...you are exactly right. I just started at Charity..I see you are from new orleans. Is that where you were? I have my insecurities and doubt myself till there's no tomorrow. Im the type of person that cant unlock a door with a key if I feel someone is watching me do it. I will feel they will think Im doing it wrong and I get nervous and make it all worse. I love to care for people and want to make a difference, so at times I feel Im in thr right place. Nursing school has just started for me so it's too hard to tell if I will be too intimidated. I fear Clinicals because of th ereasons I just spoke of. I also am very complascent and sometimes timid and Im afrais clinicals will kill me.
I haven't read all the posts, just your first one. That being said, I think that you're very mature, insightful, and wise to have these concerns. I see many people who decide to go into nursing or med school without really considering what it will entail and to adequately prepare themselves for it. I myself had (and continue to have) times where I doubt my decision - more specifically if I will be able to emotionally handle all the pain, suffering, and tragedy that I will inevitably see. I haven't come to terms with it 100% yet and I think it will be an ongoing thing for me. Doubt and self-reflection is a sign of insightfullness and wisdom. I'd be scared of healthcare professionals who haven't grappled with these issues.
Also, like others have said - seek some counseling. It is great to just talk things through. Extreme amounts of stress compounded by other life stressers can trigger depression which is a serious but very treatable illness. It takes a strong person to go out and get help.
CuriousMe
2,642 Posts
why are you waiting to see a counselor? it seems to be the thing that has the greatest chance of making the biggest difference.
you're young, and i think it's pretty rare for a young person to really know what they want, because they often don't know themselves yet (not meaning to blast anyone, this is just my opinion). if you could work with a counselor, they can help you start on that process. this way you can find out who you are, not who everyone thinks you are.
best of luck!!
peace,
curiousme