Quit or be fired?

kat911 · Feb 7, 2005

Wendy there is a principle called greater need. It is one of the few things a nurse can claim if she must leave a patient care area understaffed. You might consider filing a complaint against your facility for wrongful discharge. You can file with the Equal Employement Opportunity Commission. If you need to apply for unemployment benefits they are the ones to talk to about this situation. EEOC will assess if you had a legitimate need to remain where you were, with your kids. Sounds like you meet the standard for greater need.

StrbryJelo · Feb 7, 2005

I've been in nursing for not quite 28 yrs. & I'm sorry to say it took me several of those years to realize my family should come before my job/patients. Even with short staffing there is someone to look after patients. I've spent a weekend snowed in at work. There deffinately wasn't enough of us or beds to go around. We took turns sleeping 4hr. here and there. Did I envy those at home? You betcha. Did I resent them? No Way. And yes, I had small children then and they were with their father. Now I'm a widow with grown kids, but still have a 13y/o at home. I would call in in a heart beat if the choice was her safety or going to work. I agree with so many others that your kids are too young to leave alone for days even in good weather. Also, unlike the Canadian responder, I don't think we baby our kids instead of teaching them responsibility. You teach a lot of things by showing, not just telling. Leaving your kids alone in bad/potentially dangerous weather doesn't show them the importance of family or taking responsibility for your kids. It tells them a job and strangers are more important to you. I don't know about other states, but here in Ga. Fam. & Children's services will get you for neglect for leaving kids these ages alone for this time frame.

Good luck to you,

Mick

PMHNP10 · Feb 7, 2005

Not much I can add that other reasonable, rational posters haven't already stated other than I'm sure you won't have any problem finding a job--in fact, you probably already have found one. And remember, you were looking for a job when you found your previous one.

LINUS · Feb 7, 2005

Not to sound harsh, but speaking for the other side, I work midnights and was working the night of a huge snowstorm (17 inches) and when I got off in the morning after working 12 hours, only two day nurses showed up for work, which meant we were required to stay until more staffing could come in. Most of us stayed until 11am, some later. Half of the day nurses that didn't show up called in before the snow even started falling. The other half didn't even attempt to drive it. Yeah, snow sucks and having kids at home sucks, but it also sucks to have to work for hours after your regularly scheduled shift because the next shift of nurses just didn't want to risk it.

I have been with the same company for 4 years and have NEVER called out b/c of snow/ice storms. This weekend my two kids ages 16 and 12 will have to be alone while I'm at work and its a pretty sure thing I'll be snowed in for the whole weekend. My work is a 45 minute drive and I just feel like it's dangerous to leave them alone. I'm a single mom and usually I have a back-up plan and a second back-up plan but these have fallen through. I called and talked to my DON (the staffing nurse was fired - no warning :uhoh21: ) and she insists I have to come in no matter what. Again, I have NEVER called out on account of the weather...this is more of a child-care issue. We used to be able to bring our kids to work but that is now against the rules. In fact, besides people coming in to work not knowing they'd been fired there have been a lot of other things going on with this new administration I don't like. My question is, do I quit without giving a notice or do I let them fire me? I've been with them for 4 years and that is a large chunk of my work history.

cxyr · Feb 7, 2005

poor Wendy: :crying2:

I can understand your feeling. Because I have a 10 year old daughter, my husband is working on daytime, so I have to work on 12 hour night shift in order to take care of her for winter, summer vacation and other school day off. Even I know it is not good for health. I trained my daughter how to deal with some emergency such as fire alarm, not anwser phone or door knocking before I came home. You have 16 and 12 years old kids, don't worry too much, they are big enough and they stay together, can help each other. Actually, you are lucky than me, I only have one daughter. So, try to tell them some tips for dealing with emergency, call them from work (not too frenquently) to make sure they are OK and give them some direction when they call you from home. Remember you must be calm down no matter what happen. Of course, you should let your DON know your situation, then he/she can understand your calling from work.

Good Luck

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Feb 7, 2005

Your children come first! I totally agree that you did the right thing for your children. I would not have left my children at home alone during an ice/snow storm. If my employer could not understand my situation then I don't think I would want to work for them anyway. You proved yourself for 4 years as a good and dependable employee, that speaks volumes in itself. In the future, I think it's better to lie and say that you're sick. I used to be totally honest about call-ins but found that sometimes it's better to be not so honest.

As for being stuck and having to work for those nurses who didn't show up. I've done that many times and have always gotten over it. The hospital appreciated it, the patients certainly appreciated it and when all was said and done, I got plenty of sleep and the ones who didn't show up, when they could have, were the ones ultimately not promoted or got very low percentage pay raises. Bad weather and working over is just part of our chosen profession. We could have been school teachers.

BTW, I know this happened 3 weeks ago, are you in a new job yet? How are things going? Let us know.

mattsmom81 · Feb 7, 2005

I have to say I am shocked at so many of the nurses that think a 16 and 12 year old child would be okay alone for a weekend during a weather emergency.

Me too...too many variables...the maturity level, isolation factor, lack of close by resources/family...this is all very individual and I don't know how some here can generalize it would be OK. Each parent has to make their own unique decision about their own unique children..

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 7, 2005

Me too...too many variables...the maturity level, isolation factor, lack of close by resources/family...this is all very individual and I don't know how some here can generalize it would be OK. Each parent has to make their own unique decision about their own unique children..

perhaps, but they better check laws. in some places it's not even LEGAL.

HarryPotter · Feb 7, 2005

Years ago, when I was a house mother for court ordered kids in a chidcare facility, I was called at 2 am because of some trouble in the unit. At the time, I had two kids age 9 and 11, and was single. I called in my staff and had them go, as I was not willing to leave my kids alone. That same week, I talked with my boss and gave my notice as I knew I would not leave my kids alone. I think u did the right thing.

SassKatt · Feb 7, 2005

I'm sorry, but children 12 & 16 are too young to be left at home by themselves with a bad storm coming in. There is the very real possibility that you would not be able to return home after your shift due to the weather. I more than once was forced to remain at work over a period of 2 days due to ice and closed roads.

If your employer does not understand that the safety of children should be your first concern in that instance, then they are not an employer that I would remain with.

Who is going to make the decisions if the power goes out for an extended period of time as often happens. Phone lines generally go down also leaving you no way to communicate with your family.

I emphaticly state you should closely monitor the weather and call prior to the designated call in time and inform them of your inability to come in based on the above reasons.

There will be people that do not have to get home that can cover. We worked 4 hours on and 4 off for 2 days and survived and the kids in the ICU got great care.

hello_nurse_mel · Feb 7, 2005

Thank you Jolie, Triage and everybody whose been understanding about me being worried about my kids. Yep, I didn't get to talk to the DON but the administrator picked up the phone and when I got done explaining all of this to her, her response was "I'm shocked to hear you say this". She also said that they don't except call-ins for predicted weather and that if I have a problem tomorrow then I'll have to call in tomorrow. Basically, "I'm going to ignore your call in and let the weekend staff AND the residents suffer."

yuor last conversation says it all (time for a new job) family comes first. don't let them make you feel guilty. follow your instincts. REASONABLE employers will understand weather-related emergencies where children are concerned. chances are the DON & administrator either don't have children or they're not the primary caregivers. good luck.

_________________

we the willing are led by the unknowing doing the impossible for the ungrateful. we have been doing so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

z's playa · Feb 7, 2005

poor Wendy:
I can understand your feeling. Because I have a 10 year old daughter, my husband is working on daytime, so I have to work on 12 hour night shift in order to take care of her for winter, summer vacation and other school day off. Even I know it is not good for health. I trained my daughter how to deal with some emergency such as fire alarm, not anwser phone or door knocking before I came home. You have 16 and 12 years old kids, don't worry too much, they are big enough and they stay together, can help each other. Actually, you are lucky than me, I only have one daughter. So, try to tell them some tips for dealing with emergency, call them from work (not too frenquently) to make sure they are OK and give them some direction when they call you from home. Remember you must be calm down no matter what happen. Of course, you should let your DON know your situation, then he/she can understand your calling from work.
Good Luck

Hello neighbour! I noticed you're from Toronto. Fun weather huh? :chuckle Warm, cold, rain, sleet. Growing up with this weather, I was taught along with all my classmates and friends how to deal with bad weather and actually...get this..take care of our parents and younger siblings should anything happen to them. At the age of 15. Police officers would come into the classroom with the fire department and give little lectures if you will on basic survival skills should we ever need to take care of ourselves.Stuff like cell phone use (in case of power outage), what not to do...what to expect...you get the idea. And I dont live in the Great White North ...well not THAT North..lol) We never thought for a moment that we were being neglected or anything. We were being treated as responsible people. Our parents never wanted to leave us but sometimes it was necessary. That doesnt make them bad parents. I dont get why so many are shocked. Shocking would be leaving a 10 year old with an 8 year old. If I were to go to the Sahara..I'm sure there would be a 12 year old that could teach me a thing or two about surviving a sand storm. Maybe its really all about where you live. :)

I also feel as personal opinion only..that we as parents project our fear or what we fear..onto our children..sometimes...... and assume they feel the same way, when in truth,,they surprise us in the end with their bravery.

But thats just me.

I hope the OP is getting on ok.

God bless.

Z