Plz read!!! Nurse using drugs what should i do???

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I have a friend, not a best friend but close enough to where she trusts me with her personal information and lifestyle,

When I decided to leave my engineering job, after careful consideration I decided on nursing. This is when red flags started to go up for me.

This friend I have - she is a HEAVY DAILY marijuana user. She has even told me that she "HAS" to (yes, as in - she believes it is absolutely necessary for functionality) smoke before she goes to work - excuse me, before she DRIVES HERSELF TO WORK in the wee hours of the morning.

This is only part of my problem with the situation.

Now, I live in a moderate size house with one child and my husband. Everyday we STILL feel like there is always something more we can do for him. You know, corners to cut so our son can have more. This friend has two birthed children and one on the way. She lives in a small questionable apartment complex, in a two bedroom apartment. Her infant in the crib is sleeping in her room and her son has his own small room. They live here because it is all she can afford. Her husband doesn't work. Now, my friend, she is pregnant with her THIRD child within a 3 year period and claims constantly that this is even MORE REASON TO SMOKE IF NOT SMOKE MORE!!! She tells me, I tried to quit smoking for a day and I just felt really sick so I HAD TO SMOKE... )=

My internal response to this? WELCOME TO BEING PREGNANT!!!!!

I can't lie or be a hypocrite, I smoked when I met her 2 years ago - I have quit since then, obviously. I am not against LEGITIMATE medicinal use, but NOT for common recreation. She tells me that they spend over $1000 a month, sometimes exceeding $1500 a month on marijuana alone. She used to make fun of me for worrying about spending $100 for marijuana in six weeks by saying "Thats all?!?hahaha" I understand the misconception of a person hidden in the fog that "marijuana is safe and is illegal for -dot dot dot - fill in the blank with a million self righteous statements.... I know that it feels like it can be okay to do when you are doing it. When I quit I felt so guilty for having smoked for the amount of time that I did - for the money and time it had cost me. I have tried EVERY conceivable way possible to express my concern to her about this and I have actually cut off communication with her because of this. But this post isn't about me...

It is about the trouble I am having making a responsible decision.

Here are the facts - some are only opinion but this is what I am weighing: (not necessarily in order of importance because I am not sure what order they should be in!!!!)

1.) I believe strongly that the amount of money she spends on this drug is considered child abuse via financial neglect to her responsibility of being a parent with financial capability and means

2.) I am afraid she may wreck her car driving so early in the morning while stoned - no matter how in control she feels.

3.) She is dishonoring her oath she took as a nurse - this is very dishonorable no matter how you look at it

4.) She is in denial about her use in MANY MANY aspects and will not hear reason or logic

5.) She will quit long enough for a urinalysis but thats all she is "capable" of doing - I am saddened (and shocked) she doesn't feel the guilt of not being sober during these periods - what does this speak to her mission as a nurse?

6.) She claims she is seeking a PhD in medicinal marijuana research for therapy in particular for pregnant women.

7.) She is living at poverty level because of her expense for marijuana.

8.) If I report her she loses her license and cannot provide for her family.

9.) SHE MAY KILL SOMEONE OR NOT SAVE SOMEONE (SAME DIFFERENCE??) IN THEIR TIME OF NEED FOR HER HELP!!!!! I WOULDN'T WANT A STONED NURSE!!!!!

10.) Science hasn't dictated whether or not marijuana is harmful to an unborn baby - but why is she risking it?!? I want her to stop really bad for this reason!!! (amongst others of course)

So - what would YOU do? I am very concerned for her well being, though, I am an honorable person and want to keep ignorant mistakes that could be prevented from happening. I mean, what if I save many peoples lives before becoming a nurse by preventing her from killing someone or preventing a good nurse from caring for this friend's current patients. Does any of this make sense. I have worked myself up so badly on occasion over the matter that I begin to cry my heart out. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want her to hurt someone else. I am not a whistle blower type, but I feel wrong for not doing anything. She has no support and is as nice and honest as anyone could ever be. She would never hurt anyone intentionally, and loves her family. I think she is really psychologically addicted to marijuana and needs help...

Someone - anyone - if you made it this far in my rant , please help me by sharing your opinions or similar experiences. This is a very very big problem for me.

EDIT: I have not claimed to want to report her for anything - I simply am trying to determine if inaction is wrongful. This is a situation that is close to me and I wonder if I am too close to make a reasonable judgment. I am not being overtly opinionated about any of my facts, I am just merely including the items that I think hold weight in it.

Before you decide to report her, in this particular situation, I would, personally, weigh heavily on the consequences of any potential actions you can choose from.

Always wise to contemplate potential consequences of our actions.

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If, after giving it a lot of thoughtful consideration, you do decide to act, I would probably let her employer know vs BON. That way, her employer can request a random drug screen and take appropriate action dependent on results. If screen is negative, BON need never get involved.

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Specializes in chemical dependency detox/psych.

Honestly, here is what I think:

If you truly feel she's working impaired, then make an anonymous phone call to her employer and tell them your suspicions. They can always do a random drug screen.

If you believe that she's neglecting her kids (and I'm not just speaking of her spending too much on MJ)--I mean true child neglect--call CPS.

Otherwise, it's truly not any of your business.

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Specializes in ICU, CC.

it is definitely not a question IF shes going to work impaired.. She is openly proud of it... I am not attempting to claim she is neglecting her children - My point was that along with many other benefits she could have a life that she and her children are much more deserving of if she weren't smoking. As I stated I am not so much interested in reporting her for anything - I just have a nagging feeling like doing NOTHING is the wrong thing to do. Just trying to get others to weigh in since this is a personal matter I wonder if my opinion is skewed.

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Specializes in chemical dependency detox/psych.
it is definitely not a question IF shes going to work impaired.. She is openly proud of it... I am not attempting to claim she is neglecting her children - My point was that along with many other benefits she could have a life that she and her children are much more deserving of if she weren't smoking. As I stated I am not so much interested in reporting her for anything - I just have a nagging feeling like doing NOTHING is the wrong thing to do. Just trying to get others to weigh in since this is a personal matter I wonder if my opinion is skewed.

Well, then, since her impairment at work is so very evident to you, why don't you, in the words of my Dad, "**** or get off the pot." Stop being so wishy-washy and DO THE RIGHT THING.

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Specializes in ICU, CC.

I am not sure I completely relate, but I do genuinely appreciate your input!! Thanks! This helps me make an educated decision with the fog of my personal involvement

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Specializes in neurotrauma ICU.

professionally: she needs to be reported. her management or BON. She's an impaired nurse.

personally: yeah, she sounds like a crappy mom and kind of a loser, but I don't know if any of those things are considered neglect. If I were you, I would distance myself from her. She does not sound like someone I would want my kids to be around. I do feel sorry for her kiddos, though.

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If you have a nagging feeling that doing nothing is the wrong thing to do why haven't you done something? Our opinions professional or personal don't matter. If you think the children are neglected or endangered you need to contact child protective services. You should not expect however to remain her friend or be seen as a hero.

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.
Well, then, since her impairment at work is so very evident to you, why don't you, in the words of my Dad, "**** or get off the pot." Stop being so wishy-washy and DO THE RIGHT THING.

Drink alert!!!

And I thought this was going to be a long and quiet night. Thanks to your Dad, you have just made my night.

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Specializes in ED.

What would I do? I really only know what I have done.

A dear friend confided in me that she was shooting up narcotics at work. I was devastated, to say the least. Much like your friend, she was crying for help. Your friend clearly knows she has lost control & is risking more than she bargained for.

One thing I learned when I called the board of nursing (BON) was that if my friend turned herself in she would be offered the option of seeking treatment (with support from the BON) & may be eligible to resume work after a probation period. However, if she was caught she would be fired on the spot & possibly lose her license.

I told my friend what her options were and that I would be calling her manager to confirm that she had turned herself in. She chose to go straight to her manager & she received help.

You may want to contact the BON and see if the same rules apply for other drug abuse at work. You may also want to check out the multiple threads on Allnurses posted by addicted nurses.

May the force be with you

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When she goes go to have her baby she'll get a drug screen. If she tests positive then the baby will get a urine and meconium screen. If the baby is positive CPS will be notified. (Not that they'll do anything.) If she has an accident on the way to work and hurts herself or someone else she'll get tested and possibly face jail time. If she harms someone at work she'll be tested, fired, and lose her licence. My point is eventually she will be caught whether you turn her in or not. But how will you feel if she is caught through some disaster?

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Specializes in geriatrics.

I have an issue with anyone taking drugs on the job, period. Or right before work, and this is any job, not just nursing. It really lacks professionalism. I had a friend who was doing coke through most of nursing school, but she ended up having enough sense and guts to drop the program and go to rehab, thankfully. So I can understand some of your dilemma, as a friend. I guess you have to make the decision about what to do.

In the end, I wished my friend well, and we went our separate ways. I was tired of her lying to me, and I was not comfortable with even remotely being put in an awkward position by her, especially when she admitted going to clinicals high. While nursing does not involve an "oath", we do have a responsibility to the patients and the employer, IM0...

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