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Plucking a mental daisy

Posted

So I went to nursing school with the idea of becoming an employed nurse to support my family better while doing something I love. I got a job right away at well known, respected hospital. Lust like most would do I packed up the family 60 miles away to be close to the job. I love my job, my facility, my unit and coworkers. I've been working for 1.5 years now. I'm unhappy on my days off. I'm lonely. I miss my family and friends. I miss the house we lived in. Just about every day I have an energy in my core that wants to move home n commute.

The commute woud be 60 miles about an hour and a half. I'd do it three days a week.

I can decided if giving up a house that is "alright" and in an area that I haven't met any friends (its been 1.5 years) but has a twenty minute communte to work.

Any input would be appreciated.

I hear ya! I relocated for a job and I hate it. Very lonely. My only friend is the guy at Starbucks, he totally brightens my day. Its also created an expensive coffee habit. I left my home and dragged my family here and now the hubby landed a great new job here. Now I hate mine and want to leave but I am trapped. At least you have a job you love, that is something to hang onto!

Is there a way you could move halfway? Like closer to your old social network and fav haunts, but not a total 1.5 hour drive? Do you work 12's? That would be an awful commute home after a 12. Is your old home available? Did you sell or rent?

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

This is like Superman's Bizzaro World.

I, too, live far from work. I have no friends or family.

Here's the diff: I love it. As Henry David Thoreau said, "I've found nothing more companionable than solitude."

So. Here's my input: Get used to it or change it.

Dave

I can possibly go back to the old house, it hasnt been rented.

tyvin, BSN, RN

Specializes in Hospice / Psych / RNAC.

I use to commute because I wouldn't move into the city because of the kids. School, environment etc...need I say more anyway............my commute was > an hour and I loved the commute. I made it my time and got an extensive music collection and enjoyed the ride.

If you miss it that much I don't know what you're waiting for.

This is like Superman's Bizzaro World.

I, too, live far from work. I have no friends or family.

Here's the diff: I love it. As Henry David Thoreau said, "I've found nothing more companionable than solitude."

So. Here's my input: Get used to it or change it.

Dave

Aw, Dave...Where's the love??? I thought we were ALL friends, here.............

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

Aw, Dave...Where's the love??? I thought we were ALL friends, here.............

Sorry, greenfiremajick. And an apology to you, too, Student2Registered, if I was taken as being unempathetic.

I read "Any input would be appreciated" and took it at face value. Tough Love. Say what you believe the Individual needs to hear. Even if it hurts.

Sorry.

(Down in the Dumps) Dave

Edited by Davey Do

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN

Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management. Has 14 years experience.

S2R-

Move back. It is want you want deep down. You would be happier, and you seem to be good at looking at both sides of your dilemma. Follow what your heart tells you.

itsmejuli

Specializes in Home Care.

I've spent the majority of my adult life living far from home and relocating every few years. I've actually been in the same location now for 6 years. My family is 3400 miles away, including my children.

Making new friends takes time and effort. How much contact do you have with your coworkers? Have you joined a gym? Do you participate in hobbies or activities?

I did the same thing--moved a hour and half away. I was lonely for my old job and went back and worked part time after several months. There were new people there with the old ones. The new ones thought at first when I was new that I didn't know anything and would start out trying to teach me. I had to keep telling them that I knew because I had worked there several years. That was frustrating. It wasn't the same and I quit after awhile. I feel that a person has to stay in a new area for at least 2 years before they are comfortable. Now, I wouldn't go back. I love this area and I still see my relatives often. Sometimes more than I did when we lived in the same area.

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 8 years experience.

Try waking up at whatever time you would have to get up to be at work on time. Do this for at least a week, preferably more. It may change your perspective ;)

My commute is about 55 minutes each way, but I only work 8 hour days, except for a random late meeting here and there. I could not imagine that long of a commute working 12s.

Tina, RN

Specializes in Acute Care, CM, School Nursing. Has 20 years experience.

I think you should look into relocating to halfway in between. That commute would be very rough after a 12 hour shift...

Queen2u

Specializes in Postpartum, L&D, Mother-Baby. Has 7 years experience.

I'm there with ya!!!!!! Moved halfway across the country for a job, all alone!!!!! I have lived with family my whole life, then I moved 4 states away to live alone!!!!!! Cried like a baby the first 2 weeks, :crying2: then I met others who worked at the hospital who had also traveled from miles away; we had lots in common right there!!!!! These people have become my family, and I try to spend as much time as possible with them outside of work so that I could have a social life. It's difficult, but in these days and times, these are the breaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, greenfiremajick. And an apology to you, too, Student2Registered, if I was taken as being unempathetic.

I read "Any input would be appreciated" and took it at face value. Tough Love. Say what you believe the Individual needs to hear. Even if it hurts.

Sorry.

(Down in the Dumps) Dave

Dave-

I enjoy reading your posts, but I guess my sarcasm and gentle chiding did not "read through" (so to speak...or type) in my post..... I was just giving you a hard time! :yeah:

Ruby Vee, BSN

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching. Has 40 years experience.

i loved my job, my house, my neighborhood, my friends and my lifestyle. then i had to give it up and move 3,000 miles for family reasons. i like my new house, my neighborhood is ok and the job is a job -- some days i love it, other days i hate it. i'd move back in a heartbeat, but the family situation hasn't changed and we're stuck here. it took a good two years to feel like this area is where i actually live, but you get out of it what you put into it. the more i put into it, the more i get out of it.

kids grow up and leave home, parents get old and die, friends get married and move away and spouses may leave you. wherever you go, you're stuck with you. it is truly an asset to be able to make yourself happy wherever you wind up.

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

Dave-

I enjoy reading your posts, but I guess my sarcasm and gentle chiding did not "read through" (so to speak...or type) in my post..... I was just giving you a hard time!

greenfiremajick-

I'm really glad you enjoy reading my posts.

I was merely responding to your playful chiding. Your sarcasm was well placed. And, besides, I could have really sounded insensitive, when I was merely attempting to be direct: Make a decicision- Learn to like your situation or leave it.

So, I over-compensated to your post by aplogizing profusely.

And, I also let you know that I appreciated your post by giving you a kudo.

Hey- you're O.K. in my book! And, thanks for the clarification.

Dave

Edited by Davey Do