Please help me convince my wife that she needs to return to nursing school...

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Specializes in NICU, Psych, Med/Onc,Ped Home Health.

hello to all my fellow nurses out there....

i have a problem, and i am wondering if anyone out there has gone through a similar experience.

first, a little introduction to my problem...

my wife was in the nursing program at our local community college a few years back. she was doing really well and was living her dream to one day become a nurse. the problem was that her ex-husband was not supportive at all and did not understand how much time and dedication it takes to get through nursing school. she was juggling home life, plus taking care of her 2 teenage and 1 elementary age daughters, plus going to school full-time, and was doing well. however, on one particular day, she told me that her ex got so upset about the fact that all she did was study with her group (he even accused her of having numerous affairs on the side and that the study groups were just an excuse to get out of the house) that on one clinical day morning he made her 5 minutes late to her clinicals. the nursing instructor would not allow my wife to attend the clinicals, even though she was 5 minutes late, and therefor failed her for that clinical rotation. my wife was so upset that she literally gave up and quit going to nursing school. that was in 2000 or 2001, if i remember correctly.

well needless to say, she decided that enough was enough and she divorced this (add your own colorful metaphor here) and was working at a ltc facility, where i met her in 2004. we hit it off and got married in 2006 and are truly very happy together and have a story book marriage. :kiss

she now works as a mental health tech at the local state psych hospital and one of her supervisors says that she should go back because she thinks that my wife would make an excellent nurse. my wife is very outgoing, has a great personality, and is strong willed. i know she would not let anyone take advantage or try to run her over, so to speak. my wife and i discussed her going back to school at the community college about a year ago, and upon further investigation, they told us that too much time had passed since she was last enrolled and that she would have to start from the ground up again. as you can imagine, my wife was pretty disappointed and did not want to have to start all over again. :crying2:

now since her supervisor has talked to her, it has once again started to rekindle her desire again. however, she is somewhat negative at times about going back. there is a school here, anamarc, that has an lvn program that is only 16 months long, and i tell her to go talk to the admissions peopple there and see what they tell her. her 3 main excuses for not going back are:

1. "i'm too old to go back to school." she is only 43 years young!! :banghead:

2. "i can't because of our 3 yr old son." her supervisor said that she was in a similar dysfunctional relationship and had small children as well at the time, and she was able to do it.

3. "it is too expensive." i tell her to apply to financial aid to see what they tell her; at least get some sort of stafford loan or something. i tell her, "where there's a will, there's a way."

like i said earler, it has been my wife's life long dream to become a nurse, and i know she has the ability to do it; it's just getting her to take that first step. of course i would help her in any shape or form possible to help her achieve her dream.

if there is anyone out there that has been in a similar situation or has any suggestions that i may have overlooked, i would greatly appreciate hearing them. i want my wife to be a nurse!

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I gave up nursing school when I became pregnant with my now 18 year old daughter...couldn't do the full time school and clinicals necessary at the time and be without my income. So fast forward to today - I'm now 44 years young and starting LPN school later this month. Student Loans are there for a reason - seems to me that keeping yourself from doing something you were meant to do with your life would cost you much, much more in the long run. As for the 3 year old - that sweet child will get a year older every year regardless.....and if wonderful husband is willing to make the necessary sacrifices, then momma should too. She's probably just afraid to step outside of her current comfort zone and put her self out there again.....and I speak from experience there too ;). We get older each year whether we use that year wisely or not - some people were put here to be nurses, and it sounds like she is one of them.....and goodness knows we need every one of them!

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Specializes in LTC, Acute Care.

She was only late once, and it was 5 minutes late, and that caused her to fail the entire clinical rotation? That doesn't sound right.

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Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Medsurge.

Tell her that this nurse attended the university for 1 quarter, failed a course, was out an entire year (meanwhile got a CNA certificate), returned and received a poor lab grade, had to ride out the rest of that quarter in shame so not to be given failing grades in the other courses. Decided to attend the local community college, started from scratch, did not want to be known as anything to do with the university system. Attended 3 semesters, failed pediatrics. Repeated Pediatrics (an honest to goodness repeder lol). So, all in all it took me possibly 7-8 years to gain my RN.

I've seen the bitter harvest of fine RN students burned by petty nursing instructors never to return. I say give em' hiyell and go for the gusto! Tell her to take back her pride, humble herself and go back, never give up until she has that RN! She deserves to do it for herself. Thank you for being the great supportive husband who often is overlooked on these threads!!!

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I started nursing school 15 years ago. Due to a lot of ugly circumstances i had to give up, broke my heart and killed my self confidence.

3 years ago, with a 1 year old in tow, went back to it, from scratch. The nursery fees were just about covered by my husband's salary, we were (are) living on my bursary. And I qualify in 3 months time. If i was able to do it, anyone can.

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Specializes in GERIATRICS,MDS COORDINATION.

OMG!! That is so sweet. Absolutely go back to school. I am 26 years old and when I went back to school at 24 there were women in their 50's finally going to get their RN. Okay your wife has a 3year old, I take it you are a very supportive husband. I went to school pregnant with a 2 1/2 year old son at home. I had my baby 3 months before graduation. It is totally worth the sacrifice. Being a nurse is one the most dependable jobs. Nursing is also full of opportunities. We always need a good nurse. :heartbeat

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She was only late once, and it was 5 minutes late, and that caused her to fail the entire clinical rotation? That doesn't sound right.

There has to be something else she isn't telling you.

If she doesn't want to go back or feels she can't you shouldn't stress her out by keeping on at her.

Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still.

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I agree with the rest - being late 5 minutes will not get you automatically failed, you'd have to be a habitually late person for that to occur or make a grievous error in clinical.

Not saying she's fibbin, but people sometimes stretch the truth to protect their internal self.

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Specializes in ICU.
I gave up nursing school when I became pregnant with my now 18 year old daughter...couldn't do the full time school and clinicals necessary at the time and be without my income. So fast forward to today - I'm now 44 years young and starting LPN school later this month. Student Loans are there for a reason - seems to me that keeping yourself from doing something you were meant to do with your life would cost you much, much more in the long run. As for the 3 year old - that sweet child will get a year older every year regardless.....and if wonderful husband is willing to make the necessary sacrifices, then momma should too. She's probably just afraid to step outside of her current comfort zone and put her self out there again.....and I speak from experience there too ;). We get older each year whether we use that year wisely or not - some people were put here to be nurses, and it sounds like she is one of them.....and goodness knows we need every one of them!

Exactly. And the time will pass whether she is in nursing school, fullfilling her dream... or whether she is not,, and getting way underpaid for doing a wonderful job.

I was the same,, dropped out of nursing school when I was pregnant with twins.. I ended up moving over 80 miles when the twins turned 6 to go back to nursing school. Yes, I had to do it all over again,, re take the biology classes.. But, let me tell you, it was all worth it. And like my dad told me atleast once a week,,, the time will pass whether you're in nursing school or not, you might as well go now. The best advice I could have heard.

I survived on pell grants, student loans and hospital grants,, single mom, three kids,, it happened. She has you! YOu sound very supportive, she should really take this chance and get back in there. She would love it, I'm sure of it!

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Specializes in ICU.

Let me just add,,, the first time I was in nursing school, I missed ONE clinical. ANd because of that, was flunked out. I can totally see where a nursing school would flunk you for missing a clinical. ANd if the instructor is a hard ass, then she can do this to you. Some schools are like this, whether or not we like to believe it. The first school I went to, (and this is why I moved 80 miles to go to a different school) they HAD TO flunk out nurses each semester, because they didn't have enough instructors to teach,, and they admitted this to us. They admitted 100... and they only had enough to teach 30 second year students.

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Specializes in NICU, Psych, Med/Onc,Ped Home Health.

just to clarify, my wife isn't the only student i know who has been failed for being late to his/her clinicals from the particular school. this school has a reputation of being very strict and demanding. much more so that the university i attended to get my bsn in the same city.

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Specializes in NICU, Psych, Med/Onc,Ped Home Health.

and thank you all so much for your sharing your wonderful advice and experiences. i greatly appreciate it and hop efully knowing that there are others out there that struggled, but made it through nursing school, that my wife can do it to. to all of you, i salute you! :clphnds:

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