i have a problem, and i am wondering if anyone out there has gone through a similar experience.
first, a little introduction to my problem...
my wife was in the nursing program at our local community college a few years back. she was doing really well and was living her dream to one day become a nurse. the problem was that her ex-husband was not supportive at all and did not understand how much time and dedication it takes to get through nursing school. she was juggling home life, plus taking care of her 2 teenage and 1 elementary age daughters, plus going to school full-time, and was doing well. however, on one particular day, she told me that her ex got so upset about the fact that all she did was study with her group (he even accused her of having numerous affairs on the side and that the study groups were just an excuse to get out of the house) that on one clinical day morning he made her 5 minutes late to her clinicals. the nursing instructor would not allow my wife to attend the clinicals, even though she was 5 minutes late, and therefor failed her for that clinical rotation. my wife was so upset that she literally gave up and quit going to nursing school. that was in 2000 or 2001, if i remember correctly.
well needless to say, she decided that enough was enough and she divorced this (add your own colorful metaphor here) and was working at a ltc facility, where i met her in 2004. we hit it off and got married in 2006 and are truly very happy together and have a story book marriage. :kiss
she now works as a mental health tech at the local state psych hospital and one of her supervisors says that she should go back because she thinks that my wife would make an excellent nurse. my wife is very outgoing, has a great personality, and is strong willed. i know she would not let anyone take advantage or try to run her over, so to speak. my wife and i discussed her going back to school at the community college about a year ago, and upon further investigation, they told us that too much time had passed since she was last enrolled and that she would have to start from the ground up again. as you can imagine, my wife was pretty disappointed and did not want to have to start all over again.
now since her supervisor has talked to her, it has once again started to rekindle her desire again. however, she is somewhat negative at times about going back. there is a school here, anamarc, that has an lvn program that is only 16 months long, and i tell her to go talk to the admissions peopple there and see what they tell her. her 3 main excuses for not going back are:
1. "i'm too old to go back to school." she is only 43 years young!!
2. "i can't because of our 3 yr old son." her supervisor said that she was in a similar dysfunctional relationship and had small children as well at the time, and she was able to do it.
3. "it is too expensive." i tell her to apply to financial aid to see what they tell her; at least get some sort of stafford loan or something. i tell her, "where there's a will, there's a way."
like i said earler, it has been my wife's life long dream to become a nurse, and i know she has the ability to do it; it's just getting her to take that first step. of course i would help her in any shape or form possible to help her achieve her dream.
if there is anyone out there that has been in a similar situation or has any suggestions that i may have overlooked, i would greatly appreciate hearing them. i want my wife to be a nurse!
I say go for it! I went to school with a passel of kids (the youngest one a nursing baby) and got through. It wasn't easy, but I'm sure glad I did it.
It's probably overwhelming to have to think about starting from scratch at this point, but like others have said, the time will pass anyway. Especially if your wife is already working, this will give her a chance to get a job she may consider more meaningful.
It's a big decision, but she only has to take one step at a time.
I am a divorced 30 year old mother of two. I get help from their daddy but he doesn't keep them overnight. The economy sucks so I don't get all of my child support either.
Like everyone else said, I get loans, aid, etc. There are local hospitals that have scholarships too.
As for your wife, I understand your issue. She has anxieties, maybe some that are appropriate and some that are just a reflection of her anxiety. I think it would help if we focus on one thing at a time. Don't focus on whether or not she will enroll in the first semester because first you have to break it up into small steps.
Start with "Let's worry about getting the application together" then move on to "Let's worry about the interview/getting in." then to financial aid and enrollment and finally, are you going to attend? One step at a time.
I started my application knowing that I had no idea how to tackle the herculean task of nursing school but I have learned that focusing on the task that lies directly ahead and ONLY the task that lies directly ahead is important.
There is no need to make huge leaps when baby steps will do. The right path becomes clearer as you continue down it. Picture it like this: If you are following directions from mapquest and you think the turn is coming up but you can't read the street signs, better to prepare for the turn by getting over a lane. If it is the right path when you get there, you can take it. Your wife can't read the street sign yet, maybe she should get over a lane.
What a blessed lady she is to have such a great guy! You sound like my husband.
...therefore 'urged' me to go for my CSR(court reporter license).
I was never really into it, but I did anyway. It ended up taking me 4 long years,
a $70,000 student loan and No jobs!!!!
Oh my, I too had thought of CSR and even toured the private school. I just remember the man with the full white beard who gave me the tour of the school, all these folks with these machines plucking away, I was in awe. He had me sign various single copy papers of agreement, "You will agree to act professionally while attending our school" he said "sign here" and I did....."Your school wants you to succeed, we provide you with job placement structured opportunities":He said "Sign Here and I did. "You have proven by your high test scores to be a worthy candidate, we encourage you to succeed, but hard work and diligence will make you the best CSR candidate for job placement" He said, "Sign this document!" and I did. Then, after signing a few more single sheets of meaningless verbage, he put forward a paper that looked suspiciously like a legal binding three copy document and said, "You've agreed by signing all of the prior papers, so do your part and sign here" My guts churned and I pushed the paper back and said, "I'm am not ready to sign" and left, and never did return. I would have hated to have learned such a difficult skill and come to find no jobs existed. Talk about hard knocks!!!
Specializes in NICU, Psych, Med/Onc,Ped Home Health.
once again, thank you for all your valued responses and excellent opinions. just a little more info to help shed a little more light on the subject:
i agree with some of the posts that have mentioned that my wife is just plain scared to go back. i get that feeling really well, hence, the excuses that she has given me. i know if she decides to do go back, she will do it because it is her dream, not mine. i am happy with whatever choices she makes and will support her 100% in whatever decision she makes. there is no way i would ever try to push her into something that she is not wanting or willing to do. plus, she is such a strong willed person, she wouldn't let herself. that is what i really love about her; she is willing to speak her mind regardless of who she is speaking to. she will stand up to anyone, and i mean anyone, if she thinks she is right and has the facts to back it up. my wife is a very passionate person. to see us together, is like night and day. i am more laid back, quiet, and easy-going; a "the glass is half full" type of guy. my wife is like i said, very passionate, very talkative, never met a stranger in her life, and sometimes short tempered. i guess we balance out each other quite well. never a dull moment with her , but we get along so well. truly have found my soulmate.
i also know that if she decides to go back, that she will do fine. she did quite well her first time around in nursing school (i have seen he transcripts) up until that day when she failed the clinical for being late. whenever she decides that she is going to do something, she will do it. i have no doubts about that at all. for the record, she wants to be an er nurse. she likes the adrenaline rush that comes with it.
as far as our other daughters (and i do consider them my daughters, even though they don't have my set of 23 chromosomes) do help out with our son. the youngest one is 12 and lives with us, and she watches him once my wife and leave for work (she works m-f 1500-2330) and i work nights (7p-7a). the oldest, 22, is married and has a 2 yr old daughter as well. what is nice as well, is both her and our son-in-law are both in school, trying to rank this summer to start the nursing program in the fall, plus they work at the same psych hospital that my wife does (weekends only). the middle daughter is 19 and is out of town going to school.
bottom line is like i said earlier, that whatever she decides to do, i will support 100% and be happy with it. as long as she is happy with her decisions, than so am i. only time will tell. will keep you all posted as to what happens :)
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, but we get along so well. truly have found my soulmate.
Cobweb
238 Posts
Maybe she'd like to plan on going back when the baby goes to school?