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I notice that calling anyone, man or woman, Dude seems to be the new fashion. Some of my younger colleagues will sometimes address me as 'Dude'!
It used to be that only young guys used Dude to address one another, more often in the stoner culture. Now younger women will use it on me, a 50 something matron!
Let me say here, I don't care for it. I am not a dude. You all are welcome to use my name, but please don't call me Dude.
I don't think the ma'am/sir thing is offensive. It's just that I felt young, still a 'girl'...ie I was unmarried and responsible to no-one but myself. I felt foot-loose and fancy free. (Didn't get married until I was 40; never met, until then, someone I thought was worth putting up with)
Then, when I was in my mid-fifties, I started getting the "ma'am's" and it kind of brought it to me like a wet, dead squirrel being slapped between my eyes: I am a grown-up adult person.
Ratz! It was a rude shock!
But, I don't like being called "Ms. Stars", it makes me feel in my dotage. Drop the Ms!
Someone please explain to my why 'ma'am' and 'sir' are considered offensive? I don't use them as pronouns when I know the person. For example, to a fellow coworker, I wouldn't say, "Ma'am, can you get the blood sugar in room 3?" I would say, ", can you [please] get the blood sugar ..." But, if there's a visitor who appears lost on the unit, I might say, "Excuse me ma'am, can I help you find your way?"
If I'm on the phone with a physician who writes an order I've asked for, I might end the phone call with, "Thank you sir!"
If a housekeeper comes in to change the trash while I'm in a patient's room, I might say, "Thank you ma'am!" if I don't know her name. I think getting offended over this is a bit ridiculous. Y'all need to understand that no one who was raised in the South thinks about age when using these honorifics. It's just a way to show respect and courtesy when addressing others. I understand some people don't see it that way and as I said, I won't use these honorifics with those who have expressedly asked me not to, but it's still peculiar to me.
It's a culture thing. I can only speak of New England culture, but it's like this....
Miss and Mr./Sir, but never Ma'am because it insinuates that the person it's directed at is old, since Ma'am is reserved for someone much younger speaking to someone much older.
Oops sorry, my post was confusing.I basically meant does anyone introduce themselves as Mrs or Mr when expecting to be addressed in kind?
No, ma'am. I do not.
Introduce myself by either first name or first and last names, depending on the circumstances. I don't expect to be called Mrs. or Ms. Eyes unless it is by a clerk who doesn't know me (and who has been instructed in Customer Service just like hospital nurses are.)
And to everyone else, I'm forever saying, "Just call me Stars".
It's a culture thing. I can only speak of New England culture, but it's like this....Miss and Mr./Sir, but never Ma'am because it insinuates that the person it's directed at is old, since Ma'am is reserved for someone much younger speaking to someone much older.
It's like that in NY as well, but preceded by Yo.
One of the things I like about my part of the South is that you can be a ma'am at 10. I used to help out with Vacation Bible School and got ma'am'd by the 4 year olds. It made me feel so grown up! And graduating from Canigraduate to Miss Canigraduate was something special.
Ah, those were the days.
In those parts, we rarely even heard the word "Dude" until Keanu and the Wyld Stallyns, and the Simpsons.
Suddenly, it was everywhere. I had my head thumped a couple of times for forgetting and saying it in front of an elder. My grandma hated that word.
I had a girl who works at coffee bar in the grocery store where I work call me ma'am. I'm 22.
I also volunteered at this church thing where I was working with girls from 6th grade to 9th grade. One of the younger girls called me Miss Daynuh :). I thought it was cute, but I told them they could call me by just Daynuh. The way I see it, we're equals. No need for the formalities.
There is also a woman I work with who is old enough to be my mother call me cutie. I don't mind at all, haha.
As for dude, I don't mind if others call me that, but I would never call a coworker dude unless I knew them very well.
sjalv
897 Posts
I don't know anyone who identifies themselves by using honorifics. Seems kind of self-absorbed.