PDN and boundaries

Good strong boundaries are a healthy thing. Maybe some nurses get more personally involved, but if that is not your style, don't try to be what you are not.

You are not a family friend, you are the hired nurse, and when drama gets stirred up, a family can turn on you.

I work in a hospital and am a little suspicious of families who praise me too much, seem overly friendly. Even if well meant, I can sense an underlying control and manipulation going on. Those families can turn on you too the first time you deny them anything.

I have worked PDN before & I always set clear boundaries because I never wanted to get get mixed into anything.

The last case I was on the day shift nurse would constantly buy or bring stuff for the patient. It shocked me. She mostly bought clothes but because the patient didn't have any but I refused to cross that line.

I have also been on cases where nurses would gossip with the mom, take the patient to their house (off the clock), and one nurse even would go so far as to drive all the way to Dallas on the weekends to take care of a patient.

I'd rather lose a case than ever be pulled into family drama or any other crap like that.

The rules I live by

1. I can be your friend, or I can be your nurse. I cannot be both. This is the foundation of my boundaries. When I follow it I am safe.

2. I can speak to the parents like a coworker if I'm very familiar with them, but I can never complain about my job, or the company

3. I will never discuss another nurses performance or any other employee's business

4. I will not offer health advice about anyone other than my patient

My main gripe is the agencies that do not enforce their own darn rules.

The exchange of phone numbers seems to be encouraged by my agency even though it says in the handbook to not give out your personal phone number.

I was never able to do it- one of the many reasons I left pdn

How about the patient's aunt driving a nurse to a surgical procedure (the nurse's surgical procedure, not the patient's) and then said nurse recovers at the patient's house because she is single and doesn't have any family!!!

- Heard about this from a family, a nurse brought her kid to work every day in the summer. Supervisor didn't notice because there were other kids in the house at the time. Family didn't care because the kids occupied themselves playing. Nurse was going on maternity leave and quitting, I think she didn't care.

- Heard about this from a family, a nurse brought her kid to work every day in the summer. Supervisor didn't notice because there were other kids in the house at the time. Family didn't care because the kids occupied themselves playing. Nurse was going on maternity leave and quitting, I think she didn't care.

I've heard of nurses doing this, I don't understand it. I would never do it myself. Some things nurses do in PDN really scare me.

I have thought about buying one of my patients some Artificial Tears and Culturelle(both are an ordered treatment for the client) because the caregivers either refuse to buy it or cannot afford it.

The child really,really needs them.

I know Medicaid does not pay for meds that are OTC even if ordered by the physician.

I have thought about buying one of my patients some Artificial Tears and Culturelle(both are an ordered treatment for the client) because the caregivers either refuse to buy it or cannot afford it.

The child really,really needs them.

I know Medicaid does not pay for meds that are OTC even if ordered by the physician.

You'd best clear that with your office first.

Many families are more comfortable having a "friend" in their house instead of an employee, but you do need to take care of your boundaries.

I had one mother unexpectedly, out of the blue, buy me an expensive Christmas gift. She and I were not that close, although we got along OK. I couldn't have accepted that gift even if we were close! When I told her that is was against policy, and that I could not accept it, she became angry! She had shopped specifically for me, buying something that she knew that I would like. (It was a great gift!)

It was a mess.

Since then, wen I first start, I have told my clients that gifts are against company police, and for good reason. I am paid for my services, and they don't owe me a thing.

Another thing they don't owe me is enough hours. That is my scheduler's responsibility. The family does not have to arrange for me to replace the hours that I lost when - for example - their child was in the hospital.

They know, too, that I will refuse to share in their food. If they have popcorn, sure it smells good, but they don't have to give me any. The same goes for dessert. Now, if I'm there during a birthday party for my client, I may accept a piece of cake, but that's about it.

I do sometimes bring in items that make my job easier, like medicine bottle caps that accept a syringe. (And they only cost about 30 cents each.)