Patients Treat Nurses Like Garbage!

MA Nurse · Nov 17, 2007

I don't know what it is. Last week I had five patients one day, all were demanding and miserable. This week I had another group of miserable demanding patients. I happen to see nurses who speak rudely to patients and my thought has always been that the patients pay a fortune for their care and deserve a caring, nice and knowledgeable nurse. I'm starting to think otherwise and see why so many nurses speak up to the patients. In the past, I've nearly always taken a difficult patient and could bring out the best in them. My recent patients are just so rude. I'm the first to have the common sense to realize their illnesses are often new and anxiety can bring out the worst in people. Regardless, it doesn't give them the right to treat those caring for them the most, like garbage. I'm fortunate that I don't need to work and really wonder if I want to go to work, a job I once loved, to be treated terribly. I know many nurses I work with, who are honest, admit they would love to leave and do something different, but often don't have any other options but to be a nurse. How do you all deal with your rude patients??

I am so thankful I work with babies. Have you ever considered it? Seriously, they can't hurt you physically, maybe emotionally...but they have no choice in their care...they are the best patients, IMO. They don't argue, swear, treat you like garbage, etc.

They are very compliant, too!

Your story is the very reason i onlt worked with adults for 1 year out of nursing school. No nurse should be treated this way.

Shantas · Nov 17, 2007

I am so thankful I work with babies. Have you ever considered it? Seriously, they can't hurt you physically, maybe emotionally...but they have no choice in their care...they are the best patients, IMO. They don't argue, swear, treat you like garbage, etc.
They are very compliant, too!
Your story is the very reason i onlt worked with adults for 1 year out of nursing school. No nurse should be treated this way.

How about the families, the parents of the babies?? Sometimes the families are worse than the patients themselves.

I want to share another incident with you all!!

This young lady was admitted to my floor for sickle cell crisis and she is a well known patient on our floor. She also has pain issues and seen by addiction team. One day I had her as my patient. She has been getting dilaudid and phenergan. She was also getting benadryl. So that day she took her dilaudid and phenergan IV then she is reqesting me to give her the benadryl IV. She had a double lumen picc line and one port was hep locked and the other one had IV fluid infusing. So as usual I was about to push the benadryl in the line where the fluid is infusing. She did not like it at all. She insisted I push the benadryl in the port that is hep locked. I asked her why and she said its because I needed to flush that port! I told her I do not and will not flush the port with benadryl!! Then she got mad at me and she told me I was an incompetent nurse and didn't know what I was doing, then she demaded another nurse to take care of her.....to make the long story short, the addiction doctor talked to her and later that day she left the hospital ama:D

EmmaG, RN · Nov 17, 2007

I'm sick and tired of hearing the excuse that these people are acting this way because they're ill and stressed. And I wish like hell nursing instructors would stop drumming this crap into students' heads. All that does is perpetuate the stereotype of the nurse as a long-suffering martyr.

I've been in this business long enough to recognize the difference between patients (and families) acting out from illness and stress and those who are simply a horse's ass.

"Stress" ain't got nothin' to do with it. And I refuse to excuse that behaviour.

/rant

Christie RN2006 · Nov 17, 2007

I'm sick and tired of hearing the excuse that these people are acting this way because they're ill and stressed. And I wish like hell nursing instructors would stop drumming this crap into students' heads. All that does is perpetuate the stereotype of the nurse as a long-suffering martyr.
I've been in this business long enough to recognize the difference between patients (and families) acting out from illness and stress and those who are simply a horse's ass.
"Stress" ain't got nothin' to do with it. And I refuse to excuse that behaviour.
/rant

You do have to admit that stress does bring out the worst in people... I feel bad for my family when they have to deal with me when I'm stressed, but still that is no excuse to treat people like crap.

SICU Queen · Nov 17, 2007

I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been treated like crapola by a patient and/or family member.

It's one of the many reasons why I can't wait to get out of this profession. I've been a (mental and physical) punching bag long enough.

:angryfire

sistasoul · Nov 17, 2007

I have observed that the patients who treat nurses rudely, are the exact same ones who become silent, pleasant, smiling, and respectful when the doctor sees them during rounds.

I love this post. I work as an LNA at a hospital and a receptionist for an eye Dr and I see the same thing going on. At the Dr's office a patient will come in and start demanding things and being downright nasty. When they go in with the Dr they are like a different person. It is so infuriating. These people are bullies. As a receptionist they know I have to be nice and accomodating to them but they feel inferior to the Dr and don't dare talk nasty to them. This is one reason when I graduate NS in May (god willing) that I will not be long for bed sde nursing.

core0 · Nov 17, 2007

I love this post. I work as an LNA at a hospital and a receptionist for an eye Dr and I see the same thing going on. At the Dr's office a patient will come in and start demanding things and being downright nasty. When they go in with the Dr they are like a different person. It is so infuriating. These people are bullies. As a receptionist they know I have to be nice and accomodating to them but they feel inferior to the Dr and don't dare talk nasty to them. This is one reason when I graduate NS in May (god willing) that I will not be long for bed sde nursing.

You have a huge advantage in the office that you don't have in the hospital. You can fire the patient. We had a policy that if they are abusive they are given one warning then we gave them 30 days to find a new practice. If they were very abusive they didn't get a warning, just an invitation to find somewhere else. This applied to anyone. Nurses, receptionist etc. Docs didn't stand for abusive behavior period. Where I am now its even easier. Part of transplant evaluation is ability to follow directions and to continue care afterwards. If the are rude or abusive we invite them to find another program. This means they are usually on pretty good behavior. Of course once we transplant them we are stuck with them forever:uhoh3:.

David Carpenter, PA-C

sistasoul · Nov 17, 2007

You have a huge advantage in the office that you don't have in the hospital. You can fire the patient. We had a policy that if they are abusive they are given one warning then we gave them 30 days to find a new practice. If they were very abusive they didn't get a warning, just an invitation to find somewhere else. This applied to anyone. Nurses, receptionist etc. Docs didn't stand for abusive behavior period. Where I am now its even easier. Part of transplant evaluation is ability to follow directions and to continue care afterwards. If the are rude or abusive we invite them to find another program. This means they are usually on pretty good behavior. Of course once we transplant them we are stuck with them forever:uhoh3:.
David Carpenter, PA-C

I think I will definitely be looking into some type of outpatient nursing after I get hospital experience. Sounds like you work for and with a great group Of Drs

blueheaven · Nov 17, 2007

I don't know what it is. Last week I had five patients one day, all were demanding and miserable. This week I had another group of miserable demanding patients. I happen to see nurses who speak rudely to patients and my thought has always been that the patients pay a fortune for their care and deserve a caring, nice and knowledgeable nurse. I'm starting to think otherwise and see why so many nurses speak up to the patients. In the past, I've nearly always taken a difficult patient and could bring out the best in them. My recent patients are just so rude. I'm the first to have the common sense to realize their illnesses are often new and anxiety can bring out the worst in people. Regardless, it doesn't give them the right to treat those caring for them the most, like garbage. I'm fortunate that I don't need to work and really wonder if I want to go to work, a job I once loved, to be treated terribly. I know many nurses I work with, who are honest, admit they would love to leave and do something different, but often don't have any other options but to be a nurse. How do you all deal with your rude patients??

We tend to vent to each other in a place away from the bedside (usually in the nurses report room). I have noticed that we get "runs" of rude patients...then it will change and we get nice patients and unfortunately they have the "family from HELL" We are finishing up a run on the families from hell right now.....LOL

Aidaniel · Nov 19, 2007

I don't know what it is. Last week I had five patients one day, all were demanding and miserable. This week I had another group of miserable demanding patients. I happen to see nurses who speak rudely to patients and my thought has always been that the patients pay a fortune for their care and deserve a caring, nice and knowledgeable nurse. I'm starting to think otherwise and see why so many nurses speak up to the patients. In the past, I've nearly always taken a difficult patient and could bring out the best in them. My recent patients are just so rude. I'm the first to have the common sense to realize their illnesses are often new and anxiety can bring out the worst in people. Regardless, it doesn't give them the right to treat those caring for them the most, like garbage. I'm fortunate that I don't need to work and really wonder if I want to go to work, a job I once loved, to be treated terribly. I know many nurses I work with, who are honest, admit they would love to leave and do something different, but often don't have any other options but to be a nurse. How do you all deal with your rude patients??

I think all nurses globally, in some way, suffered the same way too. Whenever I am on the same situation, I try to be patient and keep cool to the max! Sometimes whenever I have the chance, I would locked myself to the rest room and yell aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!:angryfire ( but not to the point that others would hear me ) and when I go out of the rest room I am a renewed person ( lol ) ready to deal with these people ( specifically the relatives ) civilly again.:trout:

lamazeteacher · Nov 19, 2007

Gratefully! I let them know how much I appreciate how hard it is to be sick (I've been there, and each day I thank God for being well, now), and how important it is to keep thinking of what they'll do and feel, once they're well again (or if that's not in the "cards", more short term improvements, like seeing a favorite person, being home, etc.).

These days, being sick means financial disaster, especially for those without health insurance. The rudeness and 'tude may be a symptom of depression, and a social worker might help. This could be an opportunity to get treatment for it!

When I've been flat on my back, I resented anyone upright, because I wanted to be in their shoes, not where I was. When a Nurse remarked to me that it was OK to cry, the flood gates opened, and I felt so much better afterward. There really is a toxin that must be released in tears, that's what they are for.

The more help you can give someone difficult, the more satisfaction you can get back. Remember that you're there at a time when you're most needed by that person, and it's a privilege we get that most others don't have in their work, and know that YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET! There's a short book by Laura Huxley about that......

bradleau · Nov 19, 2007

Do you not have problems with the parents? That is why I will not work with peds. I hate to say it, but the drunks that are admitted are much nicer and appreciative than the 20-30 yr olds that think they can continue their party after admission. :banghead: