We've all been there. In our time as nurses, we've heard patients say some pretty wild things. Whether it's off-the-wall reasons for how they came to need medical care or something as seemingly mundane as a catchphrase which a patient uttered that resulted in you having a laughing fit; those memorable phrases, reasons or moments could win you one of two $250 Amazon.com gift cards courtesy of relode.
Dust off those memories and leave them in the comment form below. The two grand prize winners will be announced during National Nurses Week but have no fear - even if you don't win one of the grand prizes, we are giving away some cool runner-up prize packs to two more lucky winners!
We all know that patients say the darnedest things, let us hear your best! Thanks for all that you, our nation's nurses, do and Happy National Nurses Week!
Be sure to enter our two previous contests for more chances to win...
I had a patient ask me at 2am while checking her vitals " I heard that people taste like chicken, what do you think ?" My thought Was i should leave the room immediately!!
I was taking care of a 104 year old woman. She was amazing-- could still dress herself, was continent, could use her walker to get around, and her brain was sharp. I asked her, "Mrs. So and so, what's the secret to living to 104 years old and still doing so well?" She smiled and said, "I can't tell you." I said sure you can, and she said, "I shouldn't." I persuaded her to whisper it in my ear. She proceeded to tell me, "Have great sex!"
Then she asked if I was married, and I said no but I had a boyfriend. She asked how I met him and I told her I met him on the internet and exlained about online dating. She then said, "Ohhhh! You gotta sign me up! Show me how to sign up!" I just laughed it off. Later as I was saying goodbye to the patients at the end of my shift she got a twinkle in her eye and said, "Remember what I told you!"
Back in the days of the "precordial thump" I had to thump this older guy several times. The last time he looked up at me and says, "Lady, what the devil do you keep hittin' me for?"
Walked into my patient's room as the hospitalist was discussing code status and asking the patient, "If you were to get worse, would you want us to try to resuscitate you?" Patient's reply: "Yes, but gently."
So I didn't always believe in DID, aka multiple personalities. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that someone could legitimately have more than one personality... Until I met Kayla (obviously not her real name). She would be walking down the hall, holding her hand up to her ear as if she had a phone. She had conversations with her other personalities ALL THE TIME. "Yeah, I know girl. That's what I said." One of her personalities was a baby. She would hug herself or feed herself like a baby. Or crawl. She once dropped her "phone" behind a couch and demanded the staff move the couch to get it. They were not happy.
I once had a patient with schizophrenia and dementia. She was often non-compliant with her meds because of her paranoia. I tried to give her meds one night. "No. No. No. I can't take 'em." "Why not?" I asked. "Cuz Jimmy needs to go to the bathroom." She proceeded to hand me her son. AKA a stuffed snowman. I asked if he could go to the bathroom himself. "Of course not! He ain't got no shoes. Can you take him?" I then proceeded to take a stuffed snowman to the bathroom. I even flushed the toilet for good measure. And sure enough, she took her meds.
I had a patients wife worried that when her husband coughed up phlegm and swallowed it, that it went back into his lungs. She thought that was why he wasn't getting better.
One evening I was checking the pulses & groin site on an elderly gentleman post heart cath, when he asked me if I had every roller-skated. I replied that I had in my youth. Then he turned to his friend & said "Won't she would make a great addition to our women's roller derby team". Then proceeded to inquired if I would care to try out for the team. I politely declined his generous offer, thinking it was some kind of joke. The next week there was a post in the local paper with a picture of the two gentlemen & their derby team.
I had a very confused patient who was at least 20 years my junior. He said "Don't I know you" me-"no sir, I don't think so" him-"yes I do, we went to high school together" me-"oh yes, I remember you"....
I also had another patient "nurse can I smoke" me-"sorry sir, our policy is no smoking at the hospital" patient-"are you engaged?" apparently I looked like a marriage proposal would lead to me taking him out for a smoke....lol!
One NOC I had a sweet but terribly confused elderly lady on the med-surg floor. She was in one of the "watch rooms" so we could see her from the nurse's station, but i think this might have messed her up even more because she could see US as well. She was often talking to us because of this throughout the night, and had been awake most of the shift. She called to me at one point and said "Goodness it's loud. Is this the British invasion?" I asked her "Are you talking about The Rolling Stones?" She replied "No, more like The Beatles". We sang Beatles songs for a few- it was a nice change of pace.
Rachet2001
2 Posts
I had a patient ask me at 2am while checking her vitals " I heard that people taste like chicken, what do you think ?" My thought Was i should leave the room immediately!!