With some of the things patients say, Nurses sometimes wonder if they are on a hidden camera TV show! Weird, wacky or even touching, those phrases stick with us. Think of your favorite thing a patient has said, submit it in the comments below and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE June 5, 2017
The winner of the $250 amazon.com gift card for favorite thing a patient has said from allnurses.com is user jndmj30 for:
Labour Patient to drunken visitor who vomited all over L/D triage bathroom. "Leave that for the nurse. They clean up puke all the time. They don't mind. Besides, they won't even know it was you!"
I had to straight cath a patient one time for a urine test and I told him I'll try to be quick and gentle and he said " Oh don't worry, this is nothing. In the army all I heard was bend over". Lol I turned bright red.
Patient: "I'll be right back! I have to leave to go to my methadone clinic right now but I will come right back".
This was an ER that we spent over an hour and several attempts to FINALLY get IV access.
Nurse: "If you leave you will have to sign out AMA and we will have to remove the IV before you go. You can come back and start the process over if you choose".
Patient: "You can leave the IV in, really. I'll be right back after I get my methadone."
Nurse: "It doesn't work that way".
True story. It takes a lot to amaze me. Hearing this patient at first rendered me speechless. She was dead serious too.
You know, of course, that she was probably going to go shoot up.
I'm a Nurse so I can make it painful and it Will be legal.
Don't you believe it. Read "assault, battery" if you make your angry, superior attitude known. Just saying.
I know you're likely just kidding and wouldn't do anything even close to illegal, but not everyone is going to understand and take it in stride if you go around saying that mess.
Labour Patient to drunken visitor who vomited all over L/D triage bathroom. "Leave that for the nurse. They clean up puke all the time. They don't mind. Besides, they won't even know it was you!"
Patient: "I'm really nauseated. Can I get some phenergan, benadryl, and demerol?" Me:"Ok.." Patient: "Also, if you have any chips, pudding, red jello, and icecream, I'll take some. And a Dr. Pepper with ice."
PACnurse1
3 Posts
Triage Nurse at call center: Epitomy of cross training
Incoming call from pt
Patient: My German Shepherd ate my entire bottle of Norco.
Can you help him?
Nurse response: I was tempted to go into suicide triage protocol
Is Lucky depressed? however I responded:
I am sorry but we only triage human being please call your local vet.