With some of the things patients say, Nurses sometimes wonder if they are on a hidden camera TV show! Weird, wacky or even touching, those phrases stick with us. Think of your favorite thing a patient has said, submit it in the comments below and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE June 5, 2017
The winner of the $250 amazon.com gift card for favorite thing a patient has said from allnurses.com is user jndmj30 for:
I was precepting on icu my second year of nursing school. A patient was a 1:1, and was very agitated after being extubated. She looked at the aide and said "I wanna f*** you" the aide was mortified.
My son was 4 years old and dehydrated , was receiving fluids thru an IV , on the day he was to go home, the nurse came in to take out his IV. After it was removed he looked at me very seriously and said " I do not want any more poision ivy's again" . Needless to say it made me and the nurse laugh.
Just this past shift I had an elder lol with dementia.. at the beginning of shift she was a little agitated and I reoriented her and gave her the remote/call light and told her to call me if she needed anything... her response, "I'd rather call roto-rooter" I had to walk out of the room because I could not contain my laughter!
I entered a patients room that was reported to be a little suspicious, son is a lawyer, and family is very vigilant. I smiled and said "good morning, I am Renee, how are you today?" She replied...."Who wants to know...and did my son tell you to ask me that?" ME:...."Um, I will be right back, I forgot a towel."
Couldn't leave that room fast enough to go giggle.
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
I received a call on the unit one night from a young female who had become a regular visitor on my adult mental health unit. Suicidal gestures, usually with something ridiculous, had become the norm for her.
Patient: "I just took a bunch of dog vitamins. Am I gonna die?"
Me: "You're going to be nauseated for a while, but that's about it."
I have plenty things to say, but this one sticks out in my head from 10 years ago. I had a patient who was on a lot of pain meds, and she was allowed to go out and smoke with her also heavily medicated friend unsupervised. Well, later that night shortly before bed, said patient was getting some ice and having trouble making it into her cup, so I go to assist her. I am standing behind her she's in her wheelchair and I noticed a large chunk of what appeared to be burnt hair. I said Ms. Anne, did you burn your hair? She then looks at me and asked "Did you set my hair on fire"? Hard to contain my laughter, but I replied no. Shortly after all smoking trips had to have someone to watch them. The burn holes on their shirts were enough to warrant that!
They couldn't pay me enough to go out with those two on a smoke break.
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
From a Psych patient looking most serious and conspiratorial about it, said to my colleague:
"Get me out of here (locked ward) and I'll reward you handsomely".
That just tickled my funny bone.