Patients family in the medical field

dudette10, MSN, RN · May 23, 2015

A couple more. They're just popping into my head at random now.

My MIL had advanced Alzheimer's, and she was admitted to ICU with severe sepsis progressing to septic shock. (I posted about that event some time ago.) The ICU nurse taking care of her immediately prior to our deciding on hospice was efficient, tidy, and very experienced. She also had a face set very tightly as she was taking care of my MIL. My husband was unsure of how to proceed, despite my acknowledgement that she had gotten better, then worse, and now we had a decision to make. The ICU nurse knew I was a nurse, and I thought I knew what the she was thinking to explain her demeanor. When I went out to talk to her about bringing the doc in to speak to my husband about my MIL's prognosis, my intuition was confirmed. I found myself giving her excuses as to why we hadn't made the decision yet; I was trying to make her not judge us for what we had decided up until now. It's not comfortable being judged by a peer. But this is the way it HAD to transpire: I have been married to my husband for 20 years, and I knew what my husband needed to make a difficult decision. Time. With frequent reminders from me about what needs to be done and that any additional interventions was prolonging the inevitable and making my MIL very uncomfortable (she was on NIV, and we all know how uncomfortable those masks are). I knew he was ready, but he needed that extra push which only a doctor could give him. Within a couple hours, she was on hospice with a morphine drip and transported to another floor. When we got to the floor, my husband asked the nurse, "Aren't you going to put her on the monitor?" The nurse looked a little perplexed, but my heart was dying inside. The man I loved sounded so lost...so unsure...so childlike. I just put my hand on his back and said, "Honey, that's not what hospice does, ok?" It finally clicked with him, and he just nodded, finally understanding. Finally starting to let go. As my MIL was dying, my husband and kids peppered me with questions. "Why is grandma breathing like that?" "How will we know she's gone?" "Can she hear us?" "Why is she so puffy?" "Why is she getting cold?" I was a nurse that night....to my own family. It helped *me* cope.

After my older son had his wisdom teeth removed, the anesthetic took its toll on him. He wouldn't follow directions, he was angry, he was impulsive. The nurse with him looked at me and hissed, "Make him sit down!" Look, sweetie, he's not acting out like this because he WANTS to! I was already anxious about the effects, especially when a previous surgery's anesthetic left him happy-loopy and sweet as pie. This one was turning him into a monster! I didn't appreciate her directive to me in that way, as if it was just some wayward brat with a too-lenient mother.

klone, MSN, RN · May 23, 2015

Dudette, what happened to your sons and are they okay now?

dudette10, MSN, RN · May 23, 2015

Dudette, what happened to your sons and are they okay now?

Oh, yes, they are both perfectly normal now. My older son with the TBI and axonal shearing wasn't expected to walk again. I always say, "Well, they forgot to tell HIM that." He's perfectly fine now!

Thank you for asking. Very sweet of you! :)

ETA: My husband's little coupe was T-boned twice-- by an SUV going 40 mph through a red, then hit on the other side by a minivan. Both kids secured in the back seat. The older kid had a coup/contracoup TBI, GCS of 3 at the scene, increasing to an 8 in the ED, intubated/sedated. My younger son's scalp was exploded open with glass, no internal injuries, put back together by a plastic surgeon. My husband with 5 broken ribs and pneumothorax, no other injuries.

klone, MSN, RN · May 23, 2015

Holy moly. How horrible and terrifying that must have been for you! I'm so glad to hear they're doing fine now!

dizzygatorrn · Jun 3, 2015

I'm still trying to figure out what all these vignettes actually mean to me as a nurse, so I draw no conclusions. Still mulling over it all...

As I read Dudette's vignettes, it struck me that in these memories that are so fresh to her, some many years later

A tone of voice

A facial expression

Assessing a patient's understanding

Determining a patient's preference

Explaining what you are doing as you are doing it

Assisting a mother to hold her child

In these times of high acuity and decreased staffing, none of these things take any longer to do than not doing them.

dudette10, MSN, RN · Jun 4, 2015

As I read Dudette's vignettes, it struck me that in these memories that are so fresh to her, some many years later
A tone of voice
A facial expression
Assessing a patient's understanding
Determining a patient's preference
Explaining what you are doing as you are doing it
Assisting a mother to hold her child
In these times of high acuity and decreased staffing, none of these things take any longer to do than not doing them.

Wow. You're right. Your insight into my experiences and enduring memories certainly helps me understand what patients take with them when I care for them.

Thank you.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2015

As I read Dudette's vignettes, it struck me that in these memories that are so fresh to her, some many years later
A tone of voice
A facial expression
Assessing a patient's understanding
Determining a patient's preference
Explaining what you are doing as you are doing it
Assisting a mother to hold her child
In these times of high acuity and decreased staffing, none of these things take any longer to do than not doing them.

Brilliant. Just brilliant. Thank you.

OCNRN63, RN · Jun 9, 2015

I keep it to myself, but usually I will say or do something and "out" myself. Like the time my Dad was in the ED for SVT and after he got adenocard, the ED nurse said to me, "Are you a nurse?" I said, "Yes, how did you know?" She said it was because of how I was watching the monitor.

I try to let staff do their job unless someone is clearly unsafe.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jun 13, 2015

Doctors and lawyers treat each other with respect and professional courtesy.Nurses can get defensive and apprehensive.

In the clinical setting, a fellow medical professional deserves acknowledgement of their expertise.

Perhaps, one day when you are a nurse you will realize that.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jun 13, 2015

I work in Peds and we get mothers who are nurses and it's like...ok you can use medical terms good for you.

Disgusted that a CNA posts on a professional forum .. their disregard for nurses , that are also mothers...while their child is seriously ill.

Jensmom7, BSN, RN · Jun 13, 2015

Disgusted that a CNA posts on a professional forum .. their disregard for nurses , that are also mothers...while their child is seriously ill.

Gee, who peed in your Cheerios?

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jun 13, 2015

Gee, who peed in your Cheerios?

.

As you MAY be able to tell, I am sincerely concerned when my fellow nurses are disrespected.

Do you anything constructive to add?