patient lingo...

Published

i find it hilarious to hear the things that patients say - believeing that they are using medical terminology correctly...

vomicking = vomiting

incubated = intubated

subdermal hematoma = subdural (that was pretty close though)

injection fraction = ejection fraction

lateration = laceration

mycardio infection = MI

the list goes on and on - what are some of your favorites??

Originally posted by athomas91

i had a mom telling me the other nite that her son always had bad "respiratorial" problems - i started thinking of this post and it was all i could do not to burst out laughing "respiratorial!!!!"

come on now. be nice. the boy probably has azmer.:chuckle

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about 2 years into my er career, i was doing triage and a mother brought her 6ish year old son to the desk. i asked her how i could help her and in a low voice she replied "my son's worm hurts."

well, i was naive at that time and looked at her and said (not real quiety mind you) "his worm hurts? what?" well, when i realized that she meant member i thought i would die laughing!:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

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Specializes in Neurology, Neurosurgerical & Trauma ICU.

The other day I had a guy call me and ask me if they put the "track" in his sister. "Uh, do you mean trach?" LMFAO :chuckle

I can just see all the little cars going around the "track" inside this little old lady! LOL LOL LOL

Take care!

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A nurse I used to work with had hand written a list of S&S for a pt's dtr-caregiver to report to the home health nurse. She left it in the home for the dtr to read as she wasn't there at the time. The next nurse that visited could tell the dtr was very upset and asked her why. She handed the nurse the note and said can you believe that nurse said this about my mom. After reading the list of symptoms and not seeing anything alarming the dtr was asked to point out the problem. She replied my mother has never been called a $OB in her life. The first nurse had been very careful to write in pt lingo but had slipped up and written...please call us when your mom is S.O.B. We have had a great laugh over that one.

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Specializes in Oncology, Cardiology, ER, L/D.
Originally posted by MAGIK GIRL

about 2 years into my er career, i was doing triage and a mother brought her 6ish year old son to the desk. i asked her how i could help her and in a low voice she replied "my son's worm hurts."

well, i was naive at that time and looked at her and said (not real quiety mind you) "his worm hurts? what?" well, when i realized that she meant member i thought i would die laughing!:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

:rotfl: :rotfl: BWWWWAHHHHH! That is hilarious! If it was me, I'd probably say something real sympathetic like, " His worm, do we look like a vet's office to you, lady?" Nah, but I sure would want to! Also, I have a problem with adults who are uncomfortable with saying the correct anatomical name for genetalia, come on! She was talking to another adult and she couldn't say the word member? These are great Magik girl, keep em coming!

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Along the same lines...a few years ago when i was still working in ICU, I was helping an elderly woman (78) take a bath. She let me do most of the scrubbing. When it came time to wash her genitals, she said "here let me have that rag, you don't want to get near old stinky" I thought I was going to fall in the floor laughing!!!:roll

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Originally posted by LPN2Be2004

Prostrate.

Eight straight hours of hearing a wife asking about her husband's prostrate last night.

By the way, his 'prostate' gand was TURP'ed 4 years ago.

well speaking of prostates=color me stupid.I called my PCP for scripts today and instead of asking for flonase I asked for Flomax-and the secretary wrote it down without a second thought..So 2 calls and who knows how much wasted time later I did get my refills.My doc called me at home this afternoon and asked me if I was keeping a secret from them.......
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LOVE THE LINGO...

hAD AN ELDERLY WOMAN ONCE TELL ME THAT HER "AUNT MARGARET" WAS HURTING..

HAVE USED THAT PHRASE SINCE THEN WHEN SPEAKING WITH ELDERLY FEMALES THAT NEED A LAUGH:)

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I had an elderly pt tell me yesterday that his sister had cancer.....and was recieving RADAR treatments at my hospital. I immediately envisioned a big,burly state trooper with mirror sunglasses chasing a little old lady around with his radar gun, had to leave the room so I could laugh.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

A friend's grandma told me about blacking out and falling because her "electric lights (electrolytes) went out. It's from taking those latex pills (lasix)you know". It sort of makes sense too...no lights=blackout. Gotta love her !

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I always get a kick out of patients who ask for their "Phenregran" and then there was this one pt who complained about her "hootenanny" itching really really badly!!!:roll

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One triage form I read said : I fought the law and the law won. This pt had been shot (grazed his arm) - but when asked by who he said "I dont know"

Another favorite: "When I get to sneeving (sneezing) - stuff just shoots out my mouth":chuckle

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