patient lingo...

rnparrot · Dec 14, 2003

THIS IS A GREAT TOPIC...VERY FUNNY. MY FAVORITE AND HEARD MANY TIMES IS WHEN I HAVE THIS BABY I'M GONNA WALK RIGHT IN AND TELL THEM TO GIVE ME THAT EPIDERMAL:

ANOTHER ONE IS HOW MANY PEOPLE CALL ALZHEIMERS DISEASE OLD TIMERS DISEASE. THIS ONE IS ESPECIALLY ANNOYING TO ME BECAUSE MY MOTHER IN LAW HAS IT...

THERE ARE SO MANY AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS LAUGH:chuckle

MAGIK GIRL · Dec 14, 2003

:eek:

yea, well you better be werarin' your mask at work or you might get exposed to scars.:roll

EMS · Dec 15, 2003

After an unsuccessful code (as most codes are) doc went out to talk to the wife, explaining to her that her husband had passed away from a myocardial infarction. After a few min of a very shocked look the wife sat down and asked to use the phone to call her son.

When the son got on the phone she told him of the happenings of the night and then ended with " and the doctor said your father died of a massive internal fart"

:imbar :confused:

AlaskanRN · Dec 15, 2003

These are too funny

I have heard many of these, but I think the one that annoys me most is when the parent asks me if their child has "infantigo".

CCU NRS · Dec 15, 2003

Love this thread keep em coming!!!

I heard my Dad ask my Grandmother once how she was feeling and then he asked her if she went outdoors?

I asked why he wanted to know if she went outdoors and found out that that meant having a BM. They used to have to go to the outhouse in the old days, you could use a pan for peeing but to have a BM you had to go outdoors!

My father was also notorious for prostrate even after he got cancer there.

High blood= diabetes

alltimers=alzheimers

My father probably wouldn't think this was funny but he had phenergan suppositories once for nausea and he asked what he was supposed to do with it so I explained...later he told that didn't seem to help and that foil kinda cut him when he put it up there...swear to God

Coldfoot · Dec 15, 2003

Love the documentation by a new tech of

"Hx: Cabbage X2 yr" Translation=CABG X 2 years

Also patients with the "sugar diabetes" (As opposed to....the estrogen diabetes?)

obliviousRN · Dec 18, 2003

"I'm s'posed to get that oxy-gun staturtation checked"

"I can't feel my pultz"

"I don't understand why I have to take that pregnantzone - I'm not having a baby" (prednisone - yes, this was actually said)

"I had a gernia repair" (Did they take a gurney out of your abdomen?)

"I take Top-roll for my high blood pressure" (Toprol)

"When I had an epidermal, it took my contractual pain away" (are you under a long term obligation with that contractual pain?)

nekhismom · Dec 18, 2003

:roll

Sugar= diabetes

High blood= depends, can mean either diabetes or high blood pressure.

I actually had a pt. ask me if one could actually die from a massive internal fart. She was scared to death of getting gas, so she had been taking gas-x for a while to prevent this! I found out she meant MI of course, but she HONESTLY believed her loved one died from a massive FART!

veetach · Dec 30, 2003

Ok, here are a few from our area. I need to preface this by telling everyone that I am not native to PA. I am a westerner through and through, born in Montana and raised in Colorado. Move to PA after living in Los Angeles for 9 years...

anyway, one day in the middle of the summer a woman came in to our triage area and told me "I have poison". Now this westerner, thinking activated charcoal is in order says "did you drink the poison?" the lady looked at me like I was from another planet and said "NO its here" pointing at her arm... Poison in PA= poison ivy or poison oak.

THey also call diabetes "sugar" and no one has high blood pressure, because they take a pill for it and so they dont have it anymore. I had one patient who denied any health history... after asking about surgeries, I was told the patient had a pacemaker, implanted a few years after her 4 vessel bypass... and before she had a stroke!!!

we also have a patient who brings us a "promble list" each time she comes in. one of the problems is a bad glubber!!

ktwlpn, LPN · Dec 31, 2003

Originally posted by veetach
we also have a patient who brings us a "promble list" each time she comes in. one of the problems is a bad glubber!!

ok-so-what is it?..."bad lover"? "gallbladder?":D

CCU NRS · Dec 31, 2003

had a familly member ask me today if they were going to do that analysis again today? I asked analysis of what ? He says you know when they take the fluid off! OH DIALYSIS?

veetach · Dec 31, 2003

HAHAHA.... in the case I mentioned above,

bad glubber= bad gallbladder!!