patient lingo...

gwenith, BSN, RN · Nov 25, 2003

We are up to 36 posts and no-one has had a "go" at us yet for making fun of patients!!!

Truly EVERYONE makes these sort of mistakes when speaking another language which is what medicine is. The classic mistake in Italian is to order a plate of dog instead of a plate of meat (English speakers do not roll the R's enough:chuckle)

Anyway here are my favs:-

Dire Rear - diahorrea

Expensive Scare Unit - Intensive Care Unit

Asparagus veins - Varicose Veins

nursesearl, BSN, RN · Nov 25, 2003

Our pastor visited a male church member shortly after being admitted to our small rural hospital. The patient told the pastor he had "unstable vangina."

vossy · Nov 25, 2003

:roll :roll :roll

This is fun, great examples.

I remember a female patient who proudly showed me a bracelet. She said look, my husband gave me a bracelet with his genitals on it. (genital =initial)

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 25, 2003

Originally posted by gwenith
Dire Rear - diahorrea

DEFINATELY

Or the people that refer it it as "The Di-rear" or "The headache"

"Nurse, i'm gettin' the headache"

zudy · Nov 25, 2003

Originally posted by vossy
:roll :roll :roll
This is fun, great examples.

I remember a female patient who proudly showed me a bracelet. She said look, my husband gave me a bracelet with his genitals on it. (genital =initial)

That is a great gift idea. I'm still hoping to get one of those from my ex-husband.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 25, 2003

Shew, bet that gift would stink on a hot day.

kellilou3 · Nov 25, 2003

Originally posted by LPN2Be2004
Shew, bet that gift would stink on a hot day.

HA! That is so nasty!!!

Streamlined · Dec 8, 2003

And don't you love all those people who take pregnisone? I'm also especially fond of those lucky people who had great results with that Lasix surgery on their eyes.

JaRrOd_MsTuDeNt · Dec 8, 2003

Originally posted by Streamlined
And don't you love all those people who take pregnisone? I'm also especially fond of those lucky people who had great results with that Lasix surgery on their eyes.

HA on the 'pregnisolone.' My Dad use to call prednisolone, prednizole (pred-ni-zole). I swear he does it now just to bug me

CraftyLPN · Dec 8, 2003

Was trying to educate a young mother on what "retractions" in breathing were for her 12 month old child.....

When I asked if she understood..she looked at me with seriousness and said,"Please explain again what I should do if my daughter starts to have CONTRACTIONS?":chuckle :chuckle

nursepenny · Dec 8, 2003

hi you guys,

gotta add my favs to the list:

massive myocardial infarction ==== massive internal fart

varicose veins ==== very close veins

fibroid tumors ==== fireball tumors

heimlech maneuver ==== hemlock remover

any one can count the seeds in an apple. only god can count the apples in a seed. anon.

athomas91 · Dec 9, 2003

heard a joke once.....

it involved the heimlich maneuver (heini lick maneuver....) great joke...