patient lingo...

flashpoint · Nov 19, 2003

We have a frequent flyer who is allergic to pilliacinin and sulfer...she also gets x-trays a lot because she falls and is prone to frassers.

Not that this matters, but it just drives me nuts when people say, "I'm bound," when they are consipated...makes me think of some wild and kinky S & M video or somehting...

:eek:

rollingstone · Nov 19, 2003

I work cardiac and heard the story of a nursing student asking what a patient's "ejaculation fraction" (ejection fraction) was. I laughed so hard I got the hiccups!

RN-PA, RN · Nov 19, 2003

Originally posted by V. Nightingale
One of my coworkers said "Sir, we need to put a tube in your pee-pee!" He raised his head, looked at her, and said totally seriously "It's my member, ma'am." Five minutes later when we all stopped laughing we DID manage to place the Foley.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

kevro1013 · Nov 19, 2003

I had a sweet lol (little old lady) once who had a pca pump and she kept dropping her administration button. When I went in to find it for her she said Where is my "SPICER UPPER"?

Right here tied to you sweetie...

ERNurse752, RN · Nov 19, 2003

I got the nauseation!!!!!!!!

TennNurse · Nov 19, 2003

One of our patients showed up on L&D, ready to be seduced. :eek: Another lady let me know that her surgery was supposed to be just on her bladder, but as long as they were in there, could they go ahead and remove her overalls? One of my favorite pts of all time was trying so hard to remember what her bedside commode was called, but gave up and told me urgently, "I want to pee in the white chair!"

And a lol in NM told me she had had immaculate conception for years (macular degeneration)

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 20, 2003

I had 4 straight weeks of I-Got-to-Have-a-Bowel-Movement

This woman was bowel-obsessed.

First she'd ring her bell. Ok so i'm in her room less than a minute later. She says "I got to have a bowel movement". Ok i help her up and help her and the IV pole to the bathroom.

But the ENTIRE 11 step trip to the bathroom this is the entire conversation she'd ALWAYS have with herself: "I should have a bowel movement, you know i'd like to have a bowel movement, i think i could have a bowel movement". She is not constipated, no laxatives, goes once a day at least if not twice. We've come to the conclusion that she just likes the words "bowel movement" therefore this is why she says them over and over the way she does.

Reason why i say this is that the ER called up this afternoon asking if we had a bed for The Bowel Movement Madame. And we knew who they meant instantly.

LilgirlRN, ADN, RN · Nov 20, 2003

direar = diarrhea

hiany herny = hiatal hernia

hickereckomy = hysterectomy

subdernal hematomy= subural hematoma (dern I fell)

Christmas = lady parts 92 year old lady told me that one

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 20, 2003

The Christmas term reminded me of a lady in the nursing home i cared for.

She kept telling me Tom itched. Ok, Tom who? When she POINTED to Tom i finally knew what she was meaning. Tom aka Cat aka P***y

:chuckle

robynrn2b · Nov 20, 2003

We have a nurse that drives me crazy, charts, "antibiodic." Since when is there a "d" in antibiotic? Also oxygen staturations. They're "saturations" for crying out loud!

ktwlpn, LPN · Nov 20, 2003

Originally posted by Hellllllo Nurse
I have actually had co-workers who use phrases/words like these. I worked with an LPN at an inpt hospice unit who charted every day, year in and year out that her pts were admitted for "system mange".

The correct phrase was "symptom managment" which we abbreviated as "sx mgmt".

I have an RN supervisor that charts " Skin scrapping obtained" every time she obtains one.....I have never tried to educate her....Life is too short

CountrifiedRN · Nov 20, 2003

"I got small veins, it's generic." (genetic)

"I had my technical shot last year." (tetorifice shot)

"I think I'm having one of them mycardia infarts" (No explanation necessary, hee)