Pathologically lying new colleague - any advice?

AlaBro2010 · Dec 31, 2012

I'm not so sure about how nursys works but isn't it possible her license was later added to nursys once the technology was updated? Also, sometimes there's several reasons why someone might move and your past becomes blurry. Perhaps at times she decides to only mention one. For example, I have always wanted to work at a clinic so working at a (public health) clinic like environment was perfect for me and I also have always wanted to be a women's health NP so I thought it would be perfect to see if I really like that type of patient care. Depending on my mood, I may give you one reason or two. I don't know why your coworkers account of her personal life makes her a pathological liar or an unsafe nurse. Maybe she just doesn't feel like sharing. I personally wouldn't care so much.

SaoirseRN · Dec 31, 2012

Another thought for you ...

Some people, for whatever reason (low self-esteem I suppose) feel that nobody will like who they really are, and will "embellish" themselves. Before they know it, they've gotten a bit tangled in the stories. It isn't malicious, but more a habit stemming from their own insecurity and desire to "fit in" or "be liked". Perhaps she is feeling overwhelmed and new and just wants people to be her friend.

That said, I don't know her, and she may be giving off an entirely different vibe. My best advice is, if nobody is getting hurt (patients in particular), and it then don't worry about it. However, pay attention and don't place trust in her until she has earned it, but don't completely shun her either.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Dec 31, 2012

She may have gotten her RN in 2007, but perhaps her LPN "back in the day". She could have had an inactive license for a lot of years. You never know what circumstances someone comes from. I would not pry, not sure why anyone felt the need to go and look up her license--seems a bit mean spirited. You are all there to do a job. I am not sure why you are so distressed over things as this RN's reason for moving is entirely none of your concern, and has absolutely nothing to do with her clinical expertise. If she is or is not lying about her personal life and her personal choices, this again has not a thing to do with the job she does, and you all don't have to be friends outside of work. What would concern me is your feeling of being distraught and your dread in going to work over this. Especially when you have noted there has been no questions about her level of skill. Leave the poor woman alone, stop attempting to find an issue when there's none, and if her "war stories" are upsetting or annoying to you, politely excuse yourself from the conversation.

allnurses Guide · Dec 31, 2012

I think you need to step back and give some thought to figuring out why she gets under your skin. She has a license in good standing. She performs her job duties in a competent manner. Why you feel it is your right to know anything more than that is the real question.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Dec 31, 2012

And just to note, you have an RN supervisor on your team as well. If the supervisor has an issue with this nurse, it is up to her to deal with it privately, not you. If you have clinical questions or need back up, the supervisor is available to you, hence why this dread of the RN in question is even more disturbing. Best advice? Go to work, do the job that you need to do to your ability, use your RN supervisor if needed for clincal difficulties, and for goodness sake stay out of this nurse's private life and history.

JDZ344 · Jan 1, 2013

Maybe her reason for moving is personal and she doesn't want to share it

She may have only got her RN in 2007, but may have been an LPN long before that.

DoeRN · Jan 1, 2013

Are you asking her all these questions or is she volunteering this information? The one thing that drives me crazy is for people I barely know to start asking a thousand and one questions about my personal life. If I want to talk about myself I will. Until then don't ask. Maybe she feels this way. If you are asking her questions stop what you are doing. You don't know her situation and unless she is endangering her patients, staff, not following policy and procedures, acting like a looney bin then go on about your day and leave her alone.

And as far as looking up her license that seems weird to me.

eatmysoxRN, ASN, RN · Jan 1, 2013

What else did she lie about to deem her worthy of the title of a pathological liar? If she is also new to the job, I imagine she feels stressed as well. Unless she lies about something related to patient care, I wouldn't be distraught over it... Worry about yourself and your patients. Don't stir up unnecessary drama.

~ No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent -Eleanor Roosevelt ~

Editorial Team / Admin · Jan 1, 2013

I agree with other posters- she may have been an LPN before becoming an RN (thus the paper test) and may not wish to disclose the reason for moving if it is quite personal (domestic violence, divorce/breakup, family issues, etc.). If it's not affecting patient care, you should mind your own business. And if you are asking questions, then stop, and let the nurse share what she's comfortable sharing about her personal life when she's ready to share it.

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Jan 2, 2013

I have to wonder how you can become so distraught over a co-worker and being so worried over her background in two weeks of work.

It's going to sound mean, but really it is none of your business or anyone else's about her background.

Are you rooming together?

You actually looked up her nurse's license? You are her co-worker not her manager or employer. Of course, you can certainly free to do that as a member of the public but honestly it sounds creepy. Are you going to run a background check on her next?

Take care of yourself and your business. I think maybe all the new changes particularly this time of year might be skewing your perception.

Good luck.

ohmeowzer RN, RN · Jan 2, 2013

yes maybe she was abused ot maybe she just dosen't want to tell everyone all her business and she feels compelled to say something to answer your questions.