Parents.....URRGGHHH

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Specializes in Primary Care, FNP, AGACNP, Palliative Care.

Okay so I leave in July for OBLC and then PCS to Fort Bragg. I finally told my mother and now she isn't talking to me at all. She is really upset, and I feel terrible. I am the only child and only grandchild, so of course she pulls this card. I am now really frustrated, because she should be happy for me, but instead all she keeps saying is that we are in a War. She won't even listen to my side of things. :crying2: My mother and I are really close, and this is the worst feeling ever. Has anyone else experienced this or had to tell there parents?

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Specializes in ED. ICU, PICU, infection prevention, aeromedical e.

Yes. I left home for the Army at 18 against everyone's wishes. They are scared for you. They don't know what will happen. I have an 18 year old and now I know that fear for her. I didn't get it when I was that age. I figured it was my life and I could do what I want. But mom's just never stop caring.

My mom became one of my biggest supports when I left. She's afraid of losing you now, but later she'll get behind you. Hang in there.

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Just to get a whole picture idea: how old are you?

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Specializes in Primary Care, FNP, AGACNP, Palliative Care.

I am 24 living on my own in NYC. I have been living on my own since 18 after I left for college and haven't been pack to my mothers house since. I work at NYU as a clinical researcher and I became a nurse through the 15 month second degree program. Basically to give you the big picture that I have been taking care of myself, but my mom was a single parent and we are very close. So she is really mad right now and that hurts me because she is my best friend.

P.S. Sorry for any mistakes responding from my phone.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

My stepfather is retired Army, and both he and my mother worked civil service for 30+ years. They are ecstatic that I'm planning on joining the Army Nurse Corps, but they know the deal, having been part of that world for years and years (and years!). Midinphx is right -- she's scared. Give her time, and before you know it, she'll be bragging about you to everyone.

Is she maybe upset because you didn't tell her until it was a done deal? Or did you expect this kind of reaction, and that's why you waited?

Hang in there!! *hugs*

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Specializes in EMT, ER, Homehealth, OR.

How close do you live from your mother? If you see her often she might be afraid that she will not see you as much as she does now. If that is the case she might be this way no matter what job you took if it was out of town.

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Specializes in Primary Care, FNP, AGACNP, Palliative Care.

I expected this reaction and that's why I just told her over the phone. I knew she would have a fit, because I have been mentioning the military since I was 18 and she always freaked out so I knew once I told her that I was leaving in July she would be ******.

I live in NYC and my mother lives in Jersey, but we hang out all the time and I spend with weekends with her. If I took a job out of town she would be sad, but I think it's really because it's Military. She thinks I'm going to die in a war or lose a limb. She freaked out.

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Specializes in Primary Care, FNP, AGACNP, Palliative Care.

I expected this reaction and that's why I just told her over the phone. I knew she would have a fit, because I have been mentioning the military since I was 18 and she always freaked out so I knew once I told her that I was leaving in July she was really upset.

I live in NYC and my mother lives in Jersey, but we hang out all the time and I spend with weekends with her. If I took a job out of town she would be sad, but I think it's really because it's Military. She thinks I'm going to die in a war or lose a limb. She freaked out.

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Specializes in ED.

Thats what most think nowadays. Shes just scared for you. Imagine if you were in her position.

I told my mom in advance that ill join the military, and shes scared that i would end up with PTSD since she works at the VA, she doesnt have prior service and got hired at the VA as an experienced civilian nurse. At first she would freak out, but eventually she slowly accepted it.

Your mom is just shocked at the moment, give her time to get to it.

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Specializes in Primary Care, FNP, AGACNP, Palliative Care.

Thanks everyone for your support and help!!!

Update: My mom came to visit me in the city this weekend, and we had dinner (but she never mentioned the military). On the flip side she wasn't angry, and the conversation/interaction was normal. We have talked everyday since then and we are talking about the military a little more each day. We have talked about a variety of things from APFT scores to making sure I have a reliable car while stationed at Bragg. Things are turning around, and I think in the end she will support me and be my biggest fan.:yeah: I will keep you all posted.

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This is good news, Raki. I'm glad to hear things are working out for you.

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Specializes in ICU.

I'm glad things are starting to smooth out for you.. I had the way kinda paved for me since my bro's already in but i can feel your frustration and sympathize. Just let her knowo you're going to OBLC AND Bragg already knowing someone :) hehe. Have you thought about having her talk to your recruiter or someone to get her questions/concerns answered? No matter what age we are, moms will be moms and feel the need to protect us to the best of their ability. We're lucky they care so much.. Lemme know if i can help at all!

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