I have run into this situation frequently this year. One parent in particular is troublesome about this. When I call home for a feverish or sick child or if the child has lice, the parent just says "I can't pick them up. I don't have a car". She was quite nasty about it when this last happened. The child/children end up staying in the front office or in my clinic all day, and we end up sending home on the bus despite the fact that it's against school policy to do so. This has happened several times this year with this parent. The principal doesn't want to make any waves with parents, so she goes along with it. I think in this case, Mom knows we don't do anything about it so it's of no consequence to her.
What do you do at your school? I'm getting tired of being a free babysitter....
Whoops, where did that come from? I usually just delete my passive aggressive comments before posting them. Back to my lurking cave... (this never happened).
Whoops, where did that come from? I usually just delete my passive aggressive comments before posting them. Back to my lurking cave... (this never happened).
I was once a sick kid vomiting in the office with patents who couldn't come get me. I lived an hour from the school and mom had taken our only car to a funeral. I didn't qualify for the day off for it as it was a family friend. No family to pick me up and no cell phones to call either (before cell phones). Dad was wheelchair bound, so getting in another vehicle besides mom's van she drove was awkward to impossible and he couldn't drive anyway. Our neighbors all worked.
I've been the parent stuck at work too. I was 2 hours away from the school doing a home health admission, my office was an hour from the school (& school wouldn't release my son to them because I can only have 3 names on his list), my husband was driving out of state, AND the sitter wasn't picking up her phone.....my 2 backup people were both out also (one literally giving birth & other having surgery).
Life DOES happen. I had 4 backup plans, but I couldn't help they all fell through on the same day. BTW, I got a new sitter after that. And added that anyone from my work could get my son if I called with the name and code word.
And that is SO different from the refusal to respond, the shut off or blocked cell phone issue. Huge difference between, cannot and will not. You could not. Some will not.
I'm not a school nurse (or a parent, for that matter) but I think I can relate in a very small way.
As I've mentioned, my first job out of college (but before nursing school) was working as a Case Manager in Community Mental Health. Part of my time there was with adults, and the other in the adolescent day treatment program.
It was so frustrating to witness the utter indifference some of the parents had for their children.
There seemed to be this idea that they (the parents) could be irresponsible and even absentee, but it would be fine because the schools and our program would "fix" their child. And heck, they couldn't possibly be the reason their children had problems in the first place!
I had parents/step-parents who would often not be home when I arrived for our in home meetings. Then if I was a couple of minutes late because of a previous appointment, the same parent who hadn't shown last time would berate me.
Parents seemed dismayed the children still had behavior issues after being in our program - despite the fact that many of these homes had various "uncles" streaming through (likely drug buys) and unsanitary conditions and parents who displayed bigoted and intolerant ideas.
I remember one woman, a single mother, who had a daughter with some developmental delays and difficulties with social interactions. Her daughter, our client, had trouble relating to the people and world around her. She was often a subject of bullying and teasing.
Once a louse was found on her head, and her mother, bless her heart, spent hours and hours combing, washing, and treating her daughter's hair. Her mom knew the girl didn't need another target on her back.
This mother was involved and devoted to her daughter and though things were difficult for the girl, she at least had stability and support, and love.
I wish I could say this mother was the rule and not the exception, but most parents didn't treat their children the way they should have been.
Too often we had parents who had lost multiple children to CPS and they were pregnant again!
Once we dropped off one of our kiddos after group, and when another group dropped off his sister, the case managers found his trailer on fire. The sad question was whether he'd done it to act out or because he was cold.
Our MSWs had terribly difficult jobs, too, dealing with a lot of these issues, and I was in awe of some of them.
So, I do get that too many parents just. don't. care.
The parents who *do* care likely will not understand the other side unless they've worked with such populations.
Thank God most parents are trying their best and love their children unconditionally.
Thank God those without the homes they deserve have people like these school nurses, teachers and social workers to help.
Have you seen this quote? Cant help thinking about it:
Students who are loved at home, come to school to learn, and students who aren't, come to school to be loved.
If only wehad a way of knowing which parents really cared, really were trying and struggling.....vs the ones who.dont.care. They exist, too, sadly. We know they do - because many of us had parents like those. Many of us see these kids in our lines of work, and many of us are really quite sad about how little we can do.
As a friend and CPS worker has said, "Remember, it only takes one adult to make a difference in the life of a child."
Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
All I ask is that parents be honest with me. I am very sympathetic to the working parent. If they let me know they are unable to pick up the student, I try to let them stay with me in the clinic, if possible. I am not sympathetic to the parents who say they will be there is 15 minutes, and then won't answer their phone for the rest of the day.
Thank you for this. As a single parent, I rely on the staff at my sons after school program. They are a G-d send.
Im in a situation, I have called this parent several times on two separate phones hoping she would pick up one. Her friend picks up and says Ashley is sick and I don't know what time we will be able to get there. I precede to tell her I had prior plans but she cut me off and hung up the phone. I preceded to call no answer . I text her that I had prior plans I need someone to come get the kids. No reply. Hours go by still no answer. Finally the friend picks up. I ask her can she come get the kids she says no . I ask for the address so I can at least drop them off she says no. I tell the friend someone needs to get the kids and there will be a late fee. Another hour has gone by. I haven't heard or spoken to mom and I don't want to legally be responsible for kids this late on a Friday. It's 11p now. I was thinking of calling the police. I have called again and still no answer.... Any suggestions
I see this often (especially LICE kiddos). I had one yesterday with a child who had severe pain with sx UTI (that she said she's been telling parent's about for 3 days). Nobody can come pick her up for X,Y,Z reason. I let the poor girl rest in my office until the end of the day, with instructions to the parent to get her to MD ASAP after school. If she is in school today with same sx and no MD visit, I'm thinking I might have to that a harder approach. Even though she isn't 'contagious'.. UTIs are PAINFUL and it's unfair to expect this child to suffer. I did have her drink lots of water all afternoon and instructed her to drink more daily, but I'm not sure what else I can do for her. Any ideas?
What you're describing is medical neglect and as a mandatory reporter, a call to CPS. That child needs medical care before it turns into something more, such as sepsis.
Im in a situation, I have called this parent several times on two separate phones hoping she would pick up one. Her friend picks up and says Ashley is sick and I don't know what time we will be able to get there. I precede to tell her I had prior plans but she cut me off and hung up the phone. I preceded to call no answer . I text her that I had prior plans I need someone to come get the kids. No reply. Hours go by still no answer. Finally the friend picks up. I ask her can she come get the kids she says no . I ask for the address so I can at least drop them off she says no. I tell the friend someone needs to get the kids and there will be a late fee. Another hour has gone by. I haven't heard or spoken to mom and I don't want to legally be responsible for kids this late on a Friday. It's 11p now. I was thinking of calling the police. I have called again and still no answer.... Any suggestions
This is not an appropriate place for this question to be directed
If I parent tells me their situation and it is dire, I am going to do everything I can to help them (even babysit their kid if that is the need). What gets me is the nasty ones who flat out refuse and act like their own kid is NOT their responsibility.
Atlas15
3 Posts
Whoops, where did that come from? I usually just delete my passive aggressive comments before posting them. Back to my lurking cave... (this never happened).