PANICKED! Missed first day of ORIENTATION, is it all over???

Nurses General Nursing

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I missed the first day of orientation at the hospital where I was supposed to start working. The next day is tomorrow, and then nurse orientation starts next week.

If I showed up tomorrow do you thnk they would let me make up what I missed today?

Would they still let me participate and go on with the employment process???

I was just sitting here and all of a sudden had this panic attack. I feel like I need to do something...if I show up with my hat in my hand what will they do??? I thought it just wouldn't work out but remember when that kid on A Christmas Story got put on the slide and had to turn aroiund and clammer his way back up to talk to Santa? I feel like that. Do you think the hospital will do like Santa in that movie and use the tip of his boot to push me down the slide?

Specializes in Med-Surg.

I'm a bit confused at the fact that you said this place is 450 miles away. Anyone else notice that? You mentioned that you would have to drive all night to get there, so here's the impression I'm getting from what you've said so far: this job doesn't appear to be one where you can just hop in your car and be there in 30 minutes. You have to make plans to drive the 450 miles to get there which means you would have to know at least a day or so in advance whether or not you would go. How were you planning to get there, where would you stay? This doesn't seem like a day trip to me. My gut tells me that if you didn't make these plans ahead of time then you weren't planning to go at all and that it wasn't a last minute decision. But please fill us in on the whole travel part with 450 miles, I'm a bit confused. Thanks!

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Specializes in Oncology.

I'm kinda confused. You were suppose to start work today, in another state 450 miles away, and not only missed it (because you weren't sure if you accepted the job?), but are still 450 miles away and haven't made any efforts at moving or finding accommodations yet?

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Specializes in Psych, LTC, Acute Care.
I'm kinda confused. You were suppose to start work today, in another state 450 miles away, and not only missed it (because you weren't sure if you accepted the job?), but are still 450 miles away and haven't made any efforts at moving or finding accommodations yet?

She posted that she turned down the job that was 450 miles away because she was going to stay a the nursing home and be a ADN2 at the nursing home that she has worked at for 9 years. She really wanted to work at the hospital 450 miles away but was feeling pressured by the DON at the nursing home. I have been following some of her post and she has toyed with this decision for quite some time. I am guessing she is on the road because she has not replied back. I did not realize the job was that far. That's several states away. I guess she will figure it out?

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Your behavior might give the impression that you're a little flaky but what do you have to lose by just showing up and trying to talk your way in?

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I'm a bit confused at the fact that you said this place is 450 miles away. Anyone else notice that? You mentioned that you would have to drive all night to get there, so here's the impression I'm getting from what you've said so far: this job doesn't appear to be one where you can just hop in your car and be there in 30 minutes. You have to make plans to drive the 450 miles to get there which means you would have to know at least a day or so in advance whether or not you would go. How were you planning to get there, where would you stay? This doesn't seem like a day trip to me. My gut tells me that if you didn't make these plans ahead of time then you weren't planning to go at all and that it wasn't a last minute decision. But please fill us in on the whole travel part with 450 miles, I'm a bit confused. Thanks!

I agree. If I were the recruiter or employment coordinator, I would doubt any sincerity in wanting the job. It wasn't important enough to remember a 5 or 6 hour drive, but now all the sudden it is? What changed?

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It wasn't a mistake! I wrote them an email and apologized because I didn't think I could take the job, they know I've been having a lot of trouble with deciding. They've been nothing but nice and told me God will lead the way.

The evil nursing home tried to make me feel guilty for leaving and caused me a lot of grief. This just made life harder for me.

But I want to give it a try now! What will they say???

Good grief. The "evil nursing home" made you feel guilty, and that's evidently your excuse for missing the first day of orientation?

Sorry to be blunt, but it sounds like you need to take responsibility for yourself.

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LOLOLOLOL. A lesson to be learned here: making assumptions before having all the facts is bad business.

I was mostly talking to the folks who have been nice enough to follow with the drama and angst I've been dealing with over taking or not taking this job, but for the ones who feel they know the answers I will clarify...I worked at this nursing home for 9 years. All the sudden, they started cutting my hours. Some paychecks, they were cut in half. So, I went looking for another job. Turns out none of the hospitals are hiring around Nashville (they have either contracted with nursing schools to get their new grads or were looking for specialty nurses) so I applied all the way in my home state of Arkansas. Baptist Med Center in Little Rock was nice enough to offer me a job (day shift on top of that) and I could go live with my mother in Conway. So I made arrangements to go. Of course, after giving a proper 2 week notice.

So, I give the nurisng home notice and they tell me since I'm an RN I'm supposed to give 30 days notice. I told them I didn't get a notice when I had my hours cut in half, and that is kind of where it ended for about a week. Then, I started getting called into meetings and asked what they could do to get me to stay. The DON would follow me around and say things like, I can't beg you but I really want you to stay and assuring me this hospital wouldn't be flexible and work with me while I am in NP school but *they* would, I had a much better opportunity with them, they didn't think I would like the job at the hospital...on and on and on. They just kept needling me. This put doubt in my mind and made me start to feel guilty. I've got this motherly side to me, this caring female side that wants to not disappoint people so...I was kind of sitting on the fence for awhile.

This was the kind of thing that kept me up at night and I contacted the CNO at the hospital and she was very understanding and told me to do what was best for me. They liked me and the nursing home gave me a shining reference and apparently told the CNO they were trying to keep me from leaving because she didn't act surprised. I even went to see her before orientation was to start.

I decided the cards were just too stacked against me (due to family issues as well) on Sunday and became disheartened and didn't show up on Monday. Sunday night I sent a email to the CNO with a big apology. Yesterday, I panicked because I fell I was throwing away a good opportunity and didn't care how flaky I was (I'm flaky, end of story!) so I contemplated driving all night to be at the second day of orientation but my husband wouldn't give me the keys to my car so I could go-he decided it was too late and I needed to stay. So, really, I'm like a monkey in a cage at this point, and I may as well give up.

So, this wasn't some half-baked, willy-nilly journey through the Fruit Loop forest, there was a lot of angst involved and sleepless nights wondering about what to do. If the nursing home hadn't started with their manipulation tactics the decision would have been much easier.

I was looking forward to getting away from my control freak husband, because he was going to stay here, but now that's pretty much been nipped in the bud.

When I go back to work I'm going to tell Bob the DON that when an employee gives their notice because they've accepted another job somewhere else it's BAD BUSINESS to ask them to stay, much less KEEP asking them.

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Specializes in NICU Level III.

Your HUSBAND took your keys and decided for you that you shouldn't take this job? Sounds like there are more than a few issues to be resolved here...

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I would say the DON's (and husband's) strategy actually worked if you are planning on staying. Ultimately it is only up to you...I wish you luck in whatever decision you make!

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Specializes in Psych, LTC, Acute Care.
Your HUSBAND took your keys and decided for you that you shouldn't take this job? Sounds like there are more than a few issues to be resolved here...

I agree! Now the picture is coming together. I am sorry that you are in such of a bad situation. Your husband is manipulating this situation because he doesn't want you to leave and you don't have enough courage to go.Your boss on your current job is doing the same thing to you. I feel so bad for you, your in a tough situation. I hope you work on your assertiveness and make your situation better. Don't let your job or relationships control your life and your destiny. God Bless You Jo!

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

I agree, your problem is much more than whether or not you should or could take this particular job. I hadn't read your other thread, sorry.

I think your writings here are a cry for help, that you are in an abusive marriage with, at the very least a controlling and dominating man.

I think you should find someone, in real life, to reach out to about this. It's fine to discuss things in a forum such as this, but there's nothing to replace realtime help from local resources.

God Bless you...

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Your husband took your keys? Um.... Huh?

What does HE have to say about moving? You're certainly not going to commute that distance daily... Or were you leaving him?

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