Open letter from New Nurse to Supervisors, Experienced Nurses

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I've been a nurse for about three months now, two months out of orientation. Last week I had a meeting with my DON that has left me rattled. While I don't think she meant to demoralize me (and really compared to some posts I've read, I work at a great place with very helpful people), and the areas she brought up that I need to improve upon are valid, here is what I wish I had had the courage to say to her and hope that other supervisors, experienced nurses and new nurses who are struggling can find insight and courage from it:

"I understand that there are some mistakes that can't be made due to the seriousness of them. But, I feel like I am expected to perform as though I had years of experience as a nurse. And that's not fair. I need to know that I can have room to grow and develop, that there are certain things that take time to grow into, that only come with time and experience. I'm doing the best that I can and will try every shift to improve in those areas that I am deficient in. But, I can't do more than my best. Of course it's only natural for a new nurse to hear about those things that she/he is doing wrong and I thank you for pointing them out, because that's how one learns and develops. But, a new nurse also needs to hear about those things she/he is doing right. A little encouragement can go a long way! Otherwise, she/he is bound to feel like no matter how hard she/he tries, it won't matter, that it won't be enough and then she'll be another nurse who quit what could have been a great career."

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

Thank you for sharing your insights! It is always a struggle when you are new but it will get easier with time. Unfortunately it has been my experience (over 20 yrs in nursing) that most managers will not tell nurses when things are going well/what you are doing right. I don't know why, I have had plenty of non nursing jobs where managers have provided positive feedback and encouragement. Please do not take it personally/take it to heart. If you know which areas are your weaknesses I would reach out for help. At least your are in a supportive environment which is half the battle.

I have tried to provide that positive feedback to new nurses or when in that position (charge etc). Hopefully you will remember this when you are in that position and be able to help others later. Good luck to you!

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I said something similar to my nurse manager when I was a new graduate, and I'm pretty sure it kept me from getting fired while I was still on orientation.
I didn't care about encouragement, but I made an passionate speech about the unreasonable exceptions placed on me after six whole weeks EVER in healthcare. I'm proud of it until this day. I would have received a standing ovation if I'd had an audience of more than one person. ?

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

There are ways to give feedback that don’t sting quite as much. Chin up young nurse. Sounds like your manager is still learning too.

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Specializes in ER.

I understand your pain but unfortunately most managers don't want to hear why you are struggling they only want you NOT to struggle. I would make sure and get everything in writing and I would reply to everything in writing. My manager knows that any conversation she has with me I request in writing so I may reply in writing therefore it is official. What you wrote was actually impressive and I would consider sending an email to your DON as a response to her evaluation. Other than that, being a new grad I would say don't take it personal. I train new grads in the ER all the time, and the first thing I tell them is leave the tears and drama at the door. We are professionals and nothing I tell you is personal its just the career we have chosen. I always remind them that this takes time to master maybe even a few years before you will be comfortable with most critical procedures. The most important teaching I do is actually how to stand up to management and other RN's who find it enjoyable to put down new grads. I have been told by my preceptees that this has prevented many a crying episode because now they walk around with confidence enough to not take any !@#$ from anyone.

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I understand the sentiment behind your letter, and it's always nice to sandwich constructive feedback between positive feedback. New grad RNs are legally held to the standard of RNs from day 1, which can be challenging.

I disagree with the previous poster who suggested really sending your message though because it is largely feelings-based. Instead, remember how you felt upon receiving constructive feedback only so that one day, when you're precepting/managing, you can approach evaluation conversations the better way! In the meantime, maybe keep a journal of a few things you are proud of each shift. Then, even if you aren't getting desired affirmations from management, you will remember you're still doing good work and improving each day.

Unfortunately one month of orientation is inadequate for new grads, and now your DON is realizing that novice nurses with inadequate training don't magically become experts, but instead of looking at how to better prepare you, she's looking at your shortcomings. If you agree with her feedback and feel there are areas where you need improvement beyond just time/experience, perhaps you could ask for an additional week or two to be paired with a preceptor. Now that you've been independent for 2 months, you'd know which questions to ask, which areas you need to improve in, and could focus on learning to better organize and prioritize your care, little tricks of the trade to simplify your workload, etc. She may say no because of the expense/staffing, but it can't hurt to ask. Either way, take advantage of the experienced nurses around you and soak in their guidance whenever you can. Ask lots of questions, jump in if there's a chance to learn a new procedure, etc. Learning takes time.

I wish you the best!

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Well written and well thought out. Speaking from my own experience, most managers really do want to be the manager you seek and some of them even pull it off. Most fail from time to time, just like the nurses they supervise. In an ideal world we would all always be an exceptional person...but then of course we wouldn't be recognized as exceptional, would we?

Musings aside, you seem to have your head on straight and are reasonable. DO NOT actually send that letter, keep it for yourself and pull it out when you become Nurse Manager somewhere. It will help guide and remind you ?

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Good Morning, I enjoy reading all the articles. This one in particular made me sad. My daughter is a new grad December 2018. She got hired in June in a very large for profit ER in Inglewood Calif. Orientation consisted of a different preceptor every shift. Some who actually said, I don't want a new grad today, no offense. They have 4 patients each. Possibly all with high acuity. When a procedure was ordered, IV, NGT, Foley, the preceptor said go try it and if you miss I will do it. And the preceptor wasn’t at bedside. My daughter is being told its all about speed and getting the patients discharged. My daughter is smart, compassionate and wants to be a good ER nurse. What she is hearing is “hurry up, your too slow”. This worries me. I have been an ER RN since 1986. The other day she had a preceptor that graduated from her school one semester before her. To me that is a new grad. I read the patient reviews from this hospital and the complaints are valid. I wish administration would read these reviews. My advice to my daughter is do what you know is right. Do not cut corners just because someone tells you to. Look up a medication you are not familiar with prior to giving it. I told her you can not get in trouble for doing the right thing,, but the wrong move can cost you your license. And you all worked too hard to have that happen because some one tells you you are too slow. I am so disgusted I would like to call the DON, but writing here helped. My daughter is not confrontational and is a kind hearted , eager to be the best ER nurse she can be. Good luck to all of you new grads struggling with this issue

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I am new to posting. How do I see the reply’s. Says 7 replies but I dont see any. Thanks

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

I have a manager like this. It's just not her style and I don't like it, especially for her new workers. Maybe it's an age thing, I went to a workshop where they boomer workers aren't quick to praise, nor to they care about being praised a lot, but other generations do and need more of it.

You are going to have to find the courage deep within you that when criticized to say just what you wrote or something similar. "Thanks for the feedback, I will try to do better, but please know I'm doing my best. Any encouraging words for me?". Any decent manager would take that well.

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Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
16 hours ago, diane e said:

I am new to posting. How do I see the reply’s. Says 7 replies but I dont see any. Thanks

The replies are to the main post, not specifically to your comment. They are on the same page you posted on.

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