lorias

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has felt this way. I too sometimes feel guilty for past med errors that I didn't own up to, but this was in the past and thankfully they weren't really serious ones that caused harm to the patient (such as giving wrong meds). I am the type of person that is very hard on myself and will beat myself up over mistakes made. But, I would say to the OP that you must move on and like the other nurses have said, learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself. That is what I've been trying to do. So true that only Jesus is perfect and He would tell you to lay your guilt at his feet and leave it there. All the constant berating of yourself will do is zap your confidence as a nurse and take away your peace and joy. Yes, we should always own up to our mistakes and that is what I have learned over the past almost two years I've been a nurse. I don't know what your specific situation is, but maybe a different environment would help you to make a fresh start. We are always hardest on ourselves it seems, which is unfortunate. Best wishes to you.

Thank you amoLucia. I also thought Missa's comments were out of line. We certainly did not just let the resident die and to say she hopes our facility gets sued was not appropriate.

Yes she was a Do Not Resuscitate.

I know. It is sickening the way the nursing "profession" isn't like other professions. At the same time we get into trouble when things don't go the way others think they should. I did not go to nursing school to become a glorified maid! I guess it also depends on what area of nursing one goes into. I'm sure an LTC nurse like me is more apt to do "maid" type things than say an informatics or forensic nurse.

There's a difference between doing duties that are on your unit such as passing out trays to the residents or helping them to the bathroom because the CNAs are busy than filling in for the laundry staff. Nope not going to do it! There are many other positions where it is OK to not do certain things because of your position, but when it comes to nursing we're supposed to do anything? When I see the doctor fold laundry then I'll think about it.

I disagree that the nurse should be doing the job of a laundry person. We didn't go to school and go through all the hell we went through to be told that we can do the duties of a non-skilled person. Would they tell the PT person or Dietician or Respiratory Therapist to do these types of jobs? If not then neither should the nurse be told to do them. It's demeaning.

I've been feeling bad the past few days since a resident at a LTC where I'm a nurse died unexpectantly on my shift. When I say unexpectantly I mean she was not in the dieing processl, not that she wasnt very sick. She had COPD and chf and wasnt always compliant with her breathing treatments in that she would refuse the maak nebulizers in favor of the pipe, but did these poorly. She almost died a few weeks ago when she started having trouble breathing due to a lot of fluid in her lungs and throat. At this time she got suctioning and because wasnt fully conscience, got a mask neb treatment. She recovered and was doing OK for a while until last week she decided that she was going to not do the mask nebs but only pipe. This meant she would not be getting the full benefit of the treatment, but we could not force her to do the mask nebs. A few nights ago on my shift, she started to have audible gurgles and labored breathing. She had just had her scheduled breathing treatment, using the pipe about 15 minutes before. Her o2 sats were in the 50s. I put oxygen nasal canula 3L on her and then gave her another neb treatment, this time with the mask. Her sats got to 69 but woulnt improve past this. About five minutes into the neb treatment she took off the mask saying she couldnt breathe. I tried to get her to leave the mask on but she wouldnt. She had refused suctioning when this all started but now asked for it. This is the part I feel bad about. I went to get the suction machine and it was not hooked up properly and ready to go. Being a fairly new nurse I did not know how to get it hooked up correctly so I called the nurse from the other unit who came to help me. We got it hooked up and I began suctioning my resident. This was maybe 5 to 10 minutes between when I went to get the machine and when I started suctioning. Once we started suctioning my resident did not improve but went downhill. Her sats started to drop into the 50s, then 40s and was 38 at one point. The other nurse suggested high flow oxygen which we did at 5L. We continued with the mask neb treatment which was still hooked up. Nothing worked and my resident died. She was a DNR. The other nurse said we did everything we could but that her heart had probably just gave out. She did say that if the suctioning machine had been ready it may have made a difference but she also said at the same time that this resident was very full of fluid that it may not have made a difference. I just feel so bad because I should have known how to hook up the suction machine but had to call the other nurse. Also I think I was the one who hadnt hooked it back up correctly after it was used on this same resident the time she almost died. At that time I called for an emergency because this resident was turning blue and our acute floor charge nurse came and suctioned my resident at that time. It was my job to get the machine ready to use should it be needed. Im not positive it was me who didn't hook it up right but it probably was. The other nurse who was helping me this last time just said to remind staff to hook the machine up so its ready to use right away. Should I feel bad or is this a case of I did everything I could with what I had at the time?

That's my point. The goals aren't specific. It's vague, like work on critical thinking and decision making. The person guiding me is treating it like an orientation, but also reporting back to the manager. I asked about what happens after the two weeks and was told we'd have to wait and see how I do over these two weeks. Doesn't exactly give me a warm feeling of job security.

Yes, I have six and a half years contract with the nursing home. I have a former classmate who had the same contract, but got another job somewhere else who paid off the contract.

We also have a med aide, but this person isn't a nurse so I'm responsible for that person in the same way I am for the CNA's. Why we can't have another nurse rather than a CMA is beyond me. Would be so much better. I guess it's cheaper to have a CMA rather than another nurse.

To be fair, I usually have 5 CNAs to help me and most of the residents don't require my constant attention, but nevertheless I am responsible for 35+ residents. I do feel that I have been treated unfairly in that another co-worker of mine received 20 additional orientation days for the night shift because that was the shift she would be working on top of the four weeks we both received and she was not on a "written warning" probation, but rather just the usual 90-day probation that everyone is on when starting a job. I have worked night and evening and now will be just on evenings, but I didn't get additional orientation until they decided I wasn't performing up to par. The thing about applying to other jobs is that I live in a small town and the nearest other hospital to me is 45 miles, but that hospital has had problems. Otherwise, I'd have to travel 75 miles. And I'm under a 6 1/2 year contract because they paid for my schooling. I thought it would be a 5 year contract, but the cost ended up being more than originally told to me. I didn't think that was fair either.

Over the two weeks I have another nurse following me.

I want to know if this is the correct way to evaluate a new nurse. I have been a nurse for almost 4 months and was put on a performance improvement plan because of med errors and according to my supervisor "not performing at the level of the other nurses on the unit." While she has told me a handful of specific things I have done wrong, when I ask her for tangible goals to work on, she says that nursing is,not black and white, that she can't just check off a list of goals to determine whether I've improved or not. For example, I have to work on critical thinking but she can't tell me how to do this. It's like she's saying improve in these areas, but we can't tell you specifics on how to improve, but you need to improve. How do I know if I'm improving when the so called performance improvement plan is so vague? I came up with goals on my own and at first she was impressed with them but then later says that it's not that black and white. Feel like I'm at the whim of her subjective feelings about my performance as a nurse. I realize that some things can't be measured, but still, this doesn't seem right to me. Am I wrong? And she said I am performing at the bottom compared to the other nurses. But, that would make since since the others on the unit except for one have 2 or more years,experience in the area I work in. The other has 7 months.

Yes you are right. This experience has opened my eyes to the fact that this is serious business and I have to look at everything as important. I need to take responsibility for myself and protect my license and my future. Thank you. I asked the DON where I work what happens after the two week probation if im still not performing up to their standards and she said lets nust wait and see. I didnt like that answer.

Hello, I work in a LTC facility and am in charge of 35-40 residents, which is my first job as a nurse. I have been off orientation for 2 1/2 months and last week found out that I am on a 2-week probation where another nurse has to follow me. The terms of the probation are that I have to improve in documentation, critical thinking, decision making and staff supervision. I have made five med errors since I started. Two were before I started orientation when I was asked to work as the med aide. My supervisor says that this was a training issue. Another was because I didn't write the order fast enough so the med aide gave a resident aspirin that should have been on hold. Another was when I answered an alarm and was interrupted in dispensing a resident's meds and still another was when a resident wanted something for pain and there wasn't anything to give her according to her eMAR, so I asked another nurse and she said "she gets a hydro." This nurse worked exclusively on this unit ans was very experienced. So, I gave this since the med card was still in the cart. I'm not making excuses for these med errors, just some background. Then a few weeks ago, I found out that me and three other nurses were reported anonymously to the BON for med errors in which the complainant said I had 18 med errors, which is false. My supervisor also thinks this claim is bogus. I know I need to improve in certain areas, but I'm feeling like I didn't get the training that some other nurses have gotten. One nurse who works a different shift was told that since she will be working that shift exclusively, she was given almost a month of orientation on just that shift. I will be working evenings and got 5 days of orientation. My supervisor says that "you don't know what you don't know", but at the same time says "we can't teach you everything." I didn't think I was doing a bad job other than the med errors until I was put on probation. I thought that I would have time to grow and develop in my role. Anyway, has anyone else felt discouraged early in their nursing career? And if so, what did you do about it? I sometimes feel like I want to get into my car and just drive far, far away from nursing and never look back! It was only after I was having problems that my supervisor gave me a mentor (just someone that I could ask questions to, but nothing like formal meetings or formal training) and told me that we have a training computer program. Anyway, I plan on writing down concrete goals and then keeping track of what I do each shift that shows I am developing in the areas I need to improve in.