Only a nurse would say......

Nurses Humor

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The other day another nurse and I are on the way out of the hospital in the parking garage. The smell of rotting eggs is suddenly hanging in the air. The other nurse says "Ewwww, what the heck smells like Mucomyst?!?"

LOL. Us nurses are changed forever the day we step into a facility.

Do you have any other "Only a nurse would say...." stories?

as I was leaving the other day from a nite-shift-from-hell I passed one of our residents goin in for the day all I could tell him was, "No one died last night!!"

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Man, you've got great veins!

I find myself looking at the big veins of men with well built arms. I could hit it from yards away.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

Yes we WANT you to fart - that's something to celebrate in a hospital!

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In response to an insult, cuss word, or whatever "That's not appropriate"

Where on earth did we get this from and why do we keep saying it?

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Specializes in NICU.

Can you waste with me?

He can go home when he's nippling all. (Nipple is a verb in the NICU.)

Seven o'clock is the happiest time of the day! (12-hour shifts)

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Specializes in Level 1 trauma.

You know you are a nurse when discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal.

You know you are a nurse when you compliment a complete stranger on his veins.

You know you are a nurse when you find yourself betting on someone's alcohol level.

You know you are a nurse when you know that K-Y jelly is optional.

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Specializes in Level 1 trauma.

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they just tell a nursing assistant to do it..

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Specializes in I/DD.
Can you waste with me?

How about when you routinely belt out "Can I get a witness?"

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Make sure you don't flush so I can see your BM.

Throw up in this basin so I can see it.

Spit in this so I can see what color it is.

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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.
lol. mmmmm. Dopamine pie.

I said the same thing!!! 3 other people smelled it and thought i was crazy.....it really does smell like rhubarb!!! (well, to US anyway)

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I think insulin smells like dirty old men, well at least it smells like my husband after he's worked a 12

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Specializes in SNU/SNF/MedSurg, SPCU Ortho/Neuro/Spine.

Dilute it in a 10ml, all she wants is the rush

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