Only a nurse would say......

[enigmaticorange]

The other day another nurse and I are on the way out of the hospital in the parking garage. The smell of rotting eggs is suddenly hanging in the air. The other nurse says "Ewwww, what the heck smells like Mucomyst?!?"

LOL. Us nurses are changed forever the day we step into a facility.

Do you have any other "Only a nurse would say...." stories?

[WinterpegLPN]

How about when you routinely belt out "Can I get a witness?"

One time I said this to someone

"Can I get a witness"

"wasting narcotics?"

"No, I found Jesus!"

OK, too cheezy but I get quirky when I'm tired.

[beckster_01, BSN, RN]

I'm the same way... by the end of a night shift I'm like a different person! My sense of humor ranges from a little bit wacky to inappropriate. For example, my manager was telling a story about a creepy guy in the parking lot when her and a new hire were walking to their cars together (our parking lot is ~15 minute walk outside the hospital)...I kind of interrupted her.

Manager: "I didn't want her to get abducted because--"

Me: "--Then we would be short staffed!"

Manager: "No....not quite what I was going to say..."

I actually don't remember what she actually wanted to say because her look was pretty priceless

[Hygiene Queen]

In response to an insult, cuss word, or whatever "That's not appropriate"

Where on earth did we get this from and why do we keep saying it?

I have grown to despise that phrase!!

[beckster_01, BSN, RN]

Last night I realized that I consider it a complement when a patient calls me a PITA- and I'm not talking about the bread- it actually makes me happy/proud of myself! And only a nurse would consider it devastating when both the electronic charting system at work AND allnurses go through major interface (? If that's the right word) changes within two weeks of each other. You mean things have to CHANGE?!?

[Sehille4774]

The other night my sister was reading riddles to me and we were trying to guess the answers.

Sister: "A man dies of thirst but he had plenty of water..how did this happen?"

Me: Screamed excitedly from downstairs: "He has diabetes insipidus! Give him some DDAPV!"

Sister: (with exasperation): It's not that kind of question! The answer is he was shipwrecked in the middle of the ocean on a raft"

Me: Awww .....

Lol!

[Wonderlost]

This is not something I have said, but a quote from Nurse Jackie that cracks me up...

"Vomit away from the ear Zoe!!"

[rnsrgr8t]

I work in urology and we are always asking parents to describe hematuria in relationship to beverages.... pink lemonade, cranberry juice, tomato juice etc. I did have one parent compare it to different types of wine (blush, merlot etc :)). Funny how I can still drink them and not think anything about it!

[tojal1989]

Had a similar situation.. I was training with another nurse and the pt with a trach asks "can you deep throat me". The nurse stepped out of the room and was dying laughing. I just said, yes we will deep SUCTION you lol

[sandyfeet]

Not an RN who said this, but still would sound weird outside of a hospital:

(determining the need for a lumbar puncture)

"Yeah, I'd tap that".

[nursecat64]

AAHGG I'll never eat cookie dough again!!:barf01:

[uRNmyway, ASN, RN]

Wow, well thats kind of offensive. I dont know about where YOU work but nurses here do more than just delegate

[uRNmyway, ASN, RN]

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they just tell a nursing assistant to do it..

My previous comment was in response to this