Old nurse won't retire

[Emergent]

I have a work friend, we'll call her Barbara, at my side job. She's over 70 and works part time in the ER of a tiny hospital. Since I've worked there she's given several deadlines of when she's going to retire, the latest of which was this October. She made a beaded necklace with the amount of beads of days left, taking one bead off at a time, sharing with everyone, even the DNS, who took her off on the Oct schedule.

I talked to her yesterday and she let me know that she's changed her mind again. She says that with the cold days approaching, this isn't the right season to retire, she'll just be sitting in her house. She said that she only has to give 3 weeks notice, and hasn't done that yet, and was upset that she was off the October schedule.

Barbara is a very likable woman, but frankly, she needs to retire. She is not very fit, and limps with a bad leg. She calls in frequently, which has a bigger impact on a small hospital. She never had kids and her husband died years ago. She doesn't seem to have hobbies.

I'm afraid that management will start writing her up for her attendance to get rid of her. Even though I love her, she doesn't pull her weight anymore. I don't want to sign up for shifts with her and have to do 3/4 of the work. It'd be a shame to see her be forced out.

One time she told me to let her know when she is starting to slip. Well, that's been going on for a while, but people are being patient since she's been sharing with all about her impending retirement. She needs to retire with dignity as planned .

[Emergent, RN]

Just an update.

I have talked many times with Barbara before about the subject of retirement. She once told me to let her know if she's not keeping up. I've texted her twice, now I'll leave her in management's hands. I won't be signing up for any shifts with her.

She's told me that the main reason she works is for the socialization and that nursing is such a big part of her identity. She's already collecting social security. Her previous plan was to raise puppies for profit and fun. I thought that was a sweet plan. I don't know why she never had kids, she never volunteered that, and I never asked.

I think she's hanging on too long. My feeling is that this current management will start targeting her for write ups to make the paper trail to give her the sack. I'm annoyed that she would do that to herself but am washing my hands of the matter.

[TriciaJ, RN]

Working for socialization? That floors me. I always found that work cramped my socialization style. Never could get a whole break or a break with someone I wanted to catch up with. And after work always too tired and too much other stuff to do. Now I'm retired, and I actually get to socialize. I love it. Unless one actually needs the paycheque, working is a dumb idea. Too many other things (including volunteer work) that satisfy the same (non-financial) needs as a paying job.

Unless she's keeping mum about financial difficulties, Barbara could be getting a whole new lease on life.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Yeah working in an ER for socialization reasons is a bad idea. We are there to help patients. If other people are doing 75% of her work like the OP states they should stop. That's classic nurse codependent behavior.

[OldDude]

Yeah working in an ER for socialization reasons is a bad idea. We are there to help patients. If other people are doing 75% of her work like the OP states they should stop. That's classic nurse codependent behavior.

Hey, that might be a good professional goal for a resume, "Older nurse seeking to fulfill position in busy ER for socialization purposes...no hands on patient care."

I'm in!!

[OldDude]

Just an update.

I have talked many times with Barbara before about the subject of retirement. She once told me to let her know if she's not keeping up. I've texted her twice, now I'll leave her in management's hands. I won't be signing up for any shifts with her.

She's told me that the main reason she works is for the socialization and that nursing is such a big part of her identity. She's already collecting social security. Her previous plan was to raise puppies for profit and fun. I thought that was a sweet plan. I don't know why she never had kids, she never volunteered that, and I never asked.

I think she's hanging on too long. My feeling is that this current management will start targeting her for write ups to make the paper trail to give her the sack. I'm annoyed that she would do that to herself but am washing my hands of the matter.

You tried!!

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Yeah working in an ER for socialization reasons is a bad idea. We are there to help patients. If other people are doing 75% of her work like the OP states they should stop. That's classic nurse codependent behavior.

What people often mean when they say that is that they want to work in order to be out in the world, interacting with others, and in the case of nursing, helping others-both patients and families. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I stayed home with both of my children for a period of time. I remember feeling I was doing the right thing, but at the same time, I longed for interaction with other adults; I missed my co-workers and I missed the interactions I had with patients, their families, and others in the health care team.

It's a perfectly valid point of view.

[Aunt Slappy]

What people often mean when they say that is that they want to work in order to be out in the world, interacting with others, and in the case of nursing, helping others-both patients and families. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I stayed home with both of my children for a period of time. I remember feeling I was doing the right thing, but at the same time, I longed for interaction with other adults; I missed my co-workers and I missed the interactions I had with patients, their families, and others in the health care team.

It's a perfectly valid point of view.

I suppose it is if you are actually doing your work. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Expecting a paycheck for hanging out socially is not okay.

I'm a former SAHM as well, actually didn't become a nurse until age 40. There are myriad ways to interact with other adults that don't involve employment.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

What people often mean when they say that is that they want to work in order to be out in the world, interacting with others, and in the case of nursing, helping others-both patients and families. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I stayed home with both of my children for a period of time. I remember feeling I was doing the right thing, but at the same time, I longed for interaction with other adults; I missed my co-workers and I missed the interactions I had with patients, their families, and others in the health care team.

It's a perfectly valid point of view.

Yep it sure is so long as the person going to work for social reasons is carrying their share of the load. I could care less what motivates my fellow nurses to show up at work but when they are there they need to be a productive part of the team at or close to 100%. I'm not carrying 75% of someone's job because they want to come to work to hang out

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

No one should be doing only 75% of their work, regardless of age or circumstances.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

What people often mean when they say that is that they want to work in order to be out in the world, interacting with others, and in the case of nursing, helping others-both patients and families. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I stayed home with both of my children for a period of time. I remember feeling I was doing the right thing, but at the same time, I longed for interaction with other adults; I missed my co-workers and I missed the interactions I had with patients, their families, and others in the health care team.

It's a perfectly valid point of view.

I think some are confusing socialization with socializing.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

I think some are confusing socialization with socializing.

socialization

noun so·cial·i·za·tion \ ˌsō-sh(ə-)lə-ˈzā-shən \

Definition of socialization

1 a : the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society

b : social interaction with others

c : exposure of a young domestic animal (such as a kitten or puppy) to a variety of people, animals, and situations to minimize fear and aggression and promote friendliness

2 : the action or process of making something (such as an industry) socialistic : conversion to collective or governmental ownership and control the socialization of medicine

Socialization | Definition of Socialization by Merriam-Webster

[sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN]

At 69yrs..., 46+ years of nursing........ I have failed retirement 4 times...... boredom's and I still have "game"

Thankyou Jesus I have found a local home health company+ that recruited me.."

It is fun and laid back ...... most staff crusty ole bats....

Love, love my DON.... she is the bomb-- this may be the perfect end of career job...

No drauma......& they recruited me..".

Until I am no longer cognitive, or physical impartment..I choose to work

Sure I have critical care " game".....

but this is laid back and majority staff , like me crusty ole bats....

I'm not sure I'm still up for 12 hr shifts, except ER....... but today I don't have to do that...l

Thank you Njesus finding job that recruited me...... I can do this for a while...how long ? Maybe 3-5 more years

Best wishes for OP