End of the day, lots of things going on and its time to pass meds.
Pt. calls me in his room to ask me a question. Scene: Pt. standing at bedside, hand out with paper wadded up in it, face innocent and childlike, very casual mannerisms. Tells me: "I put this in my butt, and now when I poop there is a little blood."
OK
Ummmmm............
Well.................
Checked for rectal bleeding, nothing active. Inform attending and get the H/H order I want. Go through all the formal things (document etc) AND SPEND SOME TIME DOING PT EDUCATION ON WHY WE DON'T PUT FOREIGN OBJECTS IN OUR BUTTS.
Pt calls me in the room to ask me a question again. This time it is "I know I can't put things in my butt.............and I won't, but does my finger count?"
OK
Ummmm............
Well............
More education provided ON WHY WE DON'T PUT FOREIGN OBJECTS, INCLUDING OUR FINGER, IN OUR BUTTS.
Passing meds. I have gotten everything under control, everyone else if fine. Yes, I know I know, I am such an intolerant nurse. I saved this guys meds for last.
What does he say to me? That he want to take all his meds as suppositories. ALL of them.
This so reminded me of a patient that came to the floor I used to work on. He always wanted his temperature taken rectally and had every excuse in the book why we couldn't take it any other place. He begged for rectal temperatures, needless to say no one complied with his wishes.
As far as the crush thing goes: When phlebotomy was drawing his labs, he was talking about the bleeding and how it started (cause he was concerned they'd take too much blood, eh?). It was a young kid and he kinda got freaked out by the pt. I was bad, I couldn't resist making it worse. I told him "The pt. was asking me all night if you were the one drawing blood today or not, I couldn't figure out why until now".
We do voicecare report, the recordings done on the phone. On this pt'd report, I put in the history "I know where the missing master remote control is." Sad but true, its been missing since he was admitted.
But (no pun) on a more serious side. Yeah, this guy got sold short. Wonder if I wouldn't have handled it differently if it were in the middle of the night as opposed to the end of my day. He needs psych help, something more than simple childish education.
We had a guy who came to the ER repeatedly with complaints of constipation. He would always demand an enema. He got a few before the staff wised up. The next time he came in demanding one we sent in the biggest, hairiest, sweatiest guy we had on staff. Patient refused. Next time he came in he demanded and enema but only if a pretty girl would give it to him. He got MagCitrate.
We had a guy who came to the ER repeatedly with complaints of constipation. He would always demand an enema. He got a few before the staff wised up. The next time he came in demanding one we sent in the biggest, hairiest, sweatiest guy we had on staff. Patient refused. Next time he came in he demanded and enema but only if a pretty girl would give it to him. He got MagCitrate.
Oh yuck. I had an old lady demanding enema after enema from me. Yuck. Never in a million years would I have thought.............................that.
Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.
If you think that is made up...no way...I totally believe it....I have seen some doozies coming in from the ER...."Removal of Foreign Body..." under Anesthesia...people are sick, sick, sick....
RNKITTY04
353 Posts
Yeah.. a year or so ago I might have laughed at this post, now Im just disgusted that we have to breath the same air as these Freaks. Over it!!