have you had an abortion?

mother/babyRN, RN · May 20, 2004

I should mention that years later, when I met my husband, we were told we were both infertile.....Somehow though, we did manage to have three little ones.....I recall the doc I saw to confirm my pregancy all those years ago, actually angered me when he said there was some good news at the pregnancy ( I sure didn't think so) and then told me that at least I knew I could become pregnant. Years later when it didn't happen, I could appreciate the reasoning behind that.....

gypsyatheart · May 20, 2004

I can only offer you support and prayers. :) This is a very personal decision. It really doesn't matter how many other people have had one or not. Ultimately, this is a decision you and you alone must make. Only you know your circumstances, only you know your heart. Of course, I support the suggestion of counselling and I think the PP organization is great at helping young women, so if that might help you, go for it.

If you need anything or just to talk, feel free to PM me. :)

julieftRN · May 20, 2004

I have not had an abortion (thank goodness) but have been faced with the situation. I believe God puts things into your life for a reason. I was 17 yrs old and still in H.S. Fortunatley, I have very supportive parents. I decided to keep my son. I finished my education, graduated with my class, and now I am in nursing school getting my degree. I dont know how I would handle it now if I would have killed my baby :crying2: (because that is what I think it is). Everything is possible:) . There are many support groups out there that will help you. Have you thought about adoption. It is a wonderful option for you and the baby. The baby gets a chance at life. Birthright.org is a good place to start or any Crisis Pregnancy Centers. I hope this helps you and good luck!!!

DOCS RN · May 20, 2004

I think you have a lot of nerve to even ask this question in this forum. What you are asking for is very personal and painful information. You should grow up and take this problem that you have to your priest (clergy), your partner, possibly your parents, your GYN and a good counselor. The information these important people have just may be able to help you sort it all out.

JUSTYSMOM · May 20, 2004

Hi,

I have had 2 abortions in my past. Once when I was 19, young, stupid, il-prepared to have a baby etc. Plus I was under my parents influence at the time. There was no question that I was going to have an abortion. I regretted it for a long time. But as I got older, I realized it was the right decision for me.

The second time was with my fiance (who is now my husband). It is too personal to go into on the main boards. But yes, I regret having it done. It also rendered me infertile. I got a massive infection that destoyed my tubes. I don't know the statistics on this, but I am sure it doesn't happen that often. Imagine the grief & guilt I went through when trying to have a baby.

Fortunately, I was blessed with my wonderful son via the miracle of IVF. BUT, because of my decision to abort and subsequence infection- I can ONLY do IVF to get pregnant. It is way too expensive to risk losing money on. We are now in the process of adoptiong baby # 2.

I can look at things a few different ways...why me, whoas me...BUT then again if this is the way my son was meant to come to me- than so be it. I am thankful for what I had to do through to get him. Because if that didn't happen to me, I would never have my son. I also think that perhaps I am meant to mother a baby whose birth parents can't. Things happen for a reason.

Just remember that every single decision you make will cause an action to ocurr in the future. Do what is best for you now. Babie's are non-refundable. They deserve the very best chance for a stable, happy, secure life. If you are not ready for this- then you have the right to terminate the pregnancy.

You can also look into adoption- but it takes a very special person to willingly give up her baby to another family to raise. Are you capable of that decision? Can you honestly keep and raise a baby now?

It's a tough decision- but I am sure whatever you decide to do will be the right one. Good luck!

Energizer Bunny · May 20, 2004

Why is it that we all do so good in discussing things until one or two people come along and trash the whole discussion? Nerve????? hmmmmmmm........

gypsyatheart · May 20, 2004

I think you have a lot of nerve to even ask this question in this forum. What you are asking for is very personal and painful information. You should grow up and take this problem that you have to your priest (clergy), your partner, possibly your parents, your GYN and a good counselor. The information these important people have just may be able to help you sort it all out.

Your post is quite harsh. If you are uncomfortable with this topic I suggest you move on. I have no problem discussing this issue with the OP.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · May 20, 2004

Originally Posted by DOCS RN
I think you have a lot of nerve to even ask this question in this forum. What you are asking for is very personal and painful information. You should grow up and take this problem that you have to your priest (clergy), your partner, possibly your parents, your GYN and a good counselor. The information these important people have just may be able to help you sort it all out.

I think you've got a lot of nerve to be so harsh. If the post irks you to the degree of being rude, how about just moving away from it?

cutecat · May 20, 2004

I think you have a lot of nerve to even ask this question in this forum. What you are asking for is very personal and painful information. You should grow up and take this problem that you have to your priest (clergy), your partner, possibly your parents, your GYN and a good counselor. The information these important people have just may be able to help you sort it all out.

Yes I am asking something personal but how am I forcing people to open up about this touchy subject? I'm not, I simply wanted to hear out of willing people if they regretted their decision or not. I am having a hard time making such a life-altering decision and was just looking for some support. If you ask me, you're the one who needs to grow up!

SmilingBluEyes · May 20, 2004

Never been there (obviously), but do want to offer my support. Take the advice of others and seek counseling, if you think it might help.
You are at a tough junction in your life, and whatever decision you make, there will be someone there willing to judge you, and to second guess your decision. Just wanted you to know that there are those on all sides of the question who won't judge you. I can't. I haven't been where you are.
My only hope for you is that, whatever your decision, you come out of it convinced it was the right decision for you.
Kevin McHugh

WOW, what an amazing, nonjudgemental and helpful post. I have no real clue from this post whether Kevin is pro choice or pro life----because he made it about the OP, not HIS beliefs. And this from a man---one who will never have to make such a decision. I ask those of you who are pro-life and anti-abortion NOT to be harsh on this poster. If you are against it, fine, but please, this is a hard time in her life. DO NOT be so CRUEL!!!

Again, Thank you, Kevin. This was wonderful and I think will be of great help to the OP. You transcended the prolife versus prochoice argument, beautifully! THUMBS UP!

nekhismom · May 20, 2004

Ditto what SBE said! Nice post, kevin!

I repeat again, if you have a hard time discussing a topic, simply DO NOT post. Be nice to all, please.

Gompers, BSN, RN · May 23, 2004

I agree, Kevin, that was a wonderful post.

Cutecat, I hope you're able to talk to a counselor (Planned Parenthood is a great place to start) so that you can make the best decision for YOU. Whatever you choose is going to alter your life forever, so you really need to get right down to what YOU think is the best decision at this point in your life. Only you have the answer. And you probably already know it, deep down, in your gut. Please talk to someone.