have you had an abortion?

cynthia_donne · May 19, 2004

I need some advice and was wondering if anyone has ever had an abortion and regretted it? Can you please tell me why you chose abortion and how you came to decide that was the best choice for you. I am currently facing the question of abortion myself but I don't think I can go through with it. I don't personally know anyone who has had one who I can talk to about this. Anything would be appreciated; I would not judge anyone.

I deeply feel for you. I have not ever had an abortion, nor would I because of my strong belief that God is in control and it is a life from conception. I have been with friends and family members that have made that decision. I can say that not one of them have forgotten the experience. Several of them continue to mourn for years after having other children, for the child that was aborted.

You are the same age as my daughter. I am sure that you are overwhelmed and feel trapped. You are young and want to continue with the life that you had planned. I appeal to you to consider adoption, if you are unable to parent the child. In the United States, you have so many options. I know that this may seem very hard to do. So many women choose abortion because they do not feel they could have the child and give it up, But consider the women that has not been able to concieve or has had the death of all her newborn children and now is given the opportunity to fullfill her desire to be a mother. I know such a women. She is in the process of adopting a baby girl from Columbia. The cost is enourmous, the wait is long. Although the infant's Mother was unable to keep the child, the babe was not a mistake. She has a mommy waiting on her in Texas. And no one could convience me this was not God. I am a nurse, and I have never forgotten that this is a gift. Your pregnancy is also a gift. It may not be a gift that you can keep, but it is not a mistake.

I hope that you can come to peace with your decision. I pray that you find someone that can help support you and provide sound advice that can lead you to a place of peace.

If I can help you in any way.please feel free to write me. I know several people that I feel could help you.

Omegaqueen1121 · May 19, 2004

I personally have never had an abortion. However, a few years ago I did accompany a very good friend to the clinic so she could have a support person there with her. I was in the room with her when she was having her abortion.
My friend was a single mother raising her 3 year old son and working full time. She also took care of her aging mother who lived with her. Then she found out she was pregnant. After telling the father of the baby...he left her. The decision to abort was very hard for her to make, but in the end she is glad that she went through with it. As a friend, I am so glad that I could be there for her.
I hope that you will find accurate information so that you can make an informed decision. Good luck to you. You will be in my thoughts ((((hugs))))-Tweetiepie :)

:balloons: :) I had one two years ago and just like a previous member mentioned, I was also raped. to make a long story short at that time i have no regrets on what i did ( i have a seven year old girl from my previous marriage) Right now my ex is still in jail for domestic dispute with his new girlfriend. I love my self unconditionally for not subjecting myself to continue that abusive realtionship. nor to bring an innocent life into it! However strongly pray and weigh your options before coming to that decison. Good Luck!( A big Hug for encouragement and support)

WhiteCaps · May 19, 2004

I need some advice and was wondering if anyone has ever had an abortion and regretted it? Can you please tell me why you chose abortion and how you came to decide that was the best choice for you. I am currently facing the question of abortion myself but I don't think I can go through with it. I don't personally know anyone who has had one who I can talk to about this. Anything would be appreciated; I would not judge anyone.

Please don't do it. There are other options.

You might try looking up Project Rachel sites

for true stories of women who had abortions and what they went thru

and how they found healing.

http://www.rcab.org/projectrachel

(Rachel was the woman in the Bible who's weeping could not be consoled because her children "were no more")

.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · May 19, 2004

To the OP: you do what's best for you.

fergus51 · May 19, 2004

I would just second that. I have never been in your shoes. I do know 2 friends who have had abortions with no regrets and one person who gave a child up for adoption who regretted it. Only you can know what is right for you. Hopefully you can speak to someone who focuses on YOU and your life.

Energizer Bunny · May 19, 2004

And I third it! You do what's best for you and your situation.

rdhdnrs · May 19, 2004

I had one when I was 19 years old. I thought it was my only choice at the time. I feel the same as one poster who said she would not have had the children she has if she hadn't had an abortion. I am totally enamoured of the two girls I have.

That said, I must say I do think of that little soul. For some reason, I see it as a "him" and now that I'm a Christian, feel that someday I will meet him.

On the other hand, you must do what's right for you and your life and your family. You have a hard choice. If you want to discuss further email me privately.

You are in my prayers.

Lisa

L&D_RN_OH · May 19, 2004

Choosing to continue or end a pregnancy is a very personal decision. I agree with everyone who has suggested counseling. I think feeling confident with your decision is the most important factor in whether or not you will have feelings of regret.

That said, I had an abortion at 14, after being raped. I have never once regretted it. I know that it was the only logical option for me.

I now have 3 beautiful children who I love more than anything, who would not be, if I had chosen a different path at 14.

Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you will come to make the choice that is most comfortable for you.

tylerlvn · May 20, 2004

I have never been in your situation. I have aways been on the opposite end - years and years of infertility. I do not judge you. You have to make your own decision. One option is adoption. I am so thankful everyday for my adopted son. I know how hard it must have been for his "birth" mother. But, she changed my life forever. Like I said... I do not know what I would do in your circumstance. It is one option to think about though.

kmchugh · May 20, 2004

Never been there (obviously), but do want to offer my support. Take the advice of others and seek counseling, if you think it might help.

You are at a tough junction in your life, and whatever decision you make, there will be someone there willing to judge you, and to second guess your decision. Just wanted you to know that there are those on all sides of the question who won't judge you. I can't. I haven't been where you are.

My only hope for you is that, whatever your decision, you come out of it convinced it was the right decision for you.

Kevin McHugh

manna, BSN, RN · May 20, 2004

I have never had an abortion, but I very seriously considered it when I found out I was pregnant with my first son (my boyfriend at the time - now my husband - and I were both essentially homeless, usually drugs/alcohol heavily, and neither of us were working). I even had made an appointment with the clinic, but something kept me from going. Today, I am glad that I chose to have and keep my son and my beliefs regarding the abortion issue have changed drastically.

I'll echo the other posters who said only you know what is the best decision for you. Get some counseling, and be sure you're at peace with your decision. Good luck... :)

mother/babyRN, RN · May 20, 2004

It is never an easy decision whatever your personal belief. I had to consider it years ago and would vacilate from one point of view to the other minute by minute. I actually had the appointment made but couldn't do it...The views of my parents surprised me since they were opposite than what I expected. My mom told me I should consider it since I was just starting out in my life and it would be changed and uprooted forever.....She should know...She had five kids and her life as she wanted it to be, never materialized. Until that conversation I hadn't realized that despite the fact she was (is) a great mom, her dreams were never to be...My dad, on the other hand, who I thought would be for it, was against it because in the far past, as he then shared with me, a girlfriend of his had had one without consulting him.. I soon realized that NO ONE can help guide you to that decision. They may counsel but invariably, some part of their personal belief systems must come into play.

I chose not to have the procedure and my 21 year old son is amazing. He recently wrote the rules which I published here under "The Mother's Rule Book." (general nursing discussion)...It was a tough road and definitely a far cry and adventure through a route far afield from that originally chosen...I still ocasionally wonder what my life would have been like had I chosen another decision, and regretfully , there were times when I almost wished I had, because even with the best of support, raising a child is not easy...But, in the end, you have to make the choice which best suits you, for your own reasons, whether counselled or not...I wish you only the best in whatever road you take.....I have been there.....{{{{}}}}