Can you believe this? 13yo and mom both pregnant

CHATSDALE · Jul 12, 2004

15 year old having sex with older man is child abuse whether consenual or not..authorities should have been notified

Angela Mac · Jul 12, 2004

My original labor pt. (13 yr old) came back last night and delivered. Mom is 27yrs old and delivering in next couple of months and grandma is 42yrs. Pt. last night ended up seizuring and had to be put on Mag. Sulfate. and given 10mg Valium. Long night.

Please--- did the same man father the teen's child & her mothers'?

Where is this man who fathered a 13 yr. olds child? In prison I hope.:angryfire

Euskadi1946 · Jul 12, 2004

Hi I'm new. :) Just wanted to say that this is soooo commmon where I work, actually in our area (rural south). It is so very sad, makes me very nervous for what the future holds for my own children. Do you think it's more of a demographic problem, or a socio-economic one? Just curious to know what your thoughts are.

While I'm not exactly at the bottom rung of the socio economic ladder I do have a daughter who got pregnant at 15 had her baby at 16...and is pregnant at 17.5 with her second baby. I wasn't at all pleased when she told me the first time that she was pregnant. As an OB nurse I have dealt first hand with teen pregnancies and I was very upset to say the least. At first we had decided to terminate the pregnancy, then she told me she just could not kill her baby. So then I suggested adoption, I knew a couple who would be more than happy to adopt the baby. But she is adopted and is thankful that we gave her a wonderful homelife. She opted to keep the baby and that little guy has brought so much love to our home. The baby's dad is very much involved. The baby is the love of our lives and has alot of affection on both sides of the families. I put her on dep shots and when I lost my job and my insurance we had to stop them. For awhile she was behaving herself or maybe it was just pure luck. Several months ago she and her friends went to a PP Clinic and got free BCP samples. I taught her how to take them and told her to immediately start on them after she has her next period. Would ask her every now and then if she was taking those pills. Guess she wasn't so now she's pregnant again. I was p/od big time this time!!!! :angryfire Again I told her I would support her decision in whatever she decides to do...different father this time and he's even better than the first one as far as being supportive. Now before anyone starts to make any judgements...you can tell your kids till your blue in the face to NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX!!!! If they're smart which my kid obviously was not, they will listen. Again she has chosen to have the baby and she will be 18 when she has the baby. I come from a large family where babies were always welcome and this baby will be welcomed as well. However, this does not mean that I approve of what my daughter has done...but we have to make the best out of a bad situation. According to the laws, we cannot force them to terminate the pregnancy nor can we force them to put the babies up for adoption. So we do the best we can and support them as much as possible. We have always had a good relationship and I taught my daughter all about sex and the consequences that can come from unprotected sex.. "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make the horse drink." :uhoh3:

bigfishsmallpond · Jul 13, 2004

While I'm not exactly at the bottom rung of the socio economic ladder I do have a daughter who got pregnant at 15 had her baby at 16...and is pregnant at 17.5 with her second baby. I wasn't at all pleased when she told me the first time that she was pregnant. As an OB nurse I have dealt first hand with teen pregnancies and I was very upset to say the least. At first we had decided to terminate the pregnancy, then she told me she just could not kill her baby. So then I suggested adoption, I knew a couple who would be more than happy to adopt the baby. But she is adopted and is thankful that we gave her a wonderful homelife. She opted to keep the baby and that little guy has brought so much love to our home. The baby's dad is very much involved. The baby is the love of our lives and has alot of affection on both sides of the families. I put her on dep shots and when I lost my job and my insurance we had to stop them. For awhile she was behaving herself or maybe it was just pure luck. Several months ago she and her friends went to a PP Clinic and got free BCP samples. I taught her how to take them and told her to immediately start on them after she has her next period. Would ask her every now and then if she was taking those pills. Guess she wasn't so now she's pregnant again. I was p/od big time this time!!!! :angryfire Again I told her I would support her decision in whatever she decides to do...different father this time and he's even better than the first one as far as being supportive. Now before anyone starts to make any judgements...you can tell your kids till your blue in the face to NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX!!!! If they're smart which my kid obviously was not, they will listen. Again she has chosen to have the baby and she will be 18 when she has the baby. I come from a large family where babies were always welcome and this baby will be welcomed as well. However, this does not mean that I approve of what my daughter has done...but we have to make the best out of a bad situation. According to the laws, we cannot force them to terminate the pregnancy nor can we force them to put the babies up for adoption. So we do the best we can and support them as much as possible. We have always had a good relationship and I taught my daughter all about sex and the consequences that can come from unprotected sex.. "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make the horse drink."

I commend you for being so supportive and not blaming yourself for your daughter's decisions.I cannot imagine a 18 y/o that will be tied down to two babies, but if she is strong and loving, she can do it. I am sad that she will miss out on so much of her childhood, since she has to be an adult, but, those decisions result in consequenses. at least she is responsible and taking care of things...also, how supportive are the 2 teenage dads? are they working and sending money to support the kids?Somehow they get off much easier....And how are you?This is a tremendous financial, emotional and physical demand for you, too!

seanymph · Jul 13, 2004

Just to update those of you who asked. the FOB of the 13 yr old pt was not involved and it was not her stepdad, who by the way is a very nice man. The 13 yr old kept her baby. Hopefully, after the time she had with her pregnancy, PTL, seizures, MGSo4...she'll think twice before she gets pregnant again.

finness · Jul 13, 2004

i am sorry to hear about your situation. i think it is wonderful that you discussed all options with your daughter. sadly, there are many people who try to convince *children* that raising a baby in a young, single family household is the most responsible decision a young woman can make. in most cases, the people doing the convincing are no where to be found nine months later, when the young woman is trying to contend with the insensate realities of raising a child on minimal resources. in most cases, making the decision to retain custody of the child also means making the decision to plunge the baby into poverty, not to mention opening the child up to all of the complications that result in not having a solid foundation. treating children as though they are accessories is merely a means by which to steal their opportunities. of course, there are wonderful, young parents who have made healthy, happy homes for their children. it seems that more frequently, however, the parent/s benefit more from the relationship then the children. adoption is indeed a noble thing to do.

hipab4hands · Jul 13, 2004

Hi I'm new. :) Just wanted to say that this is soooo commmon where I work, actually in our area (rural south). It is so very sad, makes me very nervous for what the future holds for my own children. Do you think it's more of a demographic problem, or a socio-economic one? Just curious to know what your thoughts are.

It's really sad. It's a vicious circle that is unlikely to be broken. The 13 year old is in no economic position to support that child, which means a lifetime of welfare. Unless that 13 year old can manage to break the cycle, her children will be back having babies at a young age also.

grandma rn38 · Jul 13, 2004

i had a pt that was 71, and her daughter was 60.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Jul 13, 2004

i had a pt that was 71, and her daughter was 60.

Things like this scare me, because i was 8 years old when i got my period, and i know i'm far from being the only one who did.

rndani · Jul 16, 2004

This isn't really common where I work. However, I did take care of a pg 13yo and then again when she came back @14.5 w/her second. I also took care of a 13yo who delivered at home @29wks and let the baby die. That was one of the most difficult days ever.

fotografe · Sep 22, 2004

I had a few 13 and 14 y/o pts. during my short trial in L&D. I was always shocked that the girls were so young. But even MORE shocked that the moms were HAPPY about their teenage girls being pregnant!!! They welcomed the new grandkid happily, with open arms! :eek I will NEVER get over that.

Well, why wouldn't you welcome a new grandchild happily and with open arms? The baby doesn't know his mother is too young to be a mother. But that baby would pick up on the fact eventually that there is something "wrong" with them being on the earth if people are treating them as such!!! Also, the parent of this young mother has had several months to get used to the idea that a baby is coming no matter what. Accepting and celebrating that birth like any other is appropriate. I would hate to think what would become of that mother and baby if they were shunned!

jad2 · Sep 22, 2004

I went to school with girls who by the time they were 13, were sexually active & had a child. By the time I graduated highschool, we had a daycare in the school.

Some of these girls were exposed to sexuality at an early age. They were either raped/sexually abused. Some of them say that they felt unloved by their parents, and just wanted someone to love them.

I have daughters now, and I agree that the best prevention a parent has is open communication with their children. Sometimes it is the parents fault their kid got pregnant [or got someone pregnant], but sometimes it is not.

At some point personal responsibilty has to come into play.

I've known parents who were "model" parents, by this I mean, 2 parents in the home, went to church/temple, etc... and had a son or daughter who had a kid at an early age.

No one is immune. I know that it can happen to any of my daughters. So, I choose not to judge, because life has a funny way of kickin' you off your high horse!