Can you believe this? 13yo and mom both pregnant

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

Had a patient come in last night who was contracting and is 13 yrs old and her mom is pregnant too! :uhoh21:

Hiyah,

I was married (settled) and twenty when I had my first baby, as was my mother, so while there's no particular cycle of *teenage* pregnancy in our family, I worry myself to death that my 13 year old daughter will get herself into trouble. She's showing quite a bit of interest in boys. I did have "the talk" with her, and she still says it's "icky" but when I look (secretly) at some of the notes these boys write her at school they talk about sticking their tongues in her mouth and all this stuff. Makes me want to go insane!!! I don't know how to stop her from this, other than the talk I had with her.

I was stunned that there is an opportunity at the school (all the rest of her time I very carefully account for and monitor, nicely, cheerfully, lol, I don't try to be overbearing) for this sort of activity. I asked my husband (who went to this middle school) and he said that from the time they get to school, til the time of their first class, they are all in a "great room" of some sorts that is fairly low on supervision, and that he remembers other kids kissing and such at those times. So what can I even do? I hate to go to the school and say, "Folks, my child is not being watched closely enough..." because is her being involved with this boy my fault? Something I did wrong somehow? Will they just say I should have parented her better and it's not their problem to watch this age group 24/7? (Ages 11-14) I wish I'd put her in the Christian school instead. (I did tell her if she didn't chill out with the boys I'd take her out of public school, but I said it fairly lightly so maybe she didn't believe me.)

We're christians and she attends church regularly, so she does respond somewhat when I tell her Jesus wishes for us not to have sex and sexual relations before marriage, etc.

Thankfully she told me yesterday that she "split up" with this boy and told the boy she just wanted to be alone. Somehow I got the sense that she herself felt like the kid was pushing her a bit hard to get involved in this stuff. (In the note the boy wrote it said something like, how come you didn't open your mouth, and how come you kept walking off to talk to your friend?) Dare I pray her desire to stop fooling around with this kid was a result of my talk and influence?

I'm afraid if I tell her "absolutely no boys/boyfriends whatsoever" she'll rebel and I won't know what's going on in her life. Sigh. I've been dissuading her from boy-involvement, told her have her girlfriends over, concentrate on her studies, etc. instead. But I'm wondering when is the right time to consider putting her on birth control? I don't want to plant ideas where they haven't begun- she expresses disgust still over "sex" as a whole.

Cats

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Once upon a time our hospital gave away a lot of wonderful baby gifts to the "New Years Baby" and the parents. Included were a weekend at an inn in a city of their choosing, baby clothes, gift certificates, artwork... probably thousands of dollars of goods.

One year the winner was a 15 year old single parent, no daddy in the picture, whose mom was 28 and the "grandmother" (or baby's great grandmother) was all of 42. They were shown on TV and were in the newspaper, along with the great-great grandmother and a great-great-great grandfather.

The community outcry was intense, to say the least! It turned from bestowing gifts to the first baby of the year to "bestowing gifts and supporting adolescent pregnancy".

Our hospital stopped this practice after this. I always wonder how that family is doing (it was probably a good 15 or more years ago.)

I'm not sure that I am in favor of this type of practice, and would like to know what others think?

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

One of my classmates is 19 with 3 children and pregnant. She had her first child at 14.

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Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.

My oldest daughter is a few months younger than my youngest brother. I got pregnant when I was 22 and step-mom aroung same time.

As far as the very young getting pregnant for multiple generations, maybe that is all they know. Children only follow goals they know to exist.

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i was 17 when i got preg with my son, and my mom was 45 and also preg -which would've been her 6th child (she had 5 by the time she was 26...so a few years had passed) but she miscarried. I was 6 months along, and she was 17 weeks.

I went to the ER with her and seen them hooking her up to IV's and she basically was going into shock, and i ended up leaving because there really wasn't much room for me... which was probably a good thing considering i was young and preg myself. But it didn't actually affect me... yeah she lost her baby while i was healthy, but honestly i knew she didn't need another child. So she had her D&C done, and was supposed to get her tubes tied, thought they were.. and ended up getting pregnant AGAIN! which also resulted in another miscarriage.. that time she actually got her tubes tied.

I'm glad i had my kids young though... more time to enjoy my retirement years as i like to say...

Michelle

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Specializes in L&D, Family Practice, HHA, IM.

I've had two 11-year-olds, both molestation/sexual abuse cases, and one very memorable case involving a 17-year-old pregnant (with triplets) by a man nearly three times her age, who'd been in jail on a murder charge and liked going round the nurses' station to help himself to the pocketbooks and wallets, while also mooching the food from her meal trays. He was married and estranged from his wife, whose sister was also on the same wing with her own problem pregnancy. She delivered the babies two months early and was featured on the local news, and I never saw her again...until one night I saw the FOB on the news (the video that showed him with the triplets--which went straight to a mug shot) and it turned out that he'd met up with his estranged wife in a graveyard, beat her, cut her throat, and left her for dead. She was later admitted to the same area of the hospital that her sister and her husband's GF had been during their pregnancies (a combination ACU, GYN, and general step-down Med-Surg Unit).

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DarRay, I couldn't agree with you more. As I was a teen mother myself. It's important to remember that that all socioeconomic scales can be touched by this subject. Morals do not know money. If one is raised to believe they are not worth a dime, and their self worth is down the drain, then these preganancies are likely to occur. I'm not saying it is anyone's fault. It is always up to a person to take responsibility for their situation, but the way you are raised can definately be a reason. It really drives me a mad when I have a young mom in delivery and all of the nurses are commenting on it. I remember how bad I just wanted support and for people to have faith in me that I would od the best I could. It's so imporatnt when caring for these young pregnant women. These young girls will remember their birth forever and if they have an angel nurse, like I did, they will be forever grateful. Karma comes around for sure.

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Had a patient come in last night who was contracting and is 13 yrs old and her mom is pregnant too! :uhoh21:
hellooooooooo she learns from the best here mother you know like mother like daughter... what example of mother...
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i was a teen mother at 16, i will never forget my l&d rn. she was the most caring person i've met, as a pregnant teenager i was already feeling bad about the fact that i had become another "statistic" and always hated the stares that others gave me. my nurse really treated me well and with respect and now i am becoming a nurse thanks to her. she is my inspiration and i hope to specialize in ob when i graduate.

dont' get me wrong i don't think that being a teenage mom (even worse at 13) is a good idea. it really isn't. but what's done is done and any judgements one makes can't help fix that situation. but what we can do is educate.

i just hope that when nurses provide care any preconcieve notions or judgements are always kept deep inside and not shown in any way to the patient, because just by doing your job, not judging and being a caring person you can potentially make a difference in that child's/teenager's life.

jmho,

b.

------------------------------------

i hear and i forget

i see and i remember

i do and i understand~ old proverb

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"I just hope that when nurses provide care any preconcieve notions or judgements are always kept deep inside and not shown in any way to the patient, because just by doing your job, not judging and being a caring person you can potentially make a difference in that child's/teenager's life"

All I can add is a hearty amen!

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what is our world coming to, this could have been prvented!!!!

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I'm 19 and I got pregnant when I was 18. The summer right after graduating high school and going off to college. I got pregnant by my boyfriend of 2 years and it was a pretty tramatic experiance as a young person. Needless to say I didn't go off to the school I was accepted to but I'm doing just fine. I support my child and he has everything he needs and is healthy. I'm still with my boyfriend. I'm going to nursing school and doing excellent. It's a scary thing to have to tell your parents. Mine we're upset but as they put it, "What's done is done." Now that he's here, they say they couldn't live a day without him and neither could I. I think that in a younger persons case, like a 13 or 14 year old, the parents need to be happy about it otherwise they just don't know what else to do. It may not be what they wanted for their child but they shouldn't PUNISH them for it happening. They'll make it through, it'll be rough, but hopefully they will raise their kids right.

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