Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful?

[klone]

Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. I've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.

I haven't said anything in these threads, instead I just close the thread and move on. But whenever I read them, I can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. I understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but I don't know. It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.

These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.

[SillyLilly]

When I worked at a Blockbuster, I would frequent the forum " I hate Blockbuster Customers".

How much more blunt can that get?

[firstyearstudent]

As an outsider, I am getting mixed messages from the nurses here. On one hand, I hear people demanding respect for a challenging and technical profession and being offended when they are called waitresses (even in jest). On the other hand I see them comparing their situation to that of workers at Blockbuster. Perhaps I'm just not aware of a similar forum for doctors, but I suspect that they would find it somehow unprofessional or unseemly to publicly trash their patients (although I am certain they do so in private).

[jonear2, RN]

As an outsider, I am getting mixed messages from the nurses here. On one hand, I hear people demanding respect for a challenging and technical profession and being offended when they are called waitresses (even in jest). On the other hand I see them comparing their situation to that of workers at Blockbuster. Perhaps I'm just not aware of a similar forum for doctors, but I suspect that they would find it somehow unprofessional or unseemly to publicly trash their patients (although I am certain they do so in private).

All jobs and professions are fairly similar in this respect. Its almost an "us against them" mentality. Yes the patients are there because they need help and we are the providers of that help, but we cant always feel loving and giving. People who work at blockbuster complain about their customers because they deal with those customers every day. Nurses complain about their patients because we seal with them every day. I dont think you should hold MDs up to such a higher standard of professionalism than nurses. Perhaps we just havent found the venting site for physicians yet. I appreciate the answers to my previous question about where to draw the line. I was quite surprised at the answers and found them very helpful.

[SmilingBluEyes]

There is a very large and well-known site where physicians talk, exchange information and yes, vent, and believe me, they are no more "professional" when they kvetch than we are. They are just as human, get just as frustrated and disgusted and burnt-out as well as somewhat jaded, as anyone else.

Let's please not condemn everyone here for venting----and remember, if the thread is offensive, you always have the option of abstaining.

[33-weeker]

What I've noticed about venting is that it is often the byproduct of nurses who feel trapped in some way. We are continually faced with patients and situations we feel helpless to manage effectively.

The homeless mentally ill whose distorted thinking and treatment resistance is now viewed, through the lens of political correctness, as their choice to be "free."

The babies with mothers' whose dysfunctional thinking/behavior have us cringing at the thought of sending them out the door to who-knows-what.

The ED patients who present with all kinds of challenges, not to mention entourages of family and friends who act as if their loved one is the only patient who really matters.

Folks with dementia for whom there are no easy answers.

Customer service approaches that feed right into obnoxious behavior and outrageous demands.

Management that is either passive or aggressive or both, the kind that leaves nurses hanging in the wind, or worse, taking cover under desks.

Short staffing. Unreasonable expectations. Toxic co-workers.

And I've barely made a dent.

Venting is sometimes all that stands between quitting in frustration and disgust and being able to go back in the next day.

:yeahthat:

[rn/writer, RN]

As an outsider, I am getting mixed messages from the nurses here. On one hand, I hear people demanding respect for a challenging and technical profession and being offended when they are called waitresses (even in jest). On the other hand I see them comparing their situation to that of workers at Blockbuster. Perhaps I'm just not aware of a similar forum for doctors, but I suspect that they would find it somehow unprofessional or unseemly to publicly trash their patients (although I am certain they do so in private).

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a profession that doesn't have its gripes, even though we may not see their expression of it. Often, the carping is done via group or serial email and is quite popular. One of my daughters is a teacher, and, believe me, educators have the same kind of pet peeves that nurses do. So do EMS personnel, cops, lawyers, retailers, and anyone else who deals with the public.

We get weary of patients, patrons, customers, clients, parents, and the rest who don't follow instructions, don't believe rules apply to them, don't do their part and expect us to make up the shortfall, don't think we'll catch the fact that they're trying to put one over on us and all the rest.

I can deal with someone who is uneducated but basically has a good heart. I'll gladly go the extra mile for a patient who needs help and has the common (or maybe I should say uncommon) decency to treat me like a human being instead of a balky appliance or a vending maching.

The ones who seem to invite venting are those who have a ready list of demands but require little of themselves. My teacher daughter gets irritated with parents who complain about their children's grades but consistently ignore the recommendations and requirements that they and their kids are supposed to fulfill.

The fact the nurses and Blockbuster employees both vent is no commentary whatsoever on professionalism. It only means that at times they both deal with difficult people.

[dawngloves, BSN, RN]

:yeahthat:

If you're a PITA you are a PITA and I am going to complain about you to my peers because I am not here to suck up your stuff.

I don't see your W2 form or your insurance card so it is not a prejudice against your socio economic status. I do however know how much things cost and when I see these things on your person and you ask me for a bottle of Purell, I am going to roll my eyes.

And on the other hand, I will give you cans of formula if I know you have 4 other kids at home and they are wearing clothes that are ill fitting.

And yeah, when I was a waitress I complained about customers taking the rolls home in their purse!Was that unethical?

[33-weeker]

And yeah, when I was a waitress I complained about customers taking the rolls home in their purse!Was that unethical?

You can't re-serve them to another customer, so what's the issue?

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

as an outsider, i am getting mixed messages from the nurses here. on one hand, i hear people demanding respect for a challenging and technical profession and being offended when they are called waitresses (even in jest). on the other hand i see them comparing their situation to that of workers at blockbuster. perhaps i'm just not aware of a similar forum for doctors, but i suspect that they would find it somehow unprofessional or unseemly to publicly trash their patients (although i am certain they do so in private).

no one is comparing our situation to that of workers at blockbuster. what we are saying, though, is that every job that deals with the public has it's "moments" and venting is not unique to nursing. teachers do it, insurance brokers do it, trust fund managers do it, cops do it, and blockbuster workers do it.

there are similar forums for doctors, and yes, they vent about their patients. and nurses. and nps and crnas and everyone else.

this forum is for nurses, and we're venting on our forum, not on cnn and not in the monthly newsletter that every hospital around here sends to every homeowner.

[txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN]

And not just that, they would be thrown away..what a waste....

You can't re-serve them to another customer, so what's the issue?

[mariedoreen]

I have one: my pt is "lactose intolerant" but he eats ice cream all night long from the unit's fridge.

There are actually different degrees of intolerance (remember this is not a milk ALLERGY). Just because you're lactose intolerant doesn't mean you can't have any dairy products, it's very individualized. For example, I can have a little every day... a glass of milk or a bowl of ice cream are okay for me, when I start taking in more I overwhelm my body's ability to break it down (I'm low on the enzyme required) and will suffer some ill effects.

But I love dairy and sometimes I'll take the ill effects and have several glasses of milk or a lot of ice cream and say "screw it."

The ill effects of lactose intolerance are also different from one person to the next. For some they're intolerable (a lot of bloating and pain), for others they're undesirable but fairly mild (a lot of gas...) Different dairy products can affect people differently... for example I can eat all the cheese I want and not worry about a thing.

So if I were a pt in the hospital I would have lactose intolerance on my chart so that dairy products were not brought to me without my permission... however, if I'm in the mood for some milk or ice cream in the middle of the night I'm going to ask for it.

Since I'm an RN and know how common it is for you to be talking about me behind my back, I'm probably not gonna be all that concerned about you having to smell a lot of gas when you come in to do my assessments.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I don't think a majority of us spend a whole lot of our time talk rudely about our patients behind their backs. I know I try not to---and try not to be unfairly or overly judgemental. BUT I am human and to vent is human, not divine. I just try very hard to remember why I became an OB nurse in the first place. It really does help temper my tendency to let certain people and situations get to me.

And I find it kind of sad that we cant', as nurses, seem allow others to vent without taking it personally, here. I can't imagine anyone here who has spent any real amount of time doing this, has not run into situations that make them want to scream. Venting in an appropriate place and at a proper time is ok. As long as the care rendered is professional and compassionate, letting off steam, IMO is quite healthy. Who else BUT other nurses would possibly understand where we are coming from here? Let's try doing that here, if we can----let's nurse ourselves and one another.