I'm beginning to think Nursing school either brings out the worst in people or makes them insane.
Last year I became friends with a group of five ladies in school. We all got into the ( bad) habit of emailing back in forth while stressing out and waiting for test scores to be posted . Once they were, we would all share our scores, so we could share kudos with each-other and relieved sighs that we had all survived another test. The first semester this was no problem, as it is relatively easy compared with what was to come.
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Fast forward to Feb. 2009- first semester of Med- Surg. Three of us, "Tina," "Jessica "and I fail the first test along with ½ the class. Those of us in our little clique who passed are of course full of sympathy and pledges of support to help so we all pass next time. I take the time to re-evaluate my study strategy, switch it up, and learn to study smarter not harder. I work my butt off, have no life for the next two weeks and pass the next test with 94%, not only re-couping my points to be sitting in a safe zone. On test day, after scores have been posted, I discreetly share my score with nobody, being unsure if my two friends who failed the first test did well. I tell only two of the other women, lets call them Jane and Sally only when they ask me. Jane takes it upon herself to tell Everyone my score ( without my consent). Tina has failed the second test also. How do I know all this? Because she calls me the next day and says "Jane told me your score- how did you do it?! I failed this one too-can you help me?" I do so to the best of my abilites, but sadly Tina fails the final two tests and does not join us in the next class.
April- Jane has been acting strange towards me- I try to ignore it, a s
Jane has also been having health and family problems so I chalk it up to that, try to not make it all about me. I ease up, and start to distance myself a bit, not sure what's up, but too busy and stressed out to focus much time on it. Long story short, Jane begins to flat out blow me off, and me being totally confused finally gets Sally to confide in me. Sally reveals Jane thinks I was "gloating" and "boastful" about the test I did well on!!!! Excuse me??!!! I hardly told anyone, and the only reason anyone besides Jane and Sally know is because Jane Told them!!
So I say screw this, Nursing school is hard enough without this drama. I remove myself from the group and find others to hang out with. Sally and the others are still polite and friendly to me, but Jane completely ignores me now. This is all coming up again because classes started again this week. My wounds have mostly healed, but what I still can't stomach is being socailly ostracized for such a crap, not to mention untrue reason. So my long rambling leads to this:
Have any of you experienced this nonsense??? What is up with this catty over-competitive crap??
Oh, and lest anyone chalk Jane's behavior to age, she's in her 40's- chronologically at least she is supposed to be mature.
I agree with the first person who responded. You will make so many wonderful friends when you graduate and start working as a nurse:) Im still a pre-nursing student, but in my anatomy class, I'm good friend with a girl who has made D's and F's on every test. She doesn't pay attention in lecture, she doodles pictures with her hilighters, texts on her phone, and wonders why she fails. I try to encourage her the best I can, but it's ultimately her fault, even though I would never say that to her. She sits right next to me and sometimes I feel like I need to hide my test so she won't see my A's, I don't want her to harbor any animosity toward me lol! Unfortunately the drama-lama can follow you wherever you go. But you just focus on yourself and get through nursing school. Don't let toxic people bring you down. You have worked too hard for that! Good luck!!!
All I can say is that this is why when people ask me how I did on exams, whether I did well or not, my response is always, "Good!" It is no one's business how I score on exams. And if one person knows, the whole class knows. I learned that the hard way and got sick of people insisting that I did anything other than work hard to earn my grades. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope that the situation will work out. I found that the girls I am in class with, we just don't all mesh. I've tried to turn over a new leaf and look at these people as my peers and know I don't have to associate with all or any of them. Keep up the hard work and good luck with the rest of school - you found your niche for test taking and I hope it continues to pay off!
AT OUR SCHOOL THE GRADES ARE POSTED OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM BY ID NUMBERS. I HAVE SEEN CLASSMATES GO AS FAR AS WATCHING A CERTAIN STUDENT ID NUMBER AND STATING THAT THIS IS THE 3RD TEST THAT PERSON HAS FAILED. I MEAN COME ON ARE THEY SERIOUS.
WHATEVER GRADES I MAKE IS NO ONES BUSINESS, AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO TELL THEM THAT. I DO NOT ENTERTAIN THE IDEA OF ASKING PEOPLE THEIR GRADES AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT WANT ANYONE TO ASK ME ABOUT MINE. IF I JUST COME OUT AND SHARE THATS FINE.
GRADE GRUBBERS AND WATCHERS MIND YA DARN BUSINESS. LOL
BESIDES WHAT IS IT GOING TO BENEFIT ME TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU GOT ON THE LAST EXAM....
I am of the " I am in school for the education and not to make friends" crowd. Please do not misunderstand me. I have made many close friends in nursing school. Some of these folks I will likely have some connection with for life. If I make new friends in nursing school, wonderfull, I like making new friends. I need study partners. I learn from my instructors, patients, and classmates. When its all said and done, I am there for the education and therefore to ultimatly help provide for my family and self. Yesterday I broke my own rule about not sharing my grades. Stupid me. The asker became upset because she is not doing as well. She should not have asked and then not be happy with the answer. I should not have told her. We were both at fault, but most of it hers for the attitude.
This post is all so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't understand the monsters some of my classmates have become. Wow. Hopefully graduation will bring some much needed smiles.
I just wanted to express gratitude for this post. I think that from here on out, I will keep my grades to myself. I am just saddened by my own experiences. I didn't expect people to be change towards me because I did better than them on some exam. I am really shocked that people could behave like this! and hurt...I was really under the impression that we are all in this together...I guess not so much. Lesson learned.
Embrace those that lift you up, avoid those that bring you down.
I share my scores with my study group and with a few other friends if they ask. Generally, it is a sense of "how well did I do compared to my peers" among the people I associate with.
Gossip, etc is bad, but I will venture a guess that MOST people do engage in it, even if they won't call a duck a duck. I generally feel bad about it, but I still do too much of it. Further, if people I don't like, also don't like me... Well, what is the problem? I really don't let the opinions and speculation bother me.
I also have noticed some of the childish highschool like drama in my class. I tend to try to socialize with everyone and not conform myself to one little clique of friends. It's just how I am and how I've always been. Well, there was this one group of students who I ended up befriending at one point and we had started a study group together. But in the last week or two, I noticed some wierd vibes coming my way and almost seemed as if I was being purposefully ignored or shoved away...nothing outright happened, but I noticed the attitudes and just wierd vibes. So I asked one of the girls and she said basically I needed to watch who I said things to and wouldn't say anything else about it. Well, being that I know I haven't said anything to anybody about any of them, all I can guess is that somebody doesn't like me for whatever reason and is trying to start stuff and make them not like me. That's fine. If people want to act that childish then go right ahead. First of all, if somebody told you that I said something about you....wouldn't you come to the source and ask me? Or atleast confront me instead of just believing whatever somebody else says and then start blowing me off? That kind of crap just really ticks me off. I don't have time for B.S. and it's sad that people are acting this way. Well, I'm better off anyways...they all kind of seclude themselves from the rest of the class and never socialize outside of their circle. I've never liked "cliques" like that and I'm not going to start doing so now. I'm just glad next semester I won't have to worry about them anymore since we chose different schedules. Good riddens!
I just found out about the not sharing grades rule a few weeks ago. I'm in my first semester. Before nursing school I was moving through my prereqs with a bunch of the same people every semester and we all shared grades, had a healthy competition thing going, and no one got bent out of shape if one person did better than everyone else. Well, our first test in nursing school yielded a class average of 71, while I made a 92. I learned really fast that I shouldn't have told anyone. Now all the people in the group I hang out with are either mad at me, and seem to think I have no reason to ever complain about or be upset about anything again ever, or they think that I have some secret studying strategy that I refuse to tell them.
One of my best friends is completing a graduate program in physical therapy and she told me the best thing to tell people about your grade is "I did good enough." Too bad I didn't ask her about that before I opened my big mouth.
Yeah, I didn't know about not sharing grades either. I've been doing well on my tests and who knows, maybe that's why people are acting funny. The thing is though, after our test everybody hangs out in the hallway and everybody shares grades. It's the end of my first semester, but I have finally realized and decided that I am not going to share my grades anymore. From now on it will be a vague response. I'm done with the drama!
Stressful situations can bring out the best or the worst in people, whether young, older, or otherwise. Many people are feeling insecure and unsure of themselves during school, and are looking for some form of validation that they're "okay" after stressful exams. Many people rehash questions after the test to relieve their anxiety, but that just personally makes me more anxious. I try to avoid these sorts of situations. I'm friendly to others but know that I'm there for myself and my own personal reasons. It benefits us all to work together, both for "psychosocial" support and for sheer knowledge building. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience and that you got burned! Know that you are doing your best for your patients and for yourself. In the end, this is your license, not your friends'. Best of luck to you.
K nurse-one-day
693 Posts
I agree with the first person who responded. You will make so many wonderful friends when you graduate and start working as a nurse:) Im still a pre-nursing student, but in my anatomy class, I'm good friend with a girl who has made D's and F's on every test. She doesn't pay attention in lecture, she doodles pictures with her hilighters, texts on her phone, and wonders why she fails. I try to encourage her the best I can, but it's ultimately her fault, even though I would never say that to her. She sits right next to me and sometimes I feel like I need to hide my test so she won't see my A's, I don't want her to harbor any animosity toward me lol! Unfortunately the drama-lama can follow you wherever you go. But you just focus on yourself and get through nursing school. Don't let toxic people bring you down. You have worked too hard for that! Good luck!!!