Nursing instructor blues

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HI All, I felt so deflated after my lectures today. There are 2 nursing instructors in my program who give me the distinct feeling that they don't think much of me. I'm not constantly obsessing about it, but the seed has been planted in my subconscious...it has brought down my feelings about everything connected with nursing school, and even contributed to doubts about whether nursing is really for me...

It's crazy because I am not a kid, I am a grandmother, for pete's sake. I have a 4.0 GPA. I turn to jelly, I get really deflated around these women, feel like a no-account. I have thought that if was all in my head a few times and just gone ahead and gone to one or the other with a question. Each time I am invariably left hanging, feeling frozen out, my need for information not satisfied...why do I persist in approaching these particular instructors? I now longer will.

I know this is a call for me to toughen up, get a thicker skin, get some new coping skills. But--those things don't just happen...they have to be grown. In the meantime, I went and paid a visit to a school counseler who I like, and it really helped to see the friendly face of a friend in the cafeteria. But up until I did these things, I was off my square to the point where I couldn't fake it...I was a ball of insecurity. This is what nursing school is reducing me to.

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Yep, that sounds about right. The good news is you are not alone. Apparently, it's normal to have nursing instructors that don't think much of certain students. But keep in mind, there probably will be an instructor or two that you will have that will instill the love of nursing and learning in you. My first year was rough. My senior year (second year) was awesome. I had an instructor who I absolutely adore and she nutured my love for public health and now, my long term goals are to go into public health.

Don't let one or two instructors destroy your interest in nursing. Good luck! :hug:

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What makes you think they don't care for you?

Can you speak with them privately.

I had an instructor in LPN school, who u thought didn't like me, and when I spoke to her she said. She was tougher on me because, she knew I was capable of the hard work, and kept my bar high because of it.

Not that it made it easier on me, but she didn't hate me as I thought.

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Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

Nursing school will make you insecure. The trick is to try your best not to show it. Most of the other students are probably feeling this way too. A word to the wise- please don't verbalize in class or clinical that you are insecure or nervous unless it is an instructor or a class mate you can trust. I did this in nursing school and it worked to my disadvantage. Please, please do not do this. I have got in more hot water for verbalizing how I felt even though people have a right to their feelings please vent on all nurses or to a trusted confidant otherwise it will come back to bite you.

Towards peace my friend,

Sista

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Specializes in Med/Surg,Cardiac.

Nursing instructors are people too. They probably didn't intentionally mean to make you feel bad, but their lives are intensely stressful as well. Do well in school and I'm sure they'll love you!

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It's tough and like the others say everyone is feeling the same as you are but probably hide it well enough. We all went through the same experience and it's something you must get used to since it gets tougher out there with co-workers who treat new nurses like crap...not all, but you'll get exposed to those crotchety nurses. Think of it as practice for getting a thicker skin.

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Yeah, some of what all of you replied has passed through my mind throughout the day...all replies are good advice. Kimynurse, curious about how you broached the issue with your instructor...obviously you can't say, "You got a problem with me?" Maybe something like, "I'd appreciate any feedback you could give me....? dadadada" Must have been nice to have your gloomy suspicions dispelled.

I do need a thicker skin, and I will be doing a lot of positive self-talk this semester. I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Maybe it's just the opposite, maybe because my grades are good, they figure I don't have the same needs as a lot of the other students.

I know all are run through the gauntlet and have their mettle tested in nursing school. I agree with sistasoul that its better to not voice the insecurities out loud...or to just anyone. Most people in nursing school seem to want to stick with the winners, and it's got a really competetive vibe where I am, in a big city. Voicing the insecurities can get you on a downward spiral that can be hard to come back up from.

What helps me the most is to help someone else...I like helping the ESL students. I think I have it hard, but I can barely even imagine going through nursing school in a second language.

I'll FOTG. (focus on the good)

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Just a humble advice from a newbie: smile and be courteous with everybody especially your instructors. Give it some time. I'm in my first semester, so i'm not familiar with the nursing world yet, but I kind of felt the same way the first week of class. I didn't know anyone and nobody would talk to me. The instructors wouldn't even make eye contact with me. It's been 3 weeks, and I'm barely starting to make friends and getting to know my instructors. Be positive, and keep your eye on the goal. Don't ever ever let anyone make you feel less of a person. Good luck in nursing school! :-)

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I can completely agree with you zephyr9! In nursing school I actually had 2 nursing instructors that were hard on students, me in particular. I don't know if it was because I am a male coming into a female dominated career that they were harsh or what it really was? I had one instructor tell me in the first year of my LPN schooling that all of the students that got C's (i'm not super book smart) would never pass nursing school at all. Well I rushed in after my boards to tell her in fact that I had passed my boards first time when a few of the other A+ students had not passed because they stated they did not need to study. After this, she was a lot nicer and explained that she never did try and hurt anyones feelings with her remarks. The second instructor I had went down a looooong list of things I was not good at like patient care, time management, med administration, care plans, etc. I later learned that she had said this to most of the students so I did not feel so singled out. I had a hard time getting over what the two instructors said, but now that I am a nurse and work in the hospital, I have an overwhelming amount of patients tell me how kind and compassionate I am so that dispels anything I was told in school! Basically, keep your head up, you'll be an amazing nurse I just know it!!! :)

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I think a large part of nursing school is to beat us down in order to build us up into what they think makes a good nurse. My fellow students and I joked about this during our first semester. It was pure hell. However we had an AMAZING clinical instructor that build us up and reminded us that we were valued. Hang in there. I think some nursing instructors are mean, but I think others try force you to have thick skin (I think we need it in the real world)

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I can completely agree with you zephyr9! In nursing school I actually had 2 nursing instructors that were hard on students, me in particular. I don't know if it was because I am a male coming into a female dominated career that they were harsh or what it really was? I had one instructor tell me in the first year of my LPN schooling that all of the students that got C's (i'm not super book smart) would never pass nursing school at all. Well I rushed in after my boards to tell her in fact that I had passed my boards first time when a few of the other A+ students had not passed because they stated they did not need to study. After this, she was a lot nicer and explained that she never did try and hurt anyones feelings with her remarks. The second instructor I had went down a looooong list of things I was not good at like patient care, time management, med administration, care plans, etc. I later learned that she had said this to most of the students so I did not feel so singled out. I had a hard time getting over what the two instructors said, but now that I am a nurse and work in the hospital, I have an overwhelming amount of patients tell me how kind and compassionate I am so that dispels anything I was told in school! Basically, keep your head up, you'll be an amazing nurse I just know it!!! :)

In my LPN we had a nurse who said the same thing. That C students wont make it, I really think know that I know her more that it was motivation. I am not sure if it worked for you but I know when I heard that I was like "OH crap, I better study my butt off!" It worked for me I graduated the top of my class in LPN and passed my boards the first try. I know one C student and we formed a study group, he said that C speech freaked him out, he graduated with a high B and passed his boards first try. He was just recently accepted into an LPN-Rn program. I honestly think sometimes they just give you tough love, so you do work to your full potential.

Congrats on passing the boards as a "not super book smart", on your first try! You kicked butt and proved to yourself and her that you were above that statement.

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You all are the best!! I am going to mark this post and come back to it when I need to be picked up. I love it that some of you got all the way through and come back to student posts to give encouragement, and I love hearing from youall who are right there with me. Thanks so much for the moral support,

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