Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other - page 15

This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction. I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me... Read More

  1. by   vhern246
    Omg. I just realized that i've been telling doctors and nurses that my grandfather has a touch of emphysema.

    I'm a nursing student.

  2. by   LaylaHendrix23
    my fiance and i were watching a show and the womans water broke. he then asks me how long she has to get to the hospital since she was taking a shower and getting things ready before she left. he then asks me "well shouldnt she hurry to the hospital because now the baby can't breathe...since all the fluid is gone the baby is going to die!" i was like lol....the baby is not going to die. it was just so funny cause he was so clueless!

    he always asks silly questions and has no always cracks me up! but it always gives me an opportunity to practice teaching so its all good! lol!
  3. by   sharpeimom
    i called my elderly aunt tonight and while we were talking, she told me a friend's husband had had an m.i., but went right on to tell me she was thankful that, at least, he hadn't had a heart attack.

    she's almost 90, and frightens easily, so i didn't correct her.
  4. by   GHGoonette
    Quote from Moogie
    A friend who had been in the military once told me that when any of his fellow officers got an STD, he'd say it was dysentery to avoid embarrassment.

    Unfortunately, one of the young officers DID get dysentery! (Did he say he had an STD, then?)

    Did you know that, during WW2, soldiers coming home from North African service frequently came home with STDs. Their favorite excuse? They caught it from the camels...
  5. by   CNL2B
    Me: I'm really tired today, honey (after working a 12 hour shift).

    Husband (a salaried business guy) : Why? You don't have any responsibility. Somebody just finishes all your work after you leave.

    We still fight about this one all the time.
  6. by   AngelfireRN
    Me: Lord, my back is killing me, I hope I don't have a kidney stone.
    DH:Well, if you do, it's your own fault, you shouldn't have eaten all those blueberries.
    Me:What does THAT have to do with a stone?
    DH: All those little seeds probably got together in a stone and stopped your kidneys up.
    Me: Sigh, and fight the laughter.
  7. by   canesdukegirl
    Quote from Elvish
    'Tis an auto filter indeed. For the same reason when you're describing purulent drainage using another also-can-be-misconstrued word, it gets filtered out too.
    This makes me laugh! We were doing an I&D one day and I hear the surgeon dictating on the phone. He said the alternate word for purulent drainage, but added an "ie" sound at the end. When he hung up, I asked him how he thinks the telephone auto-dictation would actually spell out that word. He immediately called and deleted the dictation!
  8. by   canesdukegirl
    Quote from S.Gettes
    My significant other has a brother who is nothing short of a severe exaggerater when it comes to his stories. There is always some kind of fantastical story coming out of my brother in laws mouth and they are always hard, if not impossible for me to believe, sadly though there are some who fall for all of his stories and hang off of his every word. The best one that had me laughing right mid story, causing everyone around me to look at me intrigued as to what i found so amusing, was when he told of how he had been water skiing and had broken his leg by way of a bad fall from the skiis, He said it was a bad break, penetrated the skin, snapped the bone clean in half. This aparrently occured when he was away on holiday for 2 weeks, so within this 2 weeks he managed to heal completely and come home to tell us all about it? Miraculous, and then when asked about the hospital and how they repaired such a significant break he simply told us that they glued the bone back together with the same glue they use to close wounds and then glued the wound closed and wrapped his leg in a tight bandage to keep the bone in place whilst the glue set. And yes, he does know what i do for a living....
    Oh wow! What a fishing story that was! How I WISH that there was something like glue to repair bones! I bet you had to hold your stomach you were laughing so hard! What a dork!
  9. by   canesdukegirl
    Very funny story:

    My friend who works in the sales industry absolutely loves the show "Nurse Jackie". She is an educated woman, but she has a learning disability and sometimes does not understand what she is hearing, especially when it comes to medical terminology. I have encouraged her to expand on her vocabulary, and she has a comfort level with me that allows her to "try out" big words without the fear of ridicule. She was telling me about one particular episode where the new nurse, Zoe is trying to get Jackie's attention for a code that was rolling through the door. Zoe comes into the room yelling, "Jackie, this patient needs to be intubated STAT!" It was Jackie's hilarious reaction to the flustered Zoe that my friend was trying to convey, but instead of saying the word "intubated", my friend said "incubated" and I missed the entire point of her story. I was laughing so hard I was crying!
  10. by   sassy_squirrel
    Quote from KirriG
    You can tell him that I had one after my third child and my childless sister has had one too.
    My mum too after having me.
  11. by   mustlovepoodles
    "Hey, watcha doing?" This phone call, at 12noon, after a grueling 14hr shift. And you know I had to go back in at 7pm Oy~ It took me a while to get through to him that he was NOT to wake me except on the occasion of nuclear holocaust or my hair was on fire...
  12. by   Feathers
    I'm still in the process of reading this thread. Some of these are hysterical! I'm a new grad, but have been a PCT on night shift for the last few years.

    One night a pt (approx. 40 y/o) put on his call light at about 0300-0400. So I go into his room to see what he needed. First words outta his mouth... "I didn't wake you up, did I?" *sigh*
  13. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from Feathers
    One night a pt (approx. 40 y/o) put on his call light at about 0300-0400. So I go into his room to see what he needed. First words outta his mouth... "I didn't wake you up, did I?" *sigh*
    When I was in an assisted living facility, I did have to wake up a caregiver. Thankfully, I had my own phone so I could call by phone. I do not have a good word for that place, nor will I ever recommend it to anyone.

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