Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 58

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   shrinky
    This is a story told to me by one of my OB residents, and yes it did happen. He was called to the ER one night to see if he could help them with this male patient that had come in that night. Well he told them that he did not usually deal with men but they told him that this was an unusual case. They took him into the cubicle and lifted the sheet and there around the testes was a lock and they did not know what to do. THe guy swore that he had fallen asleep and only he and his mom were home at the time and when he woke up there was the lock. The ER doc had to call in a locksmith who got a good chuckle and paid well. Here's another one from long ago which is funny now but was quite sad at the time. A young teenaged girl comes in pregnant and didn't understand how she could have gotten pregnant as she did what her brother had told her to do. She drank a lot of Pepsi and he had told her if she drank a lot of pepsi she would not get pregnant. So much for birth control.
  2. by   joanncm109
    When I was a student nurse, we had a general surgeon who would always write an order to "dress bid and prn".
    A fellow student in my class had a patient of this surgeon's one day. She had this patient to get up out of bed
    in the am and put his street clothes on before she walked him around the hallway! I thought our instructor was
    going to die of embarrassment in front of the staff nurses when everyone found out what she did!!
  3. by   joanncm109
    Many years ago, I got pulled to an OB unit. When I got ready to chart, I opened up this particular chart and low and behold this is what I read from the previous nurse: "Vaginal packing out, Dr. Goodwin in" !!! LMAO !!!!!!!!
    The good old days of long hand charting!!
  4. by   joanncm109
    I used to do pre ops for a pediatric surgery unit. One of the questions I asked if the pt. was young enough was "Do you feed your baby table foods?" One day, as I was asking the questions, I got the strangest look from a mom. She answered "No, just regular foods." Seems I had asked her if she fed her child
    "table scraps" !!!!
  5. by   mahjia
    I am not sure if i'd consider this one funny but maybe amusing. A mother of G3P2 was admitted in the ward. The OB doctor came to examine her and only 2 cm and not in pain. Thus the doctor ordered for Prostin and was received 2mg.I returned to her room to get her vital signs and to assess her labor pain which is only little. I instructed her to stay on bed for about an hour.

    After about 10-15minutes a scream was heard along the corridor. We rushed on one room thought its where the sound came from (and was also where the housekeeper pointed us). But it isnt. Rather on the next room where I have been 15minutes ago. So we rushed in inside, the bathroom is open and there was the mother right just beside the toilet towering her belly slightly feet apart screaming..

    Oh my God! What is that 'thing' hanging between your legs, Mama? Good thing my adrenaline woke my sleepy brain fast and ordered my hand to catch that 'falling thing'. Its a baby!! And as all nurses would do, I encouraged her to go on and that everything is fine.

    How could that be too fast?

    The mother just stood there starstrucked staring on her angel fell on my ungloved hand crying on his mighty voice. For a moment co-Nurses came to assist followed by the lady doctor. We ushered the mother still me holding the baby to the bed for the cutting of umbilical and both rushed to L&D for evacuation of placenta and for settling the baby.

    As i washed my hands on the lavatory I have felt my knees shaked along with my hands. There the effects of adrenaline withdrawal haha. Nevertheless, it all went fine. The scene that had just occured now a laughing scenario for the unit's 'history'. Specially for the reason that the mother thought she has the feeliong of passing stool that time that she gone to the bathroom.. and exerted effort to empty a ''big stool''.

    A funny one maybe for my co-workers but a very amazing memory for me that gave me a cloud-9 feeling.
  6. by   adoptionacres
    As a student, I was working on a med/surg floor when a very large, very drunk man was brought to the room. He had wet himself and for some passive aggressive reason, the ER doc wanted a UA (can you say drunk and obnoxious, not infected?) The floor nurses all looked at each other and said, "So who's it gonna be?" I told them that as the stupid nursing student, I would be delighted to cath this unconscious gentleman. 4 nurses, one on each corner, were there to assist as we all expected him to wake up swinging. I got all ready and prepped and we pulled back the cover and the room went silent. Everybody looked at each other with a "what now?" expression. The stupid nursing student gamely proceeded to 'firmly grasp' with the 2 fingers that would fit and start the cleaning and insertion process. The insertion didn't insert. I kept trying and we were all thinking that this was really going to burn the next time he had to pee. 4 RN's :heartbeat trying to give suggestions on how to do the cath (I mean, it's a guy-only one hole, right?) Only 1/2" in and it would stop! Finally, I start turning the p3nis over and looking at it more closely and realize that he has a hypospadies (if there's one anomaly, there's probably more than one!) At that point, seeing the size of the orofice, I gave up. We all decided that if the MD really needed a urine, he could cath the patient himself. Go figure, he didn't really need it! Once the guy sobered up and woke up, he went on his merry way, fortunately w/o burning from the somewhat abused false hole.
  7. by   ellymay
    Quote from joanncm109
    When I was a student nurse, we had a general surgeon who would always write an order to "dress bid and prn".
    A fellow student in my class had a patient of this surgeon's one day. She had this patient to get up out of bed
    in the am and put his street clothes on before she walked him around the hallway! I thought our instructor was
    going to die of embarrassment in front of the staff nurses when everyone found out what she did!!
    Embarrassing maybe but she has probably repeated that story and gotten many laughs..:chuckle
  8. by   ellymay
    Quote from SouthernBelle25RN
    As a bush nurse in Alaska...

    A patient arrived to the ED after driving his ATV (4-wheeler) off a 20-foot embankment...He was spitting mad and angry at the troopers, drunk as a skunk, covered in dirt and VERY injured...this is the FULL story of what happend...

    Apparently he had "a few beers" and decided to go for a midnight ATV drive. Well, the light on his ATV was broken, so being the innovative Alaskan that he was...he decided to use a finger light (you know one of those little lights that clip onto your finger so you can write in the dark) as his ONLY light. Suffice it to wasn't bright enough...he drove straight off a cliff and landed face down in the dirt. When troopers arrived on scene, he was cursing and screaming at the troopers to "get the light out of my eyes" and to "stop shining that &*%$ light in my eyes". Apparently the Troopers found him face down with his hand next to his face...the pen light on his finger was shining in his eye and every time he went to cover his eyes from the light...he'd blind himself with it again!!!!!...

    Ha ha ha...I had to share this story...even though it happend before the patient came to's still hilarious at how mad the pt was at the troopers.
    What an idiot....that is funny
  9. by   Lara911
    Working at a health phone line, a guy called for a severe pain in the foot. My collegue asked him a few question to make sure there were no emergency, so she asked is it swollen, red, how much is the pain, how is the temperature of that leg, and the man kept answering ..well i don t she was a little tired and finally said...well it should not be that complicated to answer my question, if you compare with your other foot is it bigger, warmer ...and the man said...well i don t know!!...i just have one leg!!
  10. by   Lara911
    Another phone line..
    a woman called to ask what she should do now...her husband was on a trip and she needed sex and she remembered one time her husband took a finger to stimulate her in the rectum than she tried this with a pen but now she lost the pen in and could not find it anymore so she wanted to know if she need to go to the emergency....I think so..and don't forget to SIGN your admission form...
  11. by   Lara911
    The best one from a friend of mine who does not speak english at all...
    my collegue was on her training for olderly (?)...the guy she worked with told her at 17hr we need to go fast, we go in each room and we install everyone in bed or chair for the meal coming at 17h30 . He told her, you start at one end of the hallway and I start the other side and we have to meet in the middle, so go fast. She did what he asked for, really motivated to get the job. She went in every room and installed every body, bed up , table in front of them and even the towel to cover the one room, she saw a old lady in the bed and next to her, a younger one was crying. She said to herself, probably the daughter findind hard to be next her sick old mom in the hospital. She installed the old lady ready for lunch and the other one keep repeating the same thing but she spoke english and my friend did not catch a word. She was really proud being that fast and got the the nurse zone where the head nurse asked to talk to her. The head nurse asked; do you speak friend said...a little.. The head nurse told her, you know the lady in the room numberxx, she was triyng to tell you something. My friend said i know but I did not understand nothing so I installed her mother and left. Well, she was trying to tell her that her mother just died!!!
  12. by   sharpeimom
    when i was told we were getting a new admit about midnight, i was warned to expect a real character. she had been picked up by the state police and brought right to the locked psych dept. where i worked, bypassing the er completely. she came and i introduced myself and all i could think of was "ma" played by ruth gordon in the clint eastwood movie, every which way but loose. it was early fall and she was wearing (among her many layers) longjohns that she'd evidently worn for quite awhile. it had apparently been some time since her last bath or shampoo. i thanked the officers and, trying to kill two birds with one stone, asked whether she'd like to relax with a shower on this cool night before having a snack and then i'd tuck her in. she admitted that might feel nice. i ended up helping her undress and all was well until she was down to her longjohns and wanted to shower in them. i reassured her that we'd find her a nice warm nightie and that we had warm blankets. she finally told me she always washed her undies when she showered or bathed because it saved time and soap and "all i have to do afterwards is wring 'em out and hand 'em up to dry." o-kay...

  13. by   diane227
    Today we got a patient and here is the story. She is in her 60's. She fell down drunk on her living room floor. Her husband was at home and he wanted to call 911 but she said no. He could not get her up on the sofa so he let her lay there. He fed her and gave her smokes, and just let her lay there for three days. So finally she said they better call an ambulance. Now, how stupid can you get? I did not even ask what they did about the potty details.