Published
1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.
2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because she doesn't want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday she's had off in years.
3) You've been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.
I couldn't stop laughing!!
LMR...you are my twin!! I also have 3 kids-6,10, & 12-and they know not to see me unless there is blood or a bone protruding. Screaming is good because I know they are breathing...so this they know I ignore!!
Family calls up with a problem and we begin with their bowel habits for the last few days and instructions to drink LOTS of water.
My husband also gets upset with me, especially since he's started working out. What is it with men and their enormous---veins!! I was sitting in the movie theater the other day, just holding my husband's hand (or so I thought) but he quickly pulled away because he said I was feeling for his veins!!
I could hit those without a tourniquet AND blindfolded!!
What can I say? My husband says a nurse has to be one the most unsympathetic people when it comes to family. My kids get a cold and he's saying take them to the Dr., and I say give them the cold medicine and ride it out as the Dr's only going to say that we have to ride it out or give unnecessary abx. They get a cut and it's drag out the steristrips or butterflies, not go to the er for freezing and 2 stitches.And yes if they have a stomache ache, when's the last time the bowels moved and was it diarrhea or constipation. It did backfire once when one of my sons developed pneumonia, but for the most part most of the episodes are minor in my estimation (never in theirs of course).
It must be nurses world wide who are hard to live with. My daughter broke her arm while we were camping, she came and told me while I was doing the dishes. I finished the dishes before driving her to hospital. My son sliced his foot open on a broken glass in kitchen. After I had the bleeding under control I mopped the kitchen floor before taking him to hospital. He also had his 10 stitches put in under local and he was five years old. The doctor couldn't believe he could be so calm. Obviously the doctor wasn't married to a nurse! In regards to tv shows well I think Chicago Hope takes the cake. I have been an OR nurse for 15 years at a major trauma hospital and I have never seen such stuff in my life. Great entertainment.
OMG, we are all the same! My kids ALWAYS tell me when their last BM was when they tell me that have a stomachache. My husband pulls his arms away in fear when I start caressing his veins (yes, I could hit them from across the room!) When my daughter fell off the slide and hit her head, she promptly told me all her symptoms--her head hurt, her vision was blurry and she was nauseated (when she threw up x2, we did go to the ER). And I've told my husband, the smoker, that he'll have to carry his own 02 tank when the times comes!
I love this. My hubby had c-spine surgery and the doc gave him muscle relaxers and tyl#3. Since my hubby is a moderate drinker I said, " You're not drinking and taking muscle relaxers ". He says, " Yeah, thats what the nurse said." He doesn't listen to me, I'm just the wife. The only time he really listened was when he became constipated from pain meds. I advised prune juice and MOM. After 1 wk, I said " Well, if you don't poop today, I'll have to give you an enema, and I might have to dig it out if your're impacted". That night he pooped.
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My boyfriend is a respiratory therapist and we work at the same hospital. My favorite story is how one night I was griping about the redneck ways in which people in Tennessee refer to their health problems. For example: "high blood" = high blood pressure. People also suffer from "sugar diabetes", "yellow jaundice", and "oldtimers"(alzheimer's). The next thing I know, we're watching a TV show in which Loretta Lynn is being interviewed and mentions her husband had died of "sugar diabetes". I swear it must be some Southern trait. I just rolled my eyes but my boyfriend belly laughed. It sure is nice having a partner also in the health care profession who can laugh with you at these crazy medical things!
Sometimes at the end of a long night shift I can get a little punchy (This has gotten worse since I started nursing school ) I was taking a stool specimen down the hall to the lab and passed an older Dr. coming into the hospital to make rounds. I knew this doc had a sense of humor. So I said, Hey, Dr.------, you want some? He said, No thanks I had mine already. OHHHH! My husband(who works in the hospital laundry) thought that was hilarious.
Good one! But if we get into bathroom/
bedpan humour, this thread will be a mile long in no time! Everyone who's been a nurse for any length of time has their favorite sh**/pee story.
My favorite bedpan story concerns a hospital north of Toronto, which shall remain nameless. In this hospital, back in the Dark Ages when doctors were God, nurses and other lowly life forms were supposed to back up against the wall when a doctor approached, so as not to delay his progress down the hall. This practise had mostly stopped, as newer and more progressive-minded physicians came on staff. However, there was still one old curmudgeon on staff, who insisted that the nurses bow and scrape when he passed by.
One day, this very senior nurse was carrying a full bedpan down the hall to be dumped in the dirty utility room. The Doctor hollered at her as he approached, "Against the wall, nurse!" The nurse, pretending to be startled by his bellow, whipped around abruptly, and sloshed the contents of the bed pan all down the front of his nice white coat and expensive suit! Of course, she pretended it was all an accident, and apologized profusely!
My husband heard this story from the nurse when he was asked by the hospital to put on a course in management/employee relations. I wonder why it was needed!
Oh! Me too!!! My husband is deathly afraid of needles and when I start to inspect his veins he yells and runs away yelling "get away from me you vampire!" LOL!
Originally posted by rninformatics:LOL all wonderful stories!!!!!!
My husband is in fear of me starting an IV on him. When he covers my hand with his
his hand or I see his hands or forearms, I can't help it "Oh what beautiful veins!" "I could get that one without a tourniquet!!!!!
You know you are a nurse when..
You have the bladder of a camel
You look longingly at the hands of healthy people and relatives hoping to find the perfect vein (no one in my family comes over anymore)
You watch those medical dramas on tv and say "That isn't what they are supposed to do"
You can walk miles and miles during the day and still never seem to go anywhere
If you were scrubs out in public and are identified as a nurse the check out people start asking you "What do you think that this red thing on my arm is"
You assess people walking in the mall with your eyes of their potential diagnosis "there is the COPD'er, the diabetic.."
JaneRN
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