It's hard to live with a nurse because...

Nurses Humor

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1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.

2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because she doesn't want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday she's had off in years.

3) You've been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.

I am an RN who worked f/t in the Lab and as a Pathology assistant in the morgue while enrolled in f/t nursing school and raising 4 boys and 1 girl. My husband is an EMT. No one gets much sympathy around here!

Our 15 year old son, a "whiner" from birth, came home whining he had wrecked his bike (his prized posession) and began to howl about his many injuries. (He whined when he got an itch so I wasn't terribly concerned). I was peeling potatoes and never turned around until he told me his bike was in the ditch 2 miles down the road!!! The right side of his face, sholder and left knee looked like hamburger and when he took off his helmet (thank you God), it came off in three pieces! I sat him down, checked neuros and vitals, then my EMT husband took over the assessment and gave him a bottle of peroxide, toothbrush and gauze while I finished making dinner as he bandaged and cleaned himself up. Last winter he called on the 2-way radio from camp to ask if we still had some steristrips because he missed the wood with the camp axe. He came limping home pulled the skin together with steristrips after a thorough cleansing and went back up on the mountain for the rest of the weekend. He is 19 now and has stopped whining, almost. He lives by himself now and works as a dishwasher/busboy. When he cut himself with a BIG knife he was too embarassed to go to the ER so he stitched it himself with the sewing kit his sister gave him for a going away present. Darn good job too! He told me "It really hurt, but I didn't whine!" Maybe a tiger can change his stripes!

Originally posted by rninformatics:

LOL all wonderful stories!!!!!!

My husband is in fear of me starting an IV on him. When he covers my hand with his

his hand or I see his hands or forearms, I can't help it "Oh what beautiful veins!" "I could get that one without a tourniquet!!!!!

This is my first posting, so I hope I do it right. I had to respond to this one, LOL. I can't tell you how many times I have met strangers and immediately sized up their veins. I always tell my husband that I could easily get a 16 guage in his arm with no problem. He just stares at me, looking confused. He doesn't get it. LOL, he is learning to live with a nurse. We will be celibrating our 2 yr anniversary next week!!! Great stories in here everyone, Thanks for the biggrin.gif

My husband, an electrician, bolted upright at 3A c/o severe pain to his right hand. After assessing pules and cap refill, determined his circulation was not impaired. Upon further questions, turns out that during the day at work, a light bulb had broken in his hand causing some minor cuts which he washed and continued working - "You will NOT go to an ER at this hour, take something for pain and see Occupational Health in the morning" was my firm direction to which he complied. The following day OH discovered three imbedded glass fragments in his hand, one which was pressing on a nerve causing the pain. He still tells people that after sending me to nursing school for four years, he gets no better advice then "take some pain meds and see the doctor in the morning!"

One more story: When my four children were in grammar school and my husband and I were both working time, there was no such thing as "sick days" even for them unless REALLY necessary. One day I received a call from school saying that my oldest son was in the office c/o stomach ache and needed to be picked up. I worked nearby so on my lunch I stopped and home first, and armed with thermometer, peptobismal and tylenol, went to the school office to assess my son. He could not convince me by emesis, fever or appearance that he was legitimately ill so I gave him peptobismal and sent him back to class much to the principal's amusement. (She didn't think he was really sick either). Later found out that he really hadn't been sick but didn't like the substitute teacher he had for the day. That is the last "fake" sick call any of the kids ever tried to pull to get out of school - it the old "Mom's a nurse" thing!

My 14 year old son was mortified when I was talking to him and one of his friends about the dangers of having sex and all the diseases you can get, etc. etc. In my zeal, I got one of my nursing books and showed them a picture of a very, ugly, diseased member. He is 19 now and I don't think he has forgiven me yet.

Are we all clones? I too correct the medical shows and often have a good laugh during parts that are suppose to be serious causing anyone in the room(except of course anyone else that may be in the medical profession)to look at me like I have lost my mind. My children were trained very early in their lives that if there isn't profuse bleeding, protruding bones and if you can tell me what happened then you are conscious and breathing and it isn't a medical emergency so the danger doesn't lie with your injuries it is in waking Mommy up from a much needed nap. My entire family consists of the medical and law professions, in other words, if your not a criminal with big veins(yes, I too catch myself scanning peoples veins) in cardiac arrest you won't get much rise out of any of us! But I look on the bright side, my kids have the most realistic "wounds" on Halloween of any kid in the neighborhood. For this I am a hero in their eyes!

Oh my! A very conscientious and thorough nurse on our unit was soooooo tired after her first baby. She'd come to work just dragging! One day she admitted that she had been waking up every two hours to reposition her little one!!! We still have a great laugh over that even years later!!

When my husband and I first started dating, I couldn't help but check his arms for "good" veins. He's used to it now...... smile.gif

Specializes in CVICU/SICU/CCU/HH/ADMIN.

Well, you know when a TV patient's supposed to be on the ventilator and they show him with nasal O2 and an old MA-1 ventilator standing at the bedside with the bellows going up and down and he's talking! We just can't let it pass, that's all. I like veins, too. But I guess I'm meaner than the rest of you because when my older kids got sick I'd yell after them as they ran down the hall, "Don't hurl on the floor or you'll have to clean it up yourself!" Don't frown at me too hard--I'd really help them clean it up--sometimes.

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Trella

You know you're a nurse...

1. When you can go through an entire 12 hour shift without once going to the bathroom.

2. When your relatives think that "R.N." stands for "Rich Nurse" & are always around every payday.

3. When everytime you shake someone's hand, you look to see if they have nice veins.

4. When people can tell your occupation by just looking at your watch. (mine has a heart tracing across the face and shows military time in red).

5. When your child is sick and has to have labs drawn, you tell the phlebotomist which vein to go for ("she has a nice vein in the left antecub....")

6. When your 4 year old daughter knows what "lungs", "heart", "kidneys", & abdomen" are AND can point out their location.

When my son was about 10 yrs old his father calls me at work to say he is bringing him into the ER, he had fallen from my horse and prob. had a concussion. I'm asking about pupils and he's trying to drive on a dangerous curvey coastal road. I tell him to give the phone to my son and proceed to do a semi neuro check - and yes, he had NO short term memory. If anything serious he would have ended up in my unit (great care but mommy RN's nightmare) No serious sequelea thank God. Course,a few years later when he broke both ulnar and radial in the tree swing, I was scheduled to work that night, I spent the first part of my shift in the ER and then I took freq breaks to check on him on the floor. Had to reset in the OR but we were having a scheduled elect. maint. shutdown and only emerg OR allowed. We were severely short staffed and thats what dads are for. I also remember being in nursing school and having a neighbor kid tell me my son had fallen off his skateboard and hurt himself, I tilted my head to listen and said "I don't hear him yelling" then started running when the kid said my boy couldn't. (He had gotten a helmet the day before but the same neighbor kid told him he looked stupid!) He was just coming around when I got there, only a few houses away. Among the crowd were men wanting to pick him up. I was adament not to touch him, he was stirring, got up himself and I got him into the car and to the ER, again mild concusssion. He is blessed with my thick head and strong constitution. Has somehow avoided the head thing for years now and is very smart, but doesn't whine. No blood No bandaid.

I just love these stories. It is really a nice break. I also look for the veins of not only my family but anyone I meet gets at least a once over. I can eat a full meal in 5 min. flat (My mother refuses to eat in a restaurant with me. I am always done looooong before the rest of the bunch). My children are also well aware of the rules. No blood, no bones, no sweat. I love being a nurse. Thanks for the uplift.

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