It's hard to live with a nurse because...

Nurses Humor

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1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.

2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because she doesn't want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday she's had off in years.

3) You've been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.

I AM SO GLAD TO SEE THAT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT GETS UPSET AT SOME OF THE MEDICAL SHOWS.MY ROOMATE HATES TO WATCH THEM WITH ME BECAUSE IM YELLING SO MUCH HE CANT HEAR WHATS GOING ON. JANE

Originally posted by Roach:

Every time my husband pulls out his can of snuff,(Tx thing), he has to hear my long version of lip, throat, and tongue cancer. I always ask him how he will eat when he is old when he doesn't have any lips to hold in the food. He hates to watch medical shows with me, "they wouldn't do that" always comes out of my mouth and "Oh, plleeaasssee! That wouldn't work."

WHEN MY FAMILY GETS TOGETHER AND TALKS ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIER LIFE AND THIER JOBS IT HAS NOW BEEN AGREED THAT I CAN ONLY SAY ITS GOING GOOD. NONE OF MY CLOSE FAMILY ARE NURSE AND DONT UNDERSTAND HOW I DO IT, BUT I TELL THEM I CANT SEE ME DOING ANYTHING ELSE.IT IS EITHER IN YOUR BLOOD OR NOT.

Originally posted by chile1v:

My husband and kids get a triple whammy. Both of my folks are respiratory therapists! My family begs for meals without medical talk! At the same time, my 14 year old son wants to come work a shift with me and "swears" he can maintain confidentiality! LOL

In how many other professions could you find a person with a dead body on one side and a pile of poop on the other, enjoying a meal. It could be the only time all noc that they'll find time to eat.

Having been a nurse for 20 yrs, my family agrees it's great I can fix all their dumbass attacks, but they have to do something totally wicked or life threatening to get much sympathy from me. ER nurses have some of the most warped senses of humor and still gets excited when something or someone comes in that can still truly shock them. I love pts that say. you probably aren't going to beleive this-----and I tell them, sure I beleive just about anything.There isn't alot I haven't seen or heard over the yrs, but ever once in awhile something makes my mouth hang open. I always love hearing others stories because they are so funny and so true. I like the way we can found true humor in stupid things pts do sometimes. I don't mean in a mean way, just amused of how people will do/try just about anything and never consider the consequence.

I am the only nurse (LPN in Associate Degree program) in our immediate neighborhood, and am also an EMT and a master gardener, so everybody in the surrounding blocks brings whatever trauma, be it human, animal, or plant to my house, expecting me to "fix" it. I spend more time off dealing with cuts, scrapes, broken bones of all sorts (including wings and chipmunk legs) and dead whatevers.....Sometimes the dead things are unrecognizeable, and the kids want them "fixed"! Most of the time I reach for tape and bandages, popsicle sticks, or the car keys...I have the biggest wagon in the neighborhood, and most of the kids want the "nursey" to take them to the doctor....

What a life! I wouldn't trade it for anything.....

MRed

My family complains that all the others get sympathy while they have to do with "don't worry it will go away or there isn't much to do for it." When I return home after a patient has demised my kids always want the gory details of how did they die. My set answer is always that they had cardiac arrest. Did you ever see a dead person who's heart was working properly???

My favorite questions to my kids when they get hurt. Are you breathing? Can you walk? Are you bleeding bad? If they answer yes to the first two and no to the last then I say "Well your okay then." They get little sypmathy from me.

My husband and I are both nurses. Cardiac nurses no less. We are a blended family with 4 girls, 16,15, 11, 5. One day when the older girls were watching TV my 5 y/o walked through the living room as the 15 y/o was saying "what are they doing?" my 5 y/o paused briefly looked at the TV and said "Geez, his heart has stopped so they are defribrillating him!". She also monitors smokers telling her grandpa that if he continues to smoke he will get lung cancer, bronchitis, yellow teeth and look much older than he really is.

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Julia A Bennett

What a laugh! And I thought I was the only one who had no sympathy for my kids. Yes I also ask "is there blood, can you breath, are there bones protruding, hows your head, how many fingers am I holding up?" Now I don't feel so "mean".

In fact, when my kids were small & often fell over, they were always the ones who bounced up pretty quick and got on with things. Now if I do hear them screaming, I race outside knowing they are REALLY hurt.

And yes, I also give a running commentary on ER, that is wrong, ect. The family just leave the room & come back in an hour.

Hey,ER is so easy to criticize. My husband is used to me, the nurse, but doesn't believe he's ok until his sister,the pharm tech, tells him so.

Every time my kids complained of a stomach ache they would also say quickly "no I'm not constipated."

After the last three nights of hearing a pt screaming for "water"(CHF)and "brown"(I don't know),I was a little affected. The supervisor asks if we need help and I nod my head and say BROWN. may be you had to be there.

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i smell a code in the air!!!

You KNOW you are a nurse when your youngest child pukes in a buffet and you quietly clean it up while finishing your dessert. My children know the first words out of my mouth are "did you wash your hands and have you pooped today"!!! smile.gif

Originally posted by Deb Rn:

This is all sooooo funny. I too watch trauma and ER and give running comentaries. My hubby wonders why there isn't any programs on the life of a salesman he can relate to. My husband thinks I medicate the children too much for sniffles or headaches. But this is what we do. LOL.

You won't believe what happened at our Christmas party! We were sitting around laughing, talking, drinking and having a good time, then when 2100 rolled around, our hostess reached for the remote and turned on ER! (No one complained, either!)

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