It's hard to live with a nurse because...

[Brian]

1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.

2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because she doesn't want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday she's had off in years.

3) You've been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.

[Liann]

You all are just too funny! I am not a nurse, but a medical technologist, in a trauma hospital laboratory , and I too pick at medical shows. Family wont watch with me and wonders why I insist on tuning in every week!

My kids know that taking a tylenol and getting some sleep is the universal cure all. And I have used the line about "no bone or spurting blood , no problem"

When I am with friends who are not in medical field and are griping about a bad day, I can trump them all...."Did anybody DIE? Well, then it wasnt so bad, was it???"

[howie122832]

In my house... Its' " if your not bleeding and no bones are poking through your skin... your fine!"

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

My kids have the same rules. They know it takes a lot to impress me, and I'm sorry, but a scratch or a head cold just don't cut it. While other peoples' kids whine about their sore throats, mine know they only get to stay home from school if they've thrown up at least twice and/or are running a fever >102.5. And if they get hurt in PE, and it's not severe enough to merit a trip to urgent care, it waits until they get home. Some folks who are NOT nurses think I'm nuts, but I don't treat my kids any differently than I do myself---when I was working, I never stayed home unless I couldn't get my head off the pillow (or out of the toilet).

I just love it when the 11-year-old gets a headache and goes to the office to lie down for a while, and the secretary gets all bent out of shape because no one will take him home (we have only one school nurse for the entire district, and we're lucky if she gets to spend an hour a week at the middle school). I wonder sometimes what century the school people think we're living in anyway---they still seem to think we moms are all still at home scrubbing tile or something. But that's a different subject........

[JBudd, MSN]

My mom gave me a cruise through the Mediterranian with her. I worked the night shift, caught the plane and 2 jetlagged days later was in Italy staring at Michelangelo's David. All I had ever heard was how anatomically correct it was, not that certain parts were enlarged for strength etc. The statue is placed high on a pedestal, so the feet are basically at eye level. My very first thought was "wow! what a lot of edema he's got! and I could put a 16 in those arms without a tourniquet!" then "he's got Marfan's!" (because the hands are enlarged to show power).

Great art and I just don't mix I guess.:roll :imbar

[adrienurse, LPN]

Most friends think I'm crazy, fortunately though I have one friend who is a Social Worker and also works with people with dementia who do bizarre things. Whenever I'm out in a group, we inevitably start talking shop and it all goes downhill from there. They look at us and shake their heads. You do this for a living?

[RN auditor]

If my kids have a complaint (and with 4 kids, one always has a complaint), I have to remind them I get paid to give compassion and now I am off duty. My husband can get pretty frustrated when I don't take his complaints seriously.

[nimbex, RN]

The school "nurse" calls you to pick up your "sick" child... and you give them the third degree.....

temp? vomit (mucus or bile), diarrhea (did you see it)... after they answer yes to all of the above... you ask...

Do they have a test next period?

Then the principal gets on the line... and you know you've gone too far :-)

carol

[takararose, RN]

when ever my kid gets hurt like running into the wall, i pick her up, make sure there is no blood, then go examine the wall to see if it got hurt....no sympathy for hubby's ails either.....no blood no bones no need for me, lol

[karenG]

amazing anyone wants to live with us!!

my husband hit his thumb with a sledgehammer........and I rolled around laughing. did not go down well!!

no blood, no bone showing through..no sympathy!

Karen

[mlolsonny]

Mom's XBF was a first responder.

So he's home alone and notices that his foot feel wet. Upon exam discovers a vericose vein had burst and was bleeding profusely. Calmly walks to the phone, dials 911, walks to the front door and unlocks it, lays newspaper on the stairs, then lies down with feet elevated on newspapers on the stairs. "Well you know how hard it is to get blood out of carpet?" He was totally cool and calm throughout the whole thing.

I couldn't believe it!!

He calls me one AM to tell me "I thought I should call and let you know that your mom's in the hospital. She had emergency surgery last night to remove her gallbladder, but I didn't want to wake you..." I was a thousand miles away and couldn't have done anything anyway, but he was so calm.

[Heather333]

My husband has it bad. I'm an RN, so is his mom, 2 sisters, and BIL. He is so used to hearing "shop" talk at dinner that it doesn't even phase him anymore. Poor Guy! He tends to cut himself working on the cars or the house. Most of the time he doesn't need stiches. He always tells me that a paper towel and some duct tape will fix it!

Heather

[casperbjs]

3 years ago both of my sons were into rollerbalading, playing hockey. My youngest son who was 16 at the time was the goalie.

My other son was 19. They were in the park playing which is a short way from the house. It was about 6:00 p.m. and I had come home from work tired, and laid down on the couch and was taking a quick nap. When all of a sudden my oldest son zooms in the front door with rollerblades on and says, Mom, Josh broke his ankle. I ask, (very calmly) how do you know it's broken? He says, believe me, he broke it! So I drive to the park, and sure enough he had a dislocation of the ankle, which was reduced, and fx. of shaft of rt. fibula with a distal tibiofibular diastasis. Had open reduction and internal fixation of the distal tibia & fibula with single screw.

He had to go by rescue squad, he's 6 foot and I would have never got him in my car in the shape he was in.