10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for - page 8

Very, very funny and true! If I may add one more: "Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)... Read More

  1. by   AfloydRN
    Blow harder- Respiratory. Hurry up and get those pants off- I haven't got all day. I have to restrain you. Drink this or else. Bend over let's get going. I didn't like the way he looked so I drugged him.
  2. by   niko1999 RN BSN
    Spread 'em so I can fit this thing in there(referring to fitting a wheelchair between the legs of a sit stand, or putting a pillow between a residents legs)
  3. by   spiceyqueen
    on a very slow evening shift, helping guys into bed, i said to one of the guys (a quad)."mate, do you prefer to get get undressed in the chair or on the bed?"didnt realise how bad it sounded till his wife started laughing and asking if am coming on to him or something
  4. by   TrickieTam
    I am gonna take your clothes off and look for abnormal places on your body (body audit)
  5. by   BJLynn
    "Just relax and this tube will go into your bum a lot easier"
  6. by   cvicugirl
    ...and after I get it (arterial sheath) out, I'm gonna need to put this big clamp on your groin for a little while...
  7. by   burn out
    I am going to insert this tube in your penis...then I am going to stick this tube down your nose..and if you don't leave them alone I going to tie your hands down...did you say you wanted to sign out AMA.
  8. by   staceylee67
    "Would you go do my patient" or "Lets go do Mr. Smith" meaning asking the CNA to give him a bath.
  9. by   Christie RN2006
    These are hillarious!! I never really thought about how the things I/we say sound to other people!!!
  10. by   MissJoRN
    Hey, what about the things the patients are saying? I treasure my OB because he suspecialized in endocrinology. A co-worker once questioned why I would go out of network and pay my office pills out of pocket. Just change Drs, see Dr Smith. I said, Dr Jones has seen me for years, he's managing my issues just fine, and when I want a family, Dr Jones is the only one I trust to get me pregnant. Ooops! We just looked at each other and started laughing.
  11. by   edsdcs
    Quote from ballyk
    what about "wiggle your toes....little prick" just before an IM injection
    lol, "little prick"
  12. by   Christie RN2006
    x-ray was in my patients room the other day and they said something that I have heard hundreds of times, but for some reason it really struck me funny... could have been lack of sleep, but anyways they said "we need to get a quick picture of your chest" I guess I had never really thought about how that sounded before, we all got a big laugh out of that one. The x-ray tech said that another one people comment on a lot is when they say that they are going to "shoot them"
  13. by   JenTheRN
    Two things I said today:

    "I need a screw right here"...Well, I did. And maintenance still hasn't put it up! (Oh lord, that sounds even worse!)

    "I have a discharge" (Been said here before, but I never thought about what I was saying!)