10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

Nurses Humor

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Very, very funny and true!

If I may add one more:

"Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)

To my co-workers,"Another one bites the dust..." Gallows humor, I guess.

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Specializes in NICU.

Said by my preceptor when I was learning to give a suppository to an infant:

Now, just gently push your pinky finger one knuckle deep into his rectum...

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Specializes in Peds Cardiology,Peds Neuro,Pedi ER,PICU, IV Jedi.

I'd like to intubate her with my laryngoscope of love....:rotfl:

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I look very asian, but I'm hispanic, so working in a family care clinic for a chinese doctor he taught me what to say as a curtesy to his patients.

I would walk in, paper garments in hand and say (in mandarin):

"I don't speak chinese, please get naked"

'undressed' was completely unpronouncable!

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Specializes in ICU/CCU, Peds, DD's, Hospice.

Sir you'e going to have to poop into this hat until the pin comes out and please save it for me, I have to sift you stool! ( another fond County General Hospital memory.)

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Specializes in ICU/CCU, Peds, DD's, Hospice.

you can't tense up if you're blowing

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I work in Plastics where we do a lot of rescontruction post mastectomy. I have a box of sample implants in my desk drawer. I get a kick out of being able to say "let me show you my breasts" and won't get fired for it.

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Specializes in Surgical wards, Elderly Care.

Something i heard from behind the curtain.......... Come on 'Fred' get your leg over........... (nurse was rolling patient to wash his back)

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Just relax, it's over quicker that way.

Don't bite, just suck.

Now, doesn't that feel goood?

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Okkkk, can't go on. oooonly on page 2. Ffffive more pppages to go. Cccan't brrreath too ffffunny. I could actually die here from laughing.

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Specializes in ANAESTHESIA, RECOVERY AND INTENSIVE CARE.

Theseare Indeed Funny

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Specializes in surgical, emergency.

I don't know about getting arrested, but these two will sure make heads turn!!

1. I used to teach CPR, and the Annie had a paper strip read out that showed how hard the student was compressing, etc.

A student of mine, (female), who was having trouble passing the class, stopped at my table at a local pizza shop, and in a voice louder than she intended, said: "Can I stop in and do a strip for you tomorrow, I've been practicing !!" You could hear necks snap, as they turned to look!!!

2. Working in surgery, everyone I work with is, of course, in scrubs. Who hasn't run across the line: "Oh, you look different with your clothes on!"

Not lines to get arrested for, but fun to watch lay people reactions.

Mike

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