10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

[sharann]

Very, very funny and true!

If I may add one more:

"Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)

[Hum'nbird]

How bout, "Eat it all up, that's right, good girl."........... Or, "I know it tastes bad, just plug your nose when you swallow."........I love this one: "Just push this and I'll come when you need me.".........There are so many, what a funny post, john. Too funny Athena, lol! Who'd a thought we would become poop experts when we first decided to be a nurse.......eeeeeeeewwwww

[sonnie]

The funniest thing I think I ever heard was a young handsome resp. therapist tell an elderly lady... " honey put this in your mouth now suck don't blow!" He was assisting her with her incentive spirometer

[Stargazer]

Another incentive spirometer story: a bunch of us had a good laugh one day when a veteran nurse was heard urging her hard-of-hearing patient behind the curtain, "Come on, Harry--get it up for me one more time!!!Pleeease??"

[arbley]

The other night at work, our respiratory therapist was busy suctioning a patient. He had almost completed the job to his satisfaction, but wanted just a little more. He says to the patient (no kidding), "I'm going to go down on you one more time and get you all sucked out." I could not keep a straight face.

[susyqrn]

Ha Ha

How about, I have to stick this tube up your nose.

I'm going to rub some lotion on your body.

[chrn]

Incentive spirometers weren't always called that....when we first started using them regularly, one of the surgeons couldn't remember what the device was called when he wrote the order: "Suck balls QID".

I'll never forget the laugh we had after that one.

[kennedyj]

Can't stop rolling....Lmao...

[HazeK]

isn't it great all the material incentive spirometers give for misquotes?

will share w/ my peers at work!

LMAO!

[Kare]

After dialysis the nurse removes all of the blood tubing from the machine. As I was helping I announced " I'm going to strip now"...the patient replied "Go ahead" ....Funny how the most innocent situations take on a different perspective...

[panda_181]

Okay, these are great! I never thought of how these things sound to other people!

Amanda :)

[wildcherry]

Checking a pts. bottom I said, you have two open areas down here....the elderly woman replied, " yes ,I do. Don't you young lady?", then she turned to me and winked. :)

[Jay-Jay, RN]

I actually said this to a male patient today: Spread your buttocks and your legs so I can get this in!

I was packing a pilonidal cyst at the time....