Nurses struggling with mental illness

[Severina]

I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

[TopazLover, BSN, RN]

I appreciate this thread, also. All of us stuggle with our responsibilities and our disease(s). Some days I do better than others. Is always is good to check in here and connect with you. I am still on small doses of my meds and am not back to my better functioning, but I know going for help before it got really bad was a great decision and I will get back on track.

Mental illness is not accepted well. It is a fact that I deal with, not always really well. I have difficulty accepting it so I can understand why others fear it so much. For me a simple life and meds are a good start to doing well. My faith is not very strong and I borrow from all of you daily in that area. AA says that acceptance is the answer to all our problems. I work hard to accept but it is not easy. I have difficulty knowing what is "normal grief" and what is abnormal depression. I know my chemistry has changed and I respond differently than I would like. I fake happiness when all I feel is lack of as much pain. I stop myself from staying up and try to avoid things I can get lost in. So far it is more survival than living but I do have hope that time will heal some of my hurting. My life stopped in so many ways when my DH died. I am working on creating a new life without him but it is still new and unsettled.

Thanks for being there. For all of you who are having difficulties, keep stopping by and sharing. None of us can fix things but all of us share your times.

[Liddle Noodnik]

I'm glad to read from you guys, it really helps and encourages me!

Keep coming back!

xo

[Lorie P.]

today hasn't been very good, slept most of the day cause i was tired and irritable. my neck and shoulder have been bothering me for the past 2 days and nothing seems to help.

don't think the welbutrin is helping either or it could just be one of those days.

hope everyone else is having a better day!

[steelcityrn, RN]

Many, many nurses I have met are dealing with fibromyalgia,depression or anxiety. Some have all three. Its the kind of job that can cause such stress and distress to our body, mind and spirit. We are pressured at work from incensative managers, very demanding patients (not all) and horrible schedules. No other profession is this difficult.

[Lorie P.]

many, many nurses i have met are dealing with fibromyalgia,depression or anxiety. some have all three.

yes it comes with the job. my right shoulder and neck have been injured 3x over the last 6 years. the last time i had tendonitis in the shoulder. the mri revealed major changes in the osteoblast, oh great something else to feed the flame of mental mind!

its the kind of job that can cause such stress and distress to our body, mind and spirit. we are pressured at work from incensative managers, very demanding patients (not all) and horrible schedules. no other profession is this difficult.

have been doing alot of soul searching and am really not so sure i want to return to taking care of demanding pts, insensative managers, demanding family members.

this of course is not understandable to many of my supports. they can't seem to understand why someone would work so hard going to nursing school would give it all up? i tell them to walk a day in my shoes, spend a 8 or 12 hr shift with me and you will then get a very clear picture of what nursing is all about. it is not the glamorous life protrayed on tv. we don't have the docs doing our work for us.

bet good old florence wouldn't know what to think of today's nursing profession!

some days it is a struggle to even get up and about, yet many others think that any one with mental issues can snap out of it. i think if that were the case, then so many of us wouldn't have to struggle so hard would we?

now that i have vented and had a small pitty party for myself, off to take some tylenol to ease the neck/shoulder pain.

[Liddle Noodnik]

today hasn't been very good, slept most of the day cause i was tired and irritable. my neck and shoulder have been bothering me for the past 2 days and nothing seems to help.

don't think the welbutrin is helping either or it could just be one of those days.

hope everyone else is having a better day!

hmm, if i had a care plan to do on myself the primary prob would be anxiety and the secondary would be chronic neck pain. ok not technically nursing dx but you know what i'm saying anyway you suppose it is a coincidence?

many, many nurses i have met are dealing with fibromyalgia,depression or anxiety. some have all three. its the kind of job that can cause such stress and distress to our body, mind and spirit. we are pressured at work from incensative managers, very demanding patients (not all) and horrible schedules. no other profession is this difficult.

i wonder sometimes if i have fibro.

have been doing alot of soul searching and am really not so sure i want to return to taking care of demanding pts, insensative managers, demanding family members.

this of course is not understandable to many of my supports. they can't seem to understand why someone would work so hard going to nursing school would give it all up? i tell them to walk a day in my shoes, spend a 8 or 12 hr shift with me and you will then get a very clear picture of what nursing is all about. it is not the glamorous life protrayed on tv. we don't have the docs doing our work for us.

bet good old florence wouldn't know what to think of today's nursing profession!

some days it is a struggle to even get up and about, yet many others think that any one with mental issues can snap out of it. i think if that were the case, then so many of us wouldn't have to struggle so hard would we?

now that i have vented and had a small pitty party for myself, off to take some tylenol to ease the neck/shoulder pain.

i absolutely understand. i quit "for good" in 03, went back the end of 08, sometimes i am not sure i should have. it is like an assault on the senses and the emotions the whole time. i love my residents but i am never sure i am doing a good job.

[Lorie P.]

i find it much easier to deal with when i can come here where some do understand what we are going through.

once in a while you come across someone that gives great tips on how to deal with this stuff. but at the same time you still get the one or two who seems to think all we have to do is change this or that and it will go away. unfortunately that isn't the case with me or others here. don't people realize that if we could cahnge and not make the meds we would do just that?

the narrow mindness that one should not resort to drugs is just that, narrow mindness. ( just my ) it still bothers me that people in general have no issues when a person has to take insulin, bp meds, cholesterol meds; yet when it comes to meds for depression, anxiety or other mental issues ;it almost seems like we are still looked down as being weak and only wanting the drugs and not dealing with the issues that makes us this way. if this were true, think how much better we would feel and act!most people do not realize that the same meds that are taken for other medical problems can also cause the drepression, anxiety, insomnia, fatique, etc, so we are in a catch 22. we take the meds for one thing cause we want to live longer, yet at the same time we are taking meds that cause us to not want to take the other ones.

all you have to do is read the print out sheets that come with a rx now days and it gives a list of side effects. not everyone has them, but we know that different people react to drugs in different ways.

i am in no way saying that this is a bad thing, just that i feel there must be more education on mental illness.

anyways thanks for letting me ramble on this morning! i'll get off my soap box and go clean house.:icon_roll

:yeah: to all of you who are here and helping any way you can!

[Lorie P.]

hmm, if i had a care plan to do on myself the primary prob would be anxiety and the secondary would be chronic neck pain. ok not technically nursing dx but you know what i'm saying anyway you suppose it is a coincidence?

i wonder sometimes if i have fibro.

i wonder this too, then in the same thought think is this just in my mind cause i want it to be or because i do have fibo.

i absolutely understand. i quit "for good" in 03, went back the end of 08, sometimes i am not sure i should have. it is like an assault on the senses and the emotions the whole time. i love my residents but i am never sure i am doing a good job.

yep, one of the reasons i am not wanting to return to pt care. i know i can do a good job, yet my heart and mental status say other wise!

[mustlovepoodles, RN]

have been doing alot of soul searching and am really not so sure i want to return to taking care of demanding pts, insensative managers, demanding family members.

this of course is not understandable to many of my supports. they can't seem to understand why someone would work so hard going to nursing school would give it all up? i tell them to walk a day in my shoes, spend a 8 or 12 hr shift with me and you will then get a very clear picture of what nursing is all about. it is not the glamorous life protrayed on tv. we don't have the docs doing our work for us.

bet good old florence wouldn't know what to think of today's nursing profession!

i feel like this too. this year i have been hospitalized twice for severe depression. i've just come out of a 7wk program and i do not feel ready to go back to work, in any capacity. it feels almost like a traumatic brain injury--my short-term memory is extremely short and i find it hard to concentrate while reading ,driving, or watching tv shows. even following a recipe is too hard!

obviously, i cannot work as a nurse like this. thankfully, my husband "gets it." of course he has been the recipient of some of my tantrums, unfortunately. i've been a nurse 31 years. very few nurses make it in this profession 30-40 years because the work is so taxing. no other profession is expected to give and give and give like nursing does. and frankly, i just can't give any more. i don't have the inner resources.

i don't know what i will eventually do. i am considering something in a non-caregiving line of work, like retail. i just feel so broken; even though i am receiving wonderful care and i have good family support, i'm struggling a bit to get back on my feet. what to people do when they have to return to work? i feel like such a weinie.

[Lorie P.]

i feel like this too. this year i have been hospitalized twice for severe depression. i've just come out of a 7wk program and i do not feel ready to go back to work, in any capacity. it feels almost like a traumatic brain injury--my short-term memory is extremely short and i find it hard to concentrate while reading ,driving, or watching tv shows.i have had this problem too and my doc seems to think it is because of being on the heart-lung-by-pass machine for 6 hours when i had my cabg in 1999.

my daughter's pediatrican told me he had the same thing happen after his cabg in 2001.

even following a recipe is too hard!

obviously, i cannot work as a nurse like this. thankfully, my husband "gets it." of course he has been the recipient of some of my tantrums, unfortunately. i've been a nurse 31 years. very few nurses make it in this profession 30-40 years because the work is so taxing. no other profession is expected to give and give and give like nursing does. and frankly, i just can't give any more. i am sure there are more out there that think along the same lines but are afraid, too proud or denying that they have the same thoughts.

i don't have the inner resources. it happens to the best of us. after so many years of being strong and caring for others, we get to the point of no return and end up hurting ourself in the end,

i don't know what i will eventually do. i am considering something in a non-caregiving line of work, like retail. i just feel so broken; even though i am receiving wonderful care and i have good family support, i'm struggling a bit to get back on my feet. what to people do when they have to return to work? i feel like such a weinie.

you are not a weinie. do you think people with other medical problems think they are weinies when it comes to not having any control over one's illness.

i am thinking about going to work in a bakery, did that years ago and yu really don't have to deal with people when you are in the back baking.:icon_roll only thing is i don't want to have to get up at 03:30 to be at work by 0430.

not even sure if i want to go back to work, yet i know i will have to soon. don't want to deplete our savings account, what little is in there!

hang in there and take it one day at a time. come here for support, venting or just to lurke.

:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat

[Liddle Noodnik]

i find it much easier to deal with when i can come here where some do understand what we are going through.

once in a while you come across someone that gives great tips on how to deal with this stuff. but at the same time you still get the one or two who seems to think all we have to do is change this or that and it will go away. unfortunately that isn't the case with me or others here. don't people realize that if we could cahnge and not make the meds we would do just that?

the narrow mindness that one should not resort to drugs is just that, narrow mindness. ( just my ) it still bothers me that people in general have no issues when a person has to take insulin, bp meds, cholesterol meds; yet when it comes to meds for depression, anxiety or other mental issues ;it almost seems like we are still looked down as being weak and only wanting the drugs and not dealing with the issues that makes us this way. if this were true, think how much better we would feel and act!most people do not realize that the same meds that are taken for other medical problems can also cause the drepression, anxiety, insomnia, fatique, etc, so we are in a catch 22. we take the meds for one thing cause we want to live longer, yet at the same time we are taking meds that cause us to not want to take the other ones.

all you have to do is read the print out sheets that come with a rx now days and it gives a list of side effects. not everyone has them, but we know that different people react to drugs in different ways.

i am in no way saying that this is a bad thing, just that i feel there must be more education on mental illness.

anyways thanks for letting me ramble on this morning! i'll get off my soap box and go clean house.:icon_roll

:yeah: to all of you who are here and helping any way you can!

if nothing else we may be able to teach what it is like for us, even if only one heart is changed by reading, it is worth it.

some people can pull themselves up by the bootstraps.

some people can't.

i am one of those who has been able to get off meds with a great deal of medical and spiritual supervision. do i think it's the answer for everybody? no. and is it easy? heck no. for me it was a god thing. but it was not something i just flippantly decided. my life and the lives of my patients are too important. and who knows, i may need meds again someday. i hope not. but i sure don't need someone who is not in my shoes telling me i should or shouldn't. you can't will yourself not to be diabetic and you sure can't will yourself not to have depression or bipolar. it's more complicated than that.

yep, one of the reasons i am not wanting to return to pt care. i know i can do a good job, yet my heart and mental status say other wise!

sometimes i wonder! i always seem to want more than i should have. i have gotten myself pretty overwhelmed lately, trying to do too much. not just work, i only do 20 hrs, but i am very involved in church and other things and have been overdoing it. i've got to be careful for sure. you will know when or if the time is right to go back or in what capacity.

i feel like this too. this year i have been hospitalized twice for severe depression. i've just come out of a 7wk program and i do not feel ready to go back to work, in any capacity. it feels almost like a traumatic brain injury--my short-term memory is extremely short and i find it hard to concentrate while reading ,driving, or watching tv shows. even following a recipe is too hard!

obviously, i cannot work as a nurse like this. thankfully, my husband "gets it." of course he has been the recipient of some of my tantrums, unfortunately. i've been a nurse 31 years. very few nurses make it in this profession 30-40 years because the work is so taxing. no other profession is expected to give and give and give like nursing does. and frankly, i just can't give any more. i don't have the inner resources.

i don't know what i will eventually do. i am considering something in a non-caregiving line of work, like retail. i just feel so broken; even though i am receiving wonderful care and i have good family support, i'm struggling a bit to get back on my feet. what to people do when they have to return to work? i feel like such a weinie.

i did nothing for 2 yrs then retail for 2 yrs before i returned to a very low-key part-time nursing position. there is no shame in it. sometimes i felt ashamed but that just keeps me from being all that i can. no shame. it's "their" shame for judging you. you just do what you need to do.

sometimes it is much better for my patients if i don't work as a nurse, and it's ok to know that. trust yourself to know.

hope i am not being to "ethereal", i am so so so tired.

i'm glad you wrote!

[johnst10]

I recently took a position at a LTC. The day before work (Monday) my 21 year old said, "I guess the next time I come home it will be to get my things", to move into an apt. Cry. My 18 yo is living with some bum in KC, KC (we live in Indiana) who is going to court again next week for a moving viloation. He just got off house arrest. She called to see how things were going. Crying. On the way to work Tuesday one of those "My kid is growing up" songs was on the radio. Rivers of tears. I spent the first 1 1/2 hr at work crying because I hate it there. I feel like a fake. The parerwork is foolish. I can't find the resident's meds.... Did I mention we've moved 3 times in 3 years?

My DH has been my support for 15 years. I said something to him. He said he could tell I was slipping again.

Deep breath. Guided imagery, positive thoughts. My favorite phrase "I am capable". Meds help. People help. I love my counselor. God seems far away right now but He's there. I've been a nurse for 25 years and I AM CAPABLE!