I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.
Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.
Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"
I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.
I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.
hello to all you wonderful nurses who are members of this forum and having the courage to share your experiences.
i have been a nurse for over 5+ years and was terminated from my job on 4-6-09, my post is on the following discussions; general nursing, private duty nursing and distance learning.
i have suffered from clinical depression and anxiety for the past 9 years. most of the time i had it under control but every once in awhile i would struggle. i would go see my pcp and get my meds changed. had to go in last week and get changed again because i could feel myself going down the dark tunnel again.
i also have cad,htn and pkd. i have had 2open :heartbeat surgeries and various other health problems to deal with. problems with sleeping, suffering from the side-affects of bp/heart meds.
anyways i am taking time out to regroup, see a couselor and focus on me for a change.
just wanted to say hi and how much i admire you all.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
hello to all you wonderful nurses who are members of this forum and having the courage to share your experiences.
i have been a nurse for over 5+ years and was terminated from my job on 4-6-09, my post is on the following discussions; general nursing, private duty nursing and distance learning.
i have suffered from clinical depression and anxiety for the past 9 years. most of the time i had it under control but every once in awhile i would struggle. i would go see my pcp and get my meds changed. had to go in last week and get changed again because i could feel myself going down the dark tunnel again.
i also have cad,htn and pkd. i have had 2open :heartbeat surgeries and various other health problems to deal with. problems with sleeping, suffering from the side-affects of bp/heart meds.
anyways i am taking time out to regroup, see a couselor and focus on me for a change.
just wanted to say hi and how much i admire you all.
anyways i am
i hope your time is fruitful and you can get a handle on this stupid illness. i'm sorry it has kicked your butt like this! but glad you know when to say when, i had to stop working many times to "regroup" as you called it.
don't stop coming to the site though, it will help you be ready to come back when it's time!
thanks so much! there have been many times in the past that i wanted to quit but never did due to always wanting to be strong, cared what people would think of me, didn't want others to know i was suffering with the " it's all in your head" issues, etc, etc, etc,.
i want some time to focus on me and be taken care of for awhile. tired of being the care-giver.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
thanks so much! there have been many times in the past that i wanted to quit but never did due to always wanting to be strong, cared what people would think of me, didn't want others to know i was suffering with the " it's all in your head" issues, etc, etc, etc,.
i want some time to focus on me and be taken care of for awhile. tired of being the care-giver.
hope every one has a good day!
sounds good, lorie! hang in there and check in now and then, k? xo
Hi everyone, i'm so happy to hear all your strories because I thought I was the only one suffering from Depression. I've been going through this Depression and severe Anxiety attack for 2 years now. I have recently graduated from Nursing school in the Philippines and now back i'm back here in the States and taking my NCLEX in June. My problem now is that I don't know if Nursing is really for me knowing that I'm depressed and I have panic attacks one in awhile. I'm on medication but I'm still scared to face what is ahead of me because of this disorder. I've been trying to fight this disorder by myself and i'm just so happy to hear everyone's story and know that i am not alone. If anyone has any advice for me please don't hesitate to email me back or comment back. I am willing to hear any of your advice to help me overcome this fear.
hi everyone, i'm so happy to hear all your strories because i thought i was the only one suffering from depression. i've been going through this depression and severe anxiety attack for 2 years now. i have recently graduated from nursing school in the philippines and now back i'm back here in the states and taking my nclex in june. my problem now is that i don't know if nursing is really for me knowing that i'm depressed and i have panic attacks one in awhile. i'm on medication but i'm still scared to face what is ahead of me because of this disorder. i've been trying to fight this disorder by myself and i'm just so happy to hear everyone's story and know that i am not alone. if anyone has any advice for me please don't hesitate to email me back or comment back. i am willing to hear any of your advice to help me overcome this fear.
welcome and you would be very surprised that the nurses that suffer and don't do anthing about it. at least you know you have a problem and are taking the right steps to help improve it.
hang in there and know that we are here!:heartbeat:heartbeat
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
hi everyone, i'm so happy to hear all your strories because i thought i was the only one suffering from depression. i've been going through this depression and severe anxiety attack for 2 years now. i have recently graduated from nursing school in the philippines and now back i'm back here in the states and taking my nclex in june. my problem now is that i don't know if nursing is really for me knowing that i'm depressed and i have panic attacks one in awhile. i'm on medication but i'm still scared to face what is ahead of me because of this disorder. i've been trying to fight this disorder by myself and i'm just so happy to hear everyone's story and know that i am not alone. if anyone has any advice for me please don't hesitate to email me back or comment back. i am willing to hear any of your advice to help me overcome this fear.
oh you are not alone by far, trust me! :) please do stick around, read the rest of the thread, and come by for support and help anytime! we are not allowed to give medical advice but definitely mutual support, and prayer if anyone asks.
xo
welcome and you would be very surprised that the nurses that suffer and don't do anthing about it. at least you know you have a problem and are taking the right steps to help improve it.
hang in there and know that we are here!:heartbeat:heartbeat
yes amen! some who don't know, and some who hide it because of fear. it gets so much worse though when it doesn't get addressed.
too many times i have seen myself not want to admit that i have depression due to the stereo-types. but once i admitted to myself, it was easier to get the help i need and needed.
i am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. i f i don't take care of myself, who will? as nurses we spend time, energry and effort taking care of others and we end up suffering because of it. then sometimes it take a major set back to make us wake up.
i don't know how many times i have heard the comments made by others : she's never showed any signs of being depressed; the reason maybe they couldn't see the "signs" is because as a nurse i could use my job as an excuse. oh it's the nurse/pt ratio, understaffing, too much paperwork, etc, etc, etc,.
so everyone hang in there and have a great weekend! sorry i lost my chain of thought when my dd came in and started talking to me as i was typing.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
too many times i have seen myself not want to admit that i have depression due to the stereo-types. but once i admitted to myself, it was easier to get the help i need and needed.
i am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. i f i don't take care of myself, who will? as nurses we spend time, energry and effort taking care of others and we end up suffering because of it. then sometimes it take a major set back to make us wake up.
i don't know how many times i have heard the comments made by others : she's never showed any signs of being depressed; the reason maybe they couldn't see the "signs" is because as a nurse i could use my job as an excuse. oh it's the nurse/pt ratio, understaffing, too much paperwork, etc, etc, etc,.
so everyone hang in there and have a great weekend! sorry i lost my chain of thought when my dd came in and started talking to me as i was typing.
good to hear from you and how you manage things. every little tip helps!! and knowing we're not alone helps a lot! i remember one place i was working and i was drowning. felt like i was the only one. so much depression and anxiety. then one nurse shared she was on anti-depressants and struggled too, even tho on the outside she "looked good". it helped me a lot!
my first episode of depression really hit me hard about 9 years ago. then 2 years after that i had another really hard 3 months or so. each time it was because i was too proud, stubborne, scared, and afraid to let any one know what was happening to me.
third time it happened and i went to see my pcp, he explained it like this " lorie, you have cad, htn and pkd, you take meds to help manage and control these. so think of your antidepressants in the same way, you have to have them and it not because of something you did or didn't do. you just happen to be one of those people that will have to take these meds just like your other ones."
this helped me alot. i did fine for awhile. even went back a couple of years ago because the current dosage at the time wasn't working. so he upped my dosage and it worked for long then before. but starting about 1.5 years ago or so, i would have these days of just feeling very moody, anxious, irriratable and grumpy. i chalked it up to working on a very busy med/surge floor taking care of 6-10 very ill pts with any and everything from esrd with hd, iddm, chf, etc, etc, etc,. so back in march of last year i make the decision to leave the hospital because i couldn't get a day shift position ( i worked 7 on/ 7 off 11-7 for 4 years and was burned out).
after leaving the hospital, i went to private duty nursing. for the first few months i was fine. i actually enjoyed my job and was working on 3 days a week and could spend time with my family, get rest and have a life outside of nursing.
well about oct, i started feeling run down, no energry, lost a very good friend to breast ca, my step-mom was dx with chf and had 3 major mi's. my husband was an over the road truck driver at the time. so here i was working with my new client mon-friday 8-5. yet, i was the only parent at home taking care of my 10 ydd, feeding the animals we have, taking her to school, picking her up from a very reliable sitter in the afternoons. paying all the bills, running a household and not looking after myself.
well come jan, my poor husband couldn't stand being away from home for up to 3 weeks at a time, only home 2 days then gone again. he wasn't making that much money after having to spend money to live on the road for 3 weeks at a time.
so jan first he quits and comes home to be a stay-at home dad. i didn't have a problem with that at all. by this time i was working 55-60hrs week and doing fine, unitl about a month ago.
i noticed that i started to resent being away from home, i was so tired with no energry, wasn't sleeping, was getting very irritable, angry and just not a happy person. my client really and truly didn't need a nurse anymore. she was a 7 month old baby with trach and g-tube. her parents were young and would sleep all day and not go to bed till 3 or 4 am. the dad works withe the railroad, so he got paid to work ot not work.
anyways the company i work for didn't want to lose the account because it was an excellent account. so the other day i admitted that my zoloft wasn't working as it should be and that's when all hell broke lose. the termination, the falsifing of records, etc, etc, etc,
now an up-date, i am starting to feel better mentally but not quite the way i should be. i am not sure if i want to return to nursing or not. i am going to continue to take it easy until the 21st when i go back for a check up.
it is still hard to know that i have this mental illness and will always have it. it's not an easy thing to live with, but with the right support, which i have and the right medications i do know that i can get a handle and be able to better manage it.
as i have said before, no one likes to admit when they suffer from any type of mental issues do to a number of reasons. all i know is that with time, things do get better and i thank each of you here again for the support that you have given me and others.
have a great weekend( what is left) and a very happy easter to those who celebrate it.
You guys cannot believe how happy I am to find this thread. I have had a long struggle with chronic depression and homicidal ideation's. I really feel horrible about how out of control I was with my children, now 18 and 21. My DH wouldn't leave me alone with them any longer than he had to. The only thing that really saved me at first was work. It was a way to be super busy and not think about family, responsibilities, etc.
This year we moved for the third time in three years. Each time to a smaller hosp with less pay. I finally ended up in the mental health hosp in Feb. Lost my job because I hadn't been there a year and they filled my position. Now I'm in LTC and I don't know how long I can handle the stress, pace, being 2 faced. We are perfect when State is here but go back to prepulling meds as soon as they are gone because it is the only way to make it.
Anyway. I feel better now emotionally than i have in years. I just wish I could stop working. In 2 years I should be able to at least slow down.
For the others, Keep up the long fight. We WILL make it!
Lorie P.
755 Posts
hello to all you wonderful nurses who are members of this forum and having the courage to share your experiences.
i have been a nurse for over 5+ years and was terminated from my job on 4-6-09, my post is on the following discussions; general nursing, private duty nursing and distance learning.
i have suffered from clinical depression and anxiety for the past 9 years. most of the time i had it under control but every once in awhile i would struggle. i would go see my pcp and get my meds changed. had to go in last week and get changed again because i could feel myself going down the dark tunnel again.
i also have cad,htn and pkd. i have had 2open :heartbeat surgeries and various other health problems to deal with. problems with sleeping, suffering from the side-affects of bp/heart meds.
anyways i am taking time out to regroup, see a couselor and focus on me for a change.
just wanted to say hi and how much i admire you all.
anyways i am