Nurses struggling with mental illness

Nurses Disabilities

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I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

Specializes in Med/Surge, Private Duty Peds.
i recently took a position at a ltc. the day before work (monday) my 21 year old said, "i guess the next time i come home it will be to get my things", to move into an apt. cry. my 18 yo is living with some bum in kc, kc (we live in indiana) who is going to court again next week for a moving viloation. he just got off house arrest. she called to see how things were going. crying. on the way to work tuesday one of those "my kid is growing up" songs was on the radio. rivers of tears. i spent the first 1 1/2 hr at work crying because i hate it there. i feel like a fake. the parerwork is foolish. i can't find the resident's meds....:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat so sorry to hear you are having a rough time. this is one of the many ares of nursing care that the public is not aware of. paperwork,paperwork, paperpor and more paperwork. the place i use to work at , we had to chart bs on 3 different forms. then if a bs was too high or low, that meant another form to chart on. then there is the missing med hunt you have to go on. it was hard doing it for 6-8 med/surge pts, i know i could never do it in ltc.

you have my respect for working in ltc along with your health issues.

did i mention we've moved 3 times in 3 years?

my dh has been my support for 15 years. i said something to him. he said he could tell i was slipping again.

deep breath. guided imagery, positive thoughts. my favorite phrase "i am capable". meds help. people help. i love my counselor. god seems far away right now but he's there. i've been a nurse for 25 years and i am capable!

you know that this crazy illness can even bring down the most capable nurse. i am just happy to hear that you have recognized you are starting to slip again and are able to do something about it.

even the best support things, people or groups don't always seem to help when we are having "one of those days".

speaking of one of those days. it is a blah one for me. i work up tired even though i slept for 7 hrs. i hurt in my muscles and joints. i feel crabby with the thoughts " if the wind blows it blows, if it doesn't it doesn't". i took my 10y dd to school came back home and went back to bed until 1200 noon. i don't feel like putting the laundary away, unloading the dishwasher, or anthing else but curling back up in bed and sleep.

yet, i can't do that cause i have a family that is depending on me. i have outside animals that need to be feed, i have to go pick up dd from school. the list goes on and on. if i don't feel up to doing the most basic chores how in this world can i go take care of pts when i don't even want to take care of me?:uhoh3:

please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and i hope you get through this stage too!:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat

Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.
I recently took a position at a LTC. The day before work (Monday) my 21 year old said, "I guess the next time I come home it will be to get my things", to move into an apt. Cry. My 18 yo is living with some bum in KC, KC (we live in Indiana) who is going to court again next week for a moving viloation. He just got off house arrest. She called to see how things were going. Crying.

:flwrhrts:I know just what you mean. It's not enough that I'm in recovery; my older kids have lost their minds! Just this week my 16yo beautiful daughter gave her cell phone number to some guy that came to the door selling magazines (***??) And he called her! Oh great. He knows where she lives, where she goes to school, and her cell phone number. What was she thinking?

Then my 22yo son called us Easter morning at 3am to pick him up after he got pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving. Thankfully the cop believed his story (he had been to a bachelor party) and he recognized that he was about 2 blocks from home. The cop only charged him with open containers(2!) and speeding. My son is very contrite. And he had to eat deviled eggs, potato salad, and asparagus for Easter dinner, with a hangover.:barf01:

Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.

i don't know what i will eventually do. i am considering something in a non-caregiving line of work, like retail. i just feel so broken; even though i am receiving wonderful care and i have good family support, i'm struggling a bit to get back on my feet. what to people do when they have to return to work? i feel like such a weinie.

you are not a weinie. do you think people with other medical problems think they are weinies when it comes to not having any control over one's illness.;)

i am thinking about going to work in a bakery, did that years ago and yu really don't have to deal with people when you are in the back baking.:icon_roll only thing is i don't want to have to get up at 03:30 to be at work by 0430.

not even sure if i want to go back to work, yet i know i will have to soon. don't want to deplete our savings account, what little is in there!:o

hang in there and take it one day at a time. come here for support, venting or just to lurke.

:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat

thank you so much. i have actually considered going to the local community tech school to take a few culinary classes. i love to cook and i don't have to have a relationship with food. i think your idea of working in a bakery is wonderful.

Specializes in Med/Surge, Private Duty Peds.

:D:d way before i became a nurse i was a chef in the us navy for 12 years, then worked as a pastry chef for a couple of years at a very up-scale grocery chain. but soon left and realized that it was partly because of depression back then too. i just didn't know it a the time.

i would love to own my own pastry /coffe shop but there is no demand for it in my very small rual town. people here think getting the baked goods at the local supermarket is the norm!

i was in italy years ago and fell in love with their pastries! also had a real german pastry chef teach me many tricks of the trade.

the more i start to look at posts on the general nursing and other forums the less i really want to return to patient care.

they keep putting more and more on nurses and expect us to take it. we don't get treated very well by demanding pt's family's, upper management( that forgot what pt is care really is since they worked 10+ years ago) and cutting staff, it is just too much for me to handle right now.

i am looking at ways to cut back on expences and get rid of things that are a like/want instead of need.

so sorry that you are having such a hard time right now.:heartbeat:heartbeat i am reading this book,

quantum healing, exploring the frontiers of mind/body medicine, by deepak chopra, md.

it is really good and opens up thoughts and questions to make one really think outside the box.:idea: one passage that i found to be very interesting is the following;

"there is even the possiblility, many doctors would contend, that the mind is a fiction medically speaking. when we think that is sick, what is really sick is the brain. by this logic, the classical mental disorders-depression, schizophernia, and psychosis- are actually brain disorders. this logic has obvious in addequacies: it is like saying that car wrecks should be blamed on automobiles.";)

anyways, sorry to ramble on but i thought this might help others here. any encouragement and advice is really helping me through this stage.:yeah::yeah:

take care and have good day! :heartbeat:heartbeat

Specializes in Pain mgmt, PCU.

yet, i can't do that cause i have a family that is depending on me. i have outside animals that need to be feed, i have to go pick up dd from school. the list goes on and on. if i don't feel up to doing the most basic chores how in this world can i go take care of pts when i don't even want to take care of me?:uhoh3:

please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and i hope you get through this stage too!:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat

some days it's the dog that is the only reason i get out of bed. i love my mini schnauzer so much i can't bear to have him suffer having to pee or be hungry.

today is better. i really need to watch the alcohol or everything goes out the window. i say things i don't even begin to mean. and they are ugly mean things! as you said. it's good to know what the triggers are and when to see them.

Some days it's the dog that is the only reason I get out of bed. I love my mini Schnauzer so much I can't bear to have him suffer having to pee or be hungry.

Today is better. I really need to watch the alcohol or everything goes out the window. I say things I don't even begin to mean. And they are ugly mean things! As you said. It's good to know what the triggers are and when to see them.

This is why I have animals and why I have chosen to work with animals instead of people in a nursing realm. I get really depressed at times and it's the animals that make me get up in the morning. When I'm manic it's the animals that help me maintain my self control. The animals have helped keep me out of jail. They have kept me living on days that suicide is calling me. The animals are written in my advanced pysch directive as to their care in instances where I maybe committed. Knowing that they are safe keeps me safer. Since they need care, I'm more willing to follow a treatment plan although I hate the side effects of the drugs.

Fuzzy

I agree fully about the animals. My dog keeps me going. She gets me laughing when I would rather curl up and cry. All of you help, my meds help, my family helps, but, in the end, I live life for my dog.

Tonight I raise the meds again. I think going back on them was a good decision, but I agree about the side effects. They are just nasty. I get through each day but know I cannot work as a nurse. I can't handle the stress. I want to work but I know I would not be safe. I don't like not having money. I find it hard to handle time when I don't have to punch a clock. It can be very stressful not working. I wish I had magic answers and could find a balance so I could work, have some money, and still have enough of me to care for myself as well as all the people I would be nursing.

Many days I just read what all of you write, some days I feel like responding, many times I just nod my head in agreement that we all live similar lives. It is really good to know I am not alone in this struggle. All of you touch me in so many ways.

Time to go play with my dog.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

(((((((((((((You guys )))))))))) Hang in there. It's good to hear from everybody! Not much new w/ me, I am looking into doing evenings. Not sure I can handle the pace (I do nights) but I don't sleep as well as I used to! And sleep is essential to my good mental health!

Specializes in Pain mgmt, PCU.

I just quit my job at the LTC and I feel great. I do have a bit ov anxiety over finances, but that is nothing compared to feeling suicidal about my job!!!

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I just quit my job at the LTC and I feel great. I do have a bit ov anxiety over finances, but that is nothing compared to feeling suicidal about my job!!!

That's right, ya gotta do what you gotta do!

Specializes in Med/Surge, Private Duty Peds.

the last few days have been blahhhh to say the least. i have slept for 10hrs or more inthe last 3 days. the new meds don't seem to be helping as much. i will give them until early next week and then call the doc.

it seems as if i can't get enough rest, i am tired, moody and not feeling well at all. i am also tired of explaining it to many that don't understand.

part of the reason i think i feel so worn out is the cocktail of htn, cad, pkd and allergy meds that i take 2x daily. i do ok until it is time for meds and then anout 45 minutes afterwards i can't hold my eyes open.

hope everyone is having a better week than i am right now. chins up and take taking 1 day at a time!!

Specializes in Med/Surge, Private Duty Peds.
i just quit my job at the ltc and i feel great. i do have a bit ov anxiety over finances, but that is nothing compared to feeling suicidal about my job!!!

glad to hear that some things are better. it does seem like a mountain or 2 is off the shoulders once we leave a job doesn't it?

can understand about the anxiety of finaces, i got my cobra paperwork and just laughed when i saw how much they wanted. if i don't have a job how can i pay corba???

yes, anything is better than suicidal thoughts! best of luck, i am rambling now so guess i get off the computer!

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